Fast Food Reviews

After a particularly confused opening, FAST FOOD becomes little more than a humorless "comedy" about a war between fast food establishments. Auggie (Clark Brandon), an opportunistic college senior at Hopkins University and his buddy Drew (Randal Patrick) are tossed out of college for running a scam. Meanwhile, "Wrangler Bob" (Jim Varney), the vicious owner of a successful chain of hamburger joints, is determined to take over the gas station run by their pretty friend, Samantha (Tracy Griffith), and turn it into a hamburger joint. Auggie comes up with a scheme to save the station. Along the way (and a very long way it sometimes seems), FAST FOOD throws in unrelated elements that are clearly directed at box-office appeal: wet T-shirt contests, a secret sauce laced with a powerful aphrodisiac, and an on-again, off-again romance. Without providing a single laugh in the film's entire 92-minute running time, Brandon and Lanny Horn's lame screenplay also fails to capture the sort of tastelessness that proved so successful for PORKY'S and POLICE ACADEMY. Likewise the acting in the film is neither capable nor camp. To its credit the film is remarkably well photographed by Bill Mills, and John D. Allen's editing is also assured.