Our top moments of the week:
13. Most Revealing: When Naomi gets locked out of her house during a major political fiesta on 90210, she and her partner in crime, Austin decide to break in — which gets them arrested and thrown in the back of a paddy wagon. When the stuffy van becomes too much to bear, the randy pair strips down to their skivvies, and you know where that leads... As they reveal their feelings for each other, while in their underwear, Naomi's boyfriend, Max, catches them. Is there such a charge as breaking, entering and stealing another guy's girlfriend?
12. Most Hilarious Sex-Ed Lesson: Jackson Avery's mom Catherine (guest star Debbie Allen) — who, like everyone else on Grey's Anatomy, is a surgeon — stops by Seattle Grace to perform a groundbreaking penis transplant surgery. During the procedure, apropos of nothing, she asks a nervous-looking April, "So, when are you going to have sex with a man?" What? How'd she know April is Seattle Grace's resident virgin? "You keep looking at this thing like it's going to bite you," she cracks. Jeez, let's hope not.
11. Most Hilarious Head-Scratcher: While some characters are threatened by dangerous vampires, and werewolves are being turned into hybrids on The Vampire Diaries, Matt — one of the only humans on the show — is simply trying to understand his purpose in life. "Elena's dating a vampire, you're a witch, my sister's a ghost, and I'm just a guy wondering how life got so screwed up," he says to Bonnie. At least someone is questioning what the heck is happening in Mystic Falls.
10. Worst Memory: Answer-sharing isn't prohibited on The Amazing Race, but it should be handled with care — on both ends. After Andy and Tommy give Amani and Marcus, who are in last place, the answer to the Roadblock, the couple forgets it by the time they reach the Roadblock clue, and Marcus, who apparently is not the sharpest tool in the shed, proceeds to struggle with the challenge before teaming up with Lisa. Look guys, we know you're tired, but there is absolutely no excuse to forget a spoon-fed answer when you're on the brink of elimination. The bright side? You avoided being what would've been the dumbest elimination ever.
9. Snappiest Comeback: On Kim's Fairytale Wedding: A Kardashian Event Part 1, her hubby-to-be Kris Humphries and sister Khloe clash when Khloe doubts he has good intentions in marrying Kim. "This is very opportunistic of you," she says. "How dare you question someone else's marriage?" Kris admonishes her, for once making a smart argument. "Are you sure you're not just using Lamar? He's a Laker, he's got championships." Burn! But honestly, Khloe, you've got nothing to worry about when this guy didn't even know his betrothed was previously married.
8. Best Last Words: Three of the chef-testants on Top Chef: Just Desserts learn about reality TV the hard way when they engage in a late-night, alcohol-fueled game of "Never Have I Ever." In the middle of admitting to threesomes, being handcuffed to a bed and running over a neighbor's cat, Matthew tells the camera the game is "ridiculously embarrassing and I hope it doesn't end up on TV." Silly Matthew, don't you know those words are music to any reality TV producer's ears?
7. Best Failed Call to Action: When he learns red-headed kids are being bullied, Conan O'Brien takes matters into his own hands and teams up with Elmo to squash the prejudice once and for all. In the PSA, Elmo teaches kids that having red hair is "really cool" by showing pictures of Shaun White and Rupert Grint. However, when he shows a picture of himself, the kids break into tears. "Elmo just realized that some redheads are really scary," the puppet says, before embracing the weepy tots.
6. Strangest Prop: The season premiere of OWN's The Rosie Show is not without its problems, but perhaps the greatest of them all is when the show's first guest, Russell Brand, suddenly bee-lines into the audience, picks up a child (that does not belong to him obviously), and sits the child in his lap on stage. He then jokes, "Do you think like in Oliver Twist I could start a little gang of child pickpockets?" before instructing the 6-year-old to steal his mother's purse. Things get stranger when Brand forces the kid to beg with his hands out and recite: "Can I have some mo', please?" We're fine, thanks.
5. Most Disturbing Charade: An already weird game of charades ("The world's best rapper?" "Brad Pitt!") takes a very dark turn on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills when new girl Brandi Glanville confronts her supposed teammates, sisters Kyle and Kim Richards. Brandi calls Kyle a "b----" for making her go first. Kim calls Brandi a ho for wearing short-shorts. Brandi accuses Kim of being drunk. And so on. And we thought the dinner parties in the 90210 were treacherous!
4. Best Musical Performance: When Penny has to confront her mom (guest star Megan Mullally) about her recent divorce on Happy Endings, her mom makes her do it in song so as to preserve their vocal chords for their big duet the following evening. The result is equal parts humorous, heartfelt and harmonious, as Penny sings about not knowing she was evicted when she was 9 and Mommie Dearest serenades her about the advantages of knowing how to make a garbage can fire. Sure, Glee has great choreography and fancy costumes, but Lea Michele could never give a garbage can fire the same gravitas.
3. Best Delivery: Parenthood fans are forced to reach for the Kleenex not once but twice during Tuesday's episode. First, Kristina gives birth to a beautiful baby girl named Nora (with the help of clueless dad Crosby), but then, just as Julia is admiring pictures of her new niece, the doorbell rings and co-worker Zoe is standing in the doorway, unexpectedly offering Julia and Joel her unborn child. Don't worry, Nora, Baby's First Friend is on the way!
2. The Writing's on the Wall Award: The Ringer producers weren't joking when they said if you find out Bridget's secret, you'll probably die. Siobhan's best friend Gemma, with whose husband Siobhan was having an affair, learns the truth about Bridget and it backfires when we see a bloody struggle that appears to signify Gemma's end. Whether she's actually dead, though, remains to be seen.
1. Most Mind-Blowing Death: Breaking Bad's gripping Season 4 finale is full of tense beats and a game-changing revelation (Walt did poison Brock!), but nothing trumps everyone's favorite meth kingpin Gus Fring emerging from a bomb blast seemingly OK, affirming our belief that he is indestructible. But a slow camera turn reveals that half of his face has been blown off. Just before he drops dead, Gus, in his trademark meticulous, calm and icy-cool demeanor, straightens his tie for one last time. It is absurd, but fitting. Chickens still run around after their heads have been cut off, and so does the Chicken Man. RIP, Gus.
What were your top moments?