Fresh Horses Reviews

FRESH HORSES is a completely worthless rehashing of PRETTY PINK in which Ringwald and McCarthy essay mirror images of their former Hughes-penned characters. Ringwald is a 16-year-old, barely literate young thing whose stepfather molested her until she married a gun-totin' good ol' boy Mortensen, with whom she has ostensibly never had sex. Along comes McCarthy, a fairly likable rich kid with equally rich friends (hmm, sound familiar?), who is preoccupied with college and his upcoming marriage to a whiny, prissy debutante (Peacock). But lo and behold, when McCarthy meets Ringwald, it's love at first sight. At first, their romance is heavenly bliss, but then McCarthy starts hearing rumors about his flawed Jewel (her character's name). Just in case there weren't already enough mindless, predictable, fill-in-the-blanks films on America's movie screens, along came this dull piece of drivel, which is based on a fairly well respected New York play but misses on all counts. Surprisingly, the film comes from Anspaugh, who directed the insightful and intelligent HOOSIERS. It's rather hard to pinpoint just how and when FRESH HORSES starts to misfire--it all seems to fall apart at once--but contributing elements certainly include the hilariously contrived dialog; the total lack of chemistry between Ringwald and McCarthy (they didn't have much in PRETTY IN PINK, either); Ringwald's unsuccessful portrayal of a sultry bumpkin, in which she tends to lose her accent when emotions run high; and the fact that one never believes for a moment that Matt even likes Jewel, much less that he is willing to throw away his entire existence because of his uncontrollable obsession. The film is ostensibly about such passion, but passion is what FRESH HORSES lacks most. The film's only saving graces are D'Arbanville, as a sad middle-aged surrogate mother to Jewel, and Hutchison, a newcomer whose sleazy but fascinating character deserves a film all to himself.