In a week that included more vicious spats, manly spit-swapping, and too-real reality than the average Thanksgiving dinner, our teacher/mother/secret lover TV didn't disappoint! Check out what parts of Heroes, South Park, Dancing with the Stars and ER made our Top TV Moments.
12. Most Dangerous Special Ability: Heroesis pretty tough on the pre-cogs. On a show where hardly anyone really dies, we've seen two painters of the future lose their heads — literally. Sylar took Issac Mendez's ability (and skullcap) in Season 1, and this week Arthur Petrelli decapitated Usutu. We'll stick to flying, thanks.
11. Best Saliva Swap: In the latest Chuck, our hero has to save Casey from imminent death by using his own blood to mix an antiviral concoction. The syringe breaks, so how can Chuck transmit the antivirus? Through his saliva! In a most un-bromantic moment, he kisses manly-man Casey full on the lips; this is no mere peck. Casey nearly dies from embarrassment. Watch the whole episode with our Online Video Guide.
10. We-Share-Your-Embarrassment Award: Rascal Flatts lead singer Gary LeVox, acknowledging that his flowery velvet jacket — with untucked purple shirt, yellow tie and yellow pocket square (!) — was doing nothing to change country music's image as the worst-dressed entertainment segment: "I'm glad this (award) happened fairly early in the show because I've got to get Ma-Maw's curtains back — soon."
9. Best Mash-Up:Law & Order: Special Victims Unitmanaged to tie together two scandalous news stories — a supposed teen pregnancy pact and a mom cyberbullying a kid into suicide. Heartthrob Jesse McCartney played a jilted boyfriend, while Entourage star Debi Mazar stood out as a mother whose son killed the guy who got his sister pregnant.
8. Most Disappointing Reality: This week's Biggest Loser: Families episode proved that even a good-hearted reality show can be vicious. While Vicky, Brady, Ed and Heba were downright mean to Phillip — calling him a "sleaze-bucket" and "horrible role model" for no reason at all — Amy had the guts to stand up to her team, vote Brady out and break up the Blue team alliance.
7. Best School Musical: South Park joins the High School Musical-mockery industry with a cheerful little episode featuring these reliably acerbic song lyrics: "Do what you wanna do/Just make sure that what you're doing/is what's cool and popular with everyone else." Watch the whole elementary school extravaganza with our Online Video Guide.
6. Most Honest Answer About a Previous Honest Answer About a Previous Honest Answer: Jennifer Anistontold Oprah Winfrey why she said it was "uncool" when asked about Angelina Jolie opening up about the timeline of her relationship with Brad Pitt: "I basically just answered it as honestly as I could." Coming soon: Oprah's response to Aniston's response to Aniston's response to Jolie's response.
5. Most Super Sacrifice:
We anticipated that the "big moment" in this week's Smallville would be the flashback to a Young Chloe planting a kiss on Young Clark, just to "get it over with." Little did we know that the hour's real jaw-dropper would be Clark begging Jor-El to restore Chloe's memory — save for her knowing her BFF's secret. In saving Chloe from that burden, Clark deprived himself of one super confidante.
4. Best Surprise Wedding: Night Court stars Markie Post, Harry Anderson and Charlie Robinson finish what they started 16 years later on 30 Rock. Knowing how upset Kenneth was about the new NBC page uniforms, Tracy gets them to perform the unaired Night Court wedding finale, and hilarity ensues. Following his arrest from a prank pulled by guest star Jennifer Aniston, Jack fills Liz in on his own "Night Court" experience: "The hookers are not funny, and there's a lot more sickly homeless people and terrified college students."
3. Best Speech: After Ben Affleck ridiculed his over-the-top indignation on Saturday Night Live, Keith Olbermann toned it down this week to deliver a moving plea for legalizing gay marriage: "This is not about yelling," he said. "This is about the human heart. And if that sounds corny, so be it." Watch his Special Comment with our Online Video Guide.
2. Most Awkward Tears: While most of the Dancing with the Stars pairs spouted boring psychobabble ("I feel like I need you to tell me when I'm pushing you too hard") during Dr. Drew's counseling sessions on Tuesday, Hannah Montanastar Cody Linley legitimately broke down crying, telling his pro partner Julianne Hough how much he cares about her and that she "brought out the best in him." Julianne, also tearing up, praised the show for introducing her to some of her best friends.
1. Best Flashback: On Thursday's heartbreaking ER, we learned how Dr. Cate Banfield (Angela Bassett) first came to County General: as the mother of a patient being treated by Dr. Mark Greene (Anthony Edwards) as he was undergoing chemo for his brain cancer. The episode is doubly tragic, as both doctor and patient are on the road to fatal diagnoses.
What were the must-see TV moments for you?