The Machine Reviews

Bert Kreischer is considered one of the best storytellers of his generation. He is also known as a partier and one of the top grossing stand-up comics in the industry. He adds executive producer to that list of achievements with the action comedy "The Machine" which is based on his actual story of being involved with a train robbery in Russia.The movie stars Kreischer (Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle) as the titular character, as well as Mark Hamill (Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope), Jimmy Tatro (American Vandal), Iva Babic (The Last Serb in Croatia), Robert Maaser (Blood & Gold), Rita Bernard-Shaw (Catherine Called Birdy), and Nikola Djuricko (World War Z). It is directed by Peter Atencio, while Kevin Biegel and Scotty Landes wrote the script that brought Bert's legendary story to life.In the movie The Machine, Bert plays a fictionalized version of himself. While throwing his sixteen-year-old daughter a birthday party, he and his father (Hamill) are kidnapped by Irina (Babic), a Russian mobster who wants Bert to give her back a priceless heirloom he stole from her father during a train robbery that occurred twenty years prior. This train robbery, which was committed by a legendary man nicknamed The Machine, has become folklore in Russia. Irina, Bert, and his father Albert go back to Russia in order to track the heirloom as Bert retraces his footsteps and meets with old friends and foes.The movie is set in modern day with frequent flashbacks showing a younger version of himself (played by Tatro) going through the events of the famous story. Bert Kreischer and Jimmy Tatro do an excellent job playing Bert in different stages of his party-animal life. They are equally as charming as they are uncouth. Babic embodies Russian mobster Irina perfectly: a scary cold-blooded killer but also a woman struggling to make it in a male-dominated business.Those who have heard the story of "The Machine" from Kreischer's stand-up routine, might be surprised to see there is a heartwarming message behind the movie. One of unconditional love between father and child, and also the importance of balancing the different versions of oneself. Bert learns that he doesn't have to put away his party-animal hat; he just needs to learn how to balance the important parts of his life. That being said, the second message is a little lost in the shuffle despite being mentioned a few times during the film. In addition, some of the subplots are forgotten while others feel a little thin: Bert's relationship with his older daughter, the budding relationship between young Bert and former classmate Ashley (Bernard-Shaw), and injuries are all-but-forgotten after their respective scenes end.The movie starts off a little slow, setting the stage with the struggling family man version of Bert. Once they are kidnapped, however, the action ramps up quickly. Throughout the movie, the pacing is a little off and a few scenes feel as though they run too long. There is often a disconnect between stand-up performances and theatrical movies in that people who have watched a stand-up routine might expect the same sort of tempo and cadence in a theatrical release. However, sometimes the transition doesn't work when writers take one of those stories and stretch it to fill two hours. The Machine is a valiant effort from those involved, and while the jokes might feel a little sparse and the pacing off, it is still an enjoyable time (though, perhaps not necessarily theater-price-worthy). The movie isn't for everyone, but fans of Bert Kreischer will enjoy his performance and the creative liberties taken with his iconic story.