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Family Guy Season 3 Episodes

22 Episodes 2001 - 2003

Season 3 continues the animated antics of the constantly grousing Griffin family. Among their wacky adventures: They move to the South after entering the Witness Protection Program; Peter discovers he had a black ancestor who was a slave once owned by Lois' family; Peter and Lois turn swingers and she reconnects with an old flame, while he hooks up with Jennifer Love Hewitt (as herself); and Peter and Lois attend a KISS concert (with the band members playing themselves). Other popular stars providing voices include Peter Frampton, Will Ferrell, Mark Hamill, Regis Philbin and Kelly Ripa.

Episode 1

The Thin White Line

Wed, Jul 11, 2001 30 mins

Family dog Brian is "in a rut" so he tries volunteerism, then takes a job as a dope-sniffing narc for the Quahog P.D. Trouble is, he likes what he sniffs a bit too much. Voice of Brian: Seth MacFarlane (series creator). Guest voices include Patrick Warburton (as a cop), Haley Joel Osment (as a kid) and Leif Garrett (as himself).

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Episode 2

Brian Does Hollywood

Wed, Jul 18, 2001 30 mins

Brian heads to Hollywood to be screenwriter and the others follow when Stewie is chosen to be on "Kids Say the Darndest Things." Stewie doesn't exactly hit it off with host Bill Cosby but Brian does make his mark in show business, if not in the way he had intended (as a porn "auteur"). Guest voices include Ray Liotta and adult stars Jenna Jameson and Ron Jeremy (as themselves). Michael Eisner: Gary Cole.

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Episode 3

Mr. Griffin Goes to Washington

Wed, Jul 25, 2001 30 mins

A conglomerate buys Happy Go Lucky Toys and installs Peter (voice of series creator Seth McFarlane) as president. The conglomerate also owns a tobacco company, and before long Peter is on his way to Washington to testify before Congress on the benefits of smoking. Guest voices include Gary Cole and Alyssa Milano (as themselves).

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Episode 4

One if by Clam, Two if by Sea

Wed, Aug 1, 2001 30 mins

Peter and his pals catch a beer-besotted version of the "Spirit of '76" when a Brit buys the Drunken Clam and turns it into an English pub. As it happens, pub owner Nigel Pinchley (voice of series creator Seth MacFarlane) and his family move in next door to the Griffins, and Stewie (also voiced by MacFarlane) plays 'Enry 'Iggins to Nigel's Cockney-accented 3-year-old daughter. Guest voices include Patrick Warburton (Joe) and Jennifer Tilly (Bonnie).

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Episode 5

And the Wiener Is...

Wed, Aug 8, 2001 30 mins

Meg makes the flag-girl squad at James Woods High. That's "almost a cheerleader," she boasts, but it doesn't impress the cool kids. Meanwhile, Peter (voice of series creator Seth MacFarlane) develops a severe case of Chris-envy. Other voices...Connie: Lisa Wilhoit. Jack: Patrick Duffy. Janet: Debra Wilson. Meg: Mila Kunis. Chris: Seth Green.

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Episode 6

Death Lives

Wed, Aug 15, 2001 30 mins

Peter pays a price when he plays golf on his anniversary---he's struck by lightning. Adam Carolla provides the voice of the Grim Reaper, who guides Peter through his "near death experience," which leads to a "revelation" concerning Lois. Also, Peter offers the Reaper dating tips. Other voices include Peter Frampton, Chuck Woolery, Alex Borstein, Mila Kunis and Seth Green.

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Family Guy, Season 3 Episode 6 image

Episode 7

Lethal Weapons

Wed, Aug 22, 2001 30 mins

With a few tae-jitsu lessons under her black belt, Lois (voice of Alex Borstein) turns herself into Quahog's answer to Xena, cutting a wide swath through the hordes of obnoxious leaf-peeping tourists from New York. But soon her violent ways begin to hit home. Voices include Michael Chiklis (Bronx Guy No. 1), Lori Alan (Diane) Johnny Brennan (Horace/Bronx Guy No. 2), Peter Gallagher (Jared).

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Episode 8

The Kiss Seen Round the World

Wed, Aug 29, 2001 30 mins

Meg (voice of Mila Kunis) gets an internship at a TV station. It's a dream job...because she thinks the station's male anchor is dreamy. But it turns nightmarish when the station's other intern, "the biggest dork on the planet," gets a crush on her. Meanwhile, a bully steals Stewie's tricycle. Guest voices include Hugh Downs and Abe Vigoda (as themselves); Adam West (Mayor West); and Michael Chiklis (Cartooney Crewman and Mechanic).

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Family Guy, Season 3 Episode 8 image

Episode 9

Mr. Saturday Knight

Wed, Sep 5, 2001 30 mins

Peter's boss, Mr. Weed, dies suddenly (at the Griffins' house, as it happens), and the toy factory dies with him. Not surprisingly, Peter's "career transition" is less than smooth. Then he decides to follow his 25-year-old dream and become a jouster at Quahog's Renaissance Faire. Voices include Will Ferrell (the Black Knight), Charles Durning (Francis) and Adam Carolla (Death).

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Episode 10

Fish out of Water

Wed, Sep 19, 2001 30 mins

A jobless Peter decides on a line of work fit for "a real New England man": He becomes a fisherman. But there's something fishy about the bank that finances his boat. Meanwhile, Meg and Lois do some serious spring-break partying (Lois does, anyway) at Rhode Island's Narragansett Beach. Series creator Seth MacFarlane provides voices for Peter, Stewie and Brian Griffin, as well as Seamus, Daggermouth and Carson Daly.

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Family Guy, Season 3 Episode 10 image

Episode 11

Emission Impossible

Thu, Nov 8, 2001 30 mins

Stewie takes a fantastic voyage inside Peter's body to keep his parents from having another baby. Peter gets the idea of adding to the brood after delivering a baby (of course, it's an emergency) and Lois happily agrees. Not so happy is baby Stewie, so he makes a bold bid to maintain his status as the youngest Griffin.

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Family Guy, Season 3 Episode 11 image

Episode 12

To Love and Die in Dixie

Thu, Nov 15, 2001 30 mins

The Griffins discover Southern hospitality, courtesy of the Witness Protection Program. They're in hiding because the convenience-store thief Chris fingers escapes from jail and vows revenge. But should he track down Chris, he'll have to contend with Sheriff Peter Griffin. Waylon Jennings has a voice cameo.

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Family Guy, Season 3 Episode 12 image

Episode 13

Screwed the Pooch

Thu, Nov 29, 2001 25 mins

Peter can't stop trying to impress Lois's father, Mr Pewterschmidt, and Brian can't take his eye off Pewterschmidt's racing greyhound. Bob Barker has a voice cameo as himself.

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Family Guy, Season 3 Episode 13 image

Episode 14

Peter Griffin: Husband, Father...Brother?

Thu, Dec 6, 2001 30 mins

When Chris adopts hip-hop speech, Peter (who can't understand a word he's saying) decides to teach his son about his roots and makes a startling discovery. Meanwhile, Stewie becomes enchanted with the Buddy Cianci Junior High cheerleaders.

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Family Guy, Season 3 Episode 14 image

Episode 15

Ready, Willing and Disabled

Thu, Dec 20, 2001 25 mins

Joe, Quahog's disabled cop, is depressed after failing to nab a criminal, so Peter suggests he compete in the Special People's Games as a confidence booster.

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Family Guy, Season 3 Episode 15 image

Episode 16

A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas

Fri, Dec 21, 2001 25 mins

It may be the season, but Peter's anything but merry when holiday preparations prevent him from watching his favorite Christmas special, "KISS Saves Santa." And soon the family experiences the same lack of spirit when they're compelled to do last-minute shopping. Members of KISS provide their own voices. Other voices include Jennifer Tilly, series creator Seth MacFarlane, Alex Borstein and Seth Green.

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Family Guy, Season 3 Episode 16 image

Episode 17

Brian Wallows and Peter's Swallows

Thu, Jan 17, 2002 30 mins

Brian, depressed over bad luck in love, is convicted of DUI and sentenced to care for an ornery old woman whose past comes to the attention of celebrity watcher A.J. Benza. Meanwhile, Peter grows a beard, which displeases Lois (who isn't alone in thinking that it's for the birds). Voices include Seth Green, Seth MacFarlane, Alex Borstein and Mila Kunis.

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Family Guy, Season 3 Episode 17 image

Episode 18

From Method to Madness

Thu, Jan 24, 2002 30 mins

Stewie displays some show-business talent---as long as he's paired with a girl he despises; Meg develops a crush on a teenage nudist. Fred Willard has a voice cameo as the boy's father (who's also a nudist). Other voices include Rachael MacFarlane (Olivia); Mila Kunis (Meg); and series creator Seth MacFarlane (Stewie, Peter and Brian Griffin, plus Elroy Jetson, Michael Caine and drama teacher Simon Soiree).

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Episode 19

Stuck Together, Torn Apart

Thu, Jan 31, 2002 30 mins

Lois runs into an old male friend from school and they renew their friendship. When Peter finds out, he gets jealous, to say the least. Meanwhile, Brian and Stewie get themselves stuck together with industrial-strength glue. Jennifer Love Hewitt has a voice cameo as herself.

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Episode 20

Road to Europe

Thu, Feb 7, 2002 30 mins

Brian and Stewie stow away on a plane they think is bound for England. They're wrong, and soon they're in Saudi Arabia, at the beginning of a long, strange trip back home. Meanwhile, back in the U.S., Peter and Lois have an odd encounter with KISS (whose members provide their own voices). Andy Dick also has a voice cameo as himself, and Michael McKean gives voice to a pig.

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Episode 21

Family Guy Viewer Mail #1

Thu, Feb 14, 2002 30 mins

Three mini-episodes. In the first, a genie grants Peter three wishes and he ends up being propositioned by Catherine Zeta-Jones (voice of Alex Borstein). Then, exposure to toxic waste gives the Griffins super powers (one per Griffin). Finally, in flashbacks, L'il Peter braves a haunted house (for awhile) to impress L'il Lois. Alex Trebek has a voice cameo as himself, and Adam Corolla voices Death.

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Episode 22

When You Wish Upon a Weinstein

Sun, Nov 9, 2003 30 mins

When Peter, who's always been bad with money, squanders family funds on volcano insurance, he seeks out a financial guru. Bob Denver and Tina Louise have voice cameos as their "Gilligan's Island" characters, Gilligan and Ginger. Series creator Seth MacFarlane's voices include Peter, Stewie and Brian Griffin, Ralph Kramden, William Shatner, Tony Robbins and Woody Allen.

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Family Guy, Season 3 Episode 22 image