The Bernie Mac Show
Bernie Mac is a world famous stand-up comedian living the good life in his Los Angeles home complete with beautiful wife, Wanda, and a hi-tech SUV. Life was sweet for the Mac-Man. Then one day, Bernie's sister, in Chicago, is sent to rehab for drug use and her three children: teenage Vanessa, asthmatic wheezing Jordan and sweet, innocent Bryana, are put into Bernie's custody. Raising kids is hard! Especially these kids. They always give poor Uncle Bernie trouble, making him want to "bust their heads 'til the white meat shows".
- 2001-2006
- 5 seasons
- Fox Network
- Comedy, Drama, Family
- TV-PG
Bernie Mac is a world famous stand-up comedian living the good life in his Los Angeles home complete with beautiful wife, Wanda, and a hi-tech SUV. Life was sweet for the Mac-Man. Then one day, Bernie's sister, in Chicago, is sent to rehab for drug use and her three children: teenage Vanessa, asthmatic wheezing Jordan and sweet, innocent Bryana, are put into Bernie's custody. Raising kids is hard! Especially these kids. They always give poor Uncle Bernie trouble, making him want to "bust their heads 'til the white meat shows".
Season 5 Episode Guide
22 Episodes 2005 - 2006
Episode 1
Father Knows Best
Fri, Sep 23, 2005 22 mins
When a man arrives from Chicago claiming to be Bryana's father, Bernie is cautiously supportive.
Episode 2
Wrestling with a Sticky Situation
Fri, Sep 23, 2005 21 mins
Jordan joins the wrestling team and wins matches by default because there's no one in his size/weight range to battle. But Bernie Mac doesn't know this.
Episode 3
Marathon Mac
Fri, Sep 30, 2005 22 mins
Upset that the kids are dropping out of their extra curricular activities Bernie Mac decides to run in a marathon, but its much harder than he thought. In the end, Vanessa takes his place.
Episode 4
The Big Payback
Fri, Oct 7, 2005 22 mins
Upset that Vanessa is living the free life, Bernie Mac has Vanessa work for him. Shortly, after wards Vanessa learns that his co-workers get all this free stuff because they mention they work for Bernie Mac. Vanessa takes big advantage of this, until Bernie Mac finds out. Later on, Vanessa has to bring one of his precious statues home but it breaks in a car accident. Jordan offers to fix it, with of course a price (some of the free stuff Vanessa got).
Episode 5
Car Wars
Fri, Oct 21, 2005 22 mins
Vanessa gets a used car and his this boy named Curtis fix it up. But Bernie Mac thinks that Curtis has more on his mind. So he pays Bryana to spy on the two. Meanwhile, Jordan and two friends pretend to go to a Star Wars convention with the intention of going to a concert to be with girls.
Episode 6
Night of Terror
Fri, Oct 28, 2005 21 mins
Jordan turns 13, but still acts like a monster fighting with Bryana. Eventually Jordan lets Bryana walk all over him to avoid further punishment. When he gets his gifts back, Bernie holds back an R-rated movie. Later when Bernie asks Jordan to babysit Bryana one night, Jordan accepts just so he can watch the R-rated movie behind his back.
Episode 7
For Whom the Belt Tolls
Fri, Nov 4, 2005 22 mins
The kids finally cross Aunt Wanda's line while Bernie's away. Bernie gives Aunt Wanda "Big Mama's Belt" to keep them in line. The kids wind up fearing her even more than Bernie Mac.
Episode 8
Pop Pop Goes the Weasel
Fri, Nov 11, 2005 22 mins
When Bryana's father, Bryan (Anthony Anderson), visits, he threatens Bernie's relationship with Jordan and undermines Bernie's barbecuing techniques.
Episode 9
Prison Break
Fri, Nov 18, 2005 22 mins
After misbehaving yet again, Bernie punishes Bryana and Jordan severely. Yet again Wanda thinks he's being too hard on them. But in the end, she catches on. Vanessa turns out to be the sneakiest of them all.
Episode 10
Some Church Bull
Fri, Dec 2, 2005 22 mins
In an effort to bring family members closer together, Wanda insists they participate in the annual parish retreat.
Episode 11
Sorely Missed
Fri, Dec 16, 2005 22 mins
Bernie and Wanda seriously discuss adopting the children as their own.
Episode 12
Fumes of Detente
Fri, Jan 6, 2006 21 mins
When Wanda invites Tasha, Vanessa's best friend from Chicago, to stay with them, Bernie is worried he will have another difficult teen in his house.
Episode 13
Exercise in Fertility: Part 1
Fri, Jan 13, 2006 22 mins
After several failed attempts, Bernie and Wanda realize that making a baby is harder than they thought, and Wanda begins to question their fertility.
Episode 14
Exercise in Fertility: Part 2
Fri, Jan 20, 2006 22 mins
Bernie and Wanda have undertaken fertility treatments. Wanda suffers from mood swings due to hormonal issues. Distracted with the idea of having a child the couple neglect to stay on top of the kids they already have. Vanessa shares her experience with babies joining a family. She explains the baby will be Bernie's own baby girl, or his son. Everyone will have to adjust, and one will be replaced. Bernie and Wanda adjust to ups and downs with treatment, having to ride out extreme highs, lows, hopes, fears, and consider how committed they have to be to the process, rife with physical and emotional challenges. Jordan and baby girl attempt to regress to reinforce their positions in the family. When Bernie is unwilling to repeat previously bonding activities, they fear Vanessa is correct, someone is to be replaced.
Episode 15
Fantasy Football
Fri, Jan 27, 2006 22 mins
Jordan and Bernie Mac start a fantasy football league but do poor; and Bernie Mac won't really listen to Jordan. With that, Jordan eventually goes to a different league secretly behind Bernie Mac's back. Vanessa primps herself up with make-up for her senior photo. Bryana wants some of the make up too, so Vanessa gives her some of her old makeup. But Bryana gets caught with it at school.
Episode 16
Bar Mitzvah Crashers
Fri, Feb 3, 2006 22 mins
After a Jewish family arrive in the neighborhood, Bernie urges Jordan to befriending the son, David. Though hesitant at first Jordan begins to develop a friendship with his new neighbor. Not long after-wards David invites Jordan to attend his cousin's bar mitzvahs with him. After receiving various expensive parting gifts Jordan and David decide to crash bar mitzvahs of people to whom they do not know in order to receive more gifts. Before long it's time for David's bar mitzvahs but Jordan comes to a dilemma because this happens to be the same day of a very wealthy boy's bar mitzvahs. So Jordan must beside between friendship or material possessions.
Episode 17
Who's Your Mama?
Fri, Mar 31, 2006 22 mins
Baby girls daddy Brian helps out around the house and the kids start preferring him over their Uncle Bernie causing Bernie Mac to take offense. Baby girl gets called flat chested at school and Brian and Bernie fight over who gets to buy her a new bra. Jordan competes for best smile at school.
Episode 18
What Would Jason Do?
Fri, Mar 31, 2006 22 mins
Vanessa's school prom is coming up so Bernie Mac picks a boy friend out for her (after doing his usual protective background check). Even after he chooses, he has all these worried fantasies. Bryana injures her ankle so Jordan has to be her servant, but in the end after Bryana took it a bit far Jordan gets some redemption.
Episode 19
It's Never as Bad as the First Time
Fri, Apr 7, 2006 22 mins
Jordan dates Erica, one of the cheerleaders at school. Bernie is delighted, but when Jordan and Erica break up, he tries to remedy the situation.
Episode 20
Spinning Wheels
Fri, Apr 7, 2006 22 mins
Wanda's sister visits and wants to throw a roller-disco party for Wanda's birthday.
Episode 21
Growing Pains
Fri, Apr 14, 2006 22 mins
Bernie makes Vanessa prove she can manage her money.
Episode 22
Bernie's Angels
Fri, Apr 14, 2006 22 mins
The kids' carelessness causes Bernie to have a near-death experience.