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The Masked Singer's Llama Is Your Grandma's Favorite Game Show Host

He rocks, but couldn't rock hard enough

malcolmvenable.jpg
Malcolm Venable

After last week's shocking reveal that none other than Weezy F Baby, aka Lil Wayne, was the robot on The Masked Singer, this cheesy celebration of kookiness has upped its street cred by a thousand and proved it's all about that celeb life, for real. Producers have huffed and puffed a lot about how big-name stars have been clamoring to get on, soif the rap star who gave us one of the most memorable quotes of the 2000s -- who can forget "I am a gangster, Miss Katie"?! -- is game to stick a robot head over his dreads in the name of fun, we might be in for some truly stunning surprises. Dolly Parton? Ben Affleck? Blue Ivy? Logic and reason no longer apply in this inverted reality, where the only thing we know for sure is that none of them are Jason Biggs, who was guest-hosting. Llama got unmasked, reveling a beloved household name.

Llama
Wow! After butchering "She Bangs" last week, it was all but certain Llama isn't a professional singer. While it's clear no one pays him to sing, when he took on Tom Jones "It's Not Unusual" he sounded pretty fantastic. He's definitely a performer.
Week 2 clues: He played the accordion on stage in front of a big audience -- a hint he could be a really big comedian. He said he had to often think on his feet. There was a hint about yoga, and when asked what his superlative would be in the Class of 2020, he said he was voted most likely to be firing cannons, whatever that means!
Week 1 clues: We saw him in a radio station, 23.3 The Wool; a bull on the wall; a Buddha statue; and two playing cards signaling the ace of spades; an album titled Songs of Seattle; and a Jay-Z impersonation that said he might be a comedian.
The guesses: Johnny Knoxville's name came up, again. Ken Jeong suggested Joel McHale -- which would make sense if hadn't been on the show as a judge already, so nah. Jenny McCarthy, Masked Singer savant, said Zach Galifianakis. Nicole Scherzinger said Woody Harrelson or Matthew McConaughey.

The Masked Singer

The Masked Singer

Fox

Miss Monster
Miss Monster sang "Fancy" by Bobbie Gentry, and listen -- by now everybody ought to know this is the legendary Chaka Khan, so it's just a matter of time before we get up under that fur and confirm what everybody on Twitter has already guessed. Ken said, "I feel like I'm in the presence of an icon," and boy, you better say that!
Week 2 clues: There was a nod to Titanic, with Miss Monster drawing Season 1 Monster in repose, like in an art class. We saw a queen chess piece. She said she's capable of anything and full of love. She said she'd be most likely to be in the presence of a queen when asked what her superlative would be, and that makes no sense, but whatever. The clues really are harder this season!
Week 1 clues: She said she started off shy, and that it didn't take long for her to be misunderstood. We saw her using hairspray and lipstick, and we saw her at a locker bearing the number 10.
The guesses: Jenny said Mary Wilson of the Supremes. Jason said Priscilla Presley, and Ken Jeong had the gall to say Celine Dion. Ken doesn't know his divas, and it's upsetting.

*

The White Tiger
White Tiger loves some '90s hits! Last week he did "Ice Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice, and with Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch's "Good Vibrations" this week, White Tiger confirmed that he's a bro's bro who bros hard in the club, bro. He danced too, but hopefully you looked away during that part because it hurt the eyes. Anyway, he sounds a lot like Rob Gronkowski.
Week 2 clues: He was in a library, again. We saw a poster of a cow on skis. He turned on a boom box and said dancing helps him heal his body. He opened what resembled a piñata, and feathers and confetti came out. He said he literally went to the mat for a friend.
Week 1 clues: He's tall!His clue package showed pads being placed on his body, like a football player, and he said he's chased perfection his whole life. We saw a trophy for clam-chucking. A sign read Masked Singer tryouts 5/3 male; another had presidents on it and said "Four score and seven years ago." The whole package took place inside a high school, and we saw Tiger in the library.
The guesses:
Robin Thicke used his degree in football studies to make a compelling case for this being Rob Gronkowski or Charles Haley, but the former obviously makes more sense. Someone else said it's Hulk Hogan.

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Kangaroo
Oh, Kangaroo. Amy Winehouse sat up in her grave and covered her ghost ears when she heard this version of "You Know I'm No Good," but it's fine. Kangaroo is feeling good again, and that's all that matters.
Week 2 clues: She said it's scary to be in the spotlight again. We saw a bunch of beauty products, including nail polish, and she played basketball against some dudes all sporting number 23. She said she had a little one. She said she was most likely to be on a list with Seal and Mike Tyson.
Week 1 clues:She said she's a survivor, that she lost someone recently and had to bounce back. We saw her in a desert-type environment with a sign that read "Outback." She's been in the spotlight for all the wrong reasons. We saw a gramophone.
The guesses: WNBA player Candace Parker and Tatiana Ali got mentioned, and Ken said Gabrielle Union, which isn't horrible but definitely wrong, wrong, wrong!

The Masked Singer

The Masked Singer

Fox


The Turtle
The competition's best singer so far, Turtle did "Say You Won't Go" by James Arthur. I didn't pay to watch this, but he was so good I felt like I should, so I made a donation to the Turtle Foundation. (Okay, I almost did.) But the point is Turtle is a wonderful singer.
Week 2 clues: He dropped a tray of food and pulled the fire alarm in the cafeteria, saying he wanted to rebel against expectations. He was writing "Don't Ever Rave at School" on a chalkboard, and said he'll sing whatever he wants before grabbing his inflatable guitar. He said he was most likely to hunt for booty... like a pirate?
Week 1 clues: We saw him on a track, competing against guys wearing bunny ears. He was holding a surfboard and said he's always taken it "step by step." Then, we saw him at a grill, making burgers. He said he wants to make a big splash.
The Guesses: Ken said AJ McLean. Robin said Billy Joe Armstrong, and Nicole said Zac Efron, but probably just because she likes hot guys.

In the end, Llama had to gallop on home, and he was revealed to be Drew Carey!

The Masked Singer airs Wednesdays 8/7c.