Do not drink the water in Homestead. Better still, don't swim, bathe or even look at agua in this neck of the woods. Stay out of the water. Take Mariel's tripping out every time she runs a faucet. Or consider Jesse and Kira, who go exploring in an upside-down camper that is half submerged in a swamp. (They should have checked in first with Uncle Dave, who is well versed in what lurks in those dark waters). But alas, Jesse learns the painful, glass-shattering way he is hurled clear across the trailer by a creature from beneath.

And here is where my suspension of disbelief is suddenly suspended. Jesse is still alive when his dad comes to rescue him a good while later. By now, the trailer is practically underwater, and it should follow that Jesse would drown. But no, he of course floats to the single air pocket in the entire place. Still, he hasn't escaped unscathed. Did you note the puncture wounds on his back? They're suspiciously similar to the "12 prods" in Dave's leg, in the skeleton that was in the car trunk and in the missing Air Force officer.

Uncle Dave delivers the goods, as usual. Hung up on the conspiracy theory of Hurricane Eve being a "smoke screen," he investigates the wedding band that remains from the trunk corpse. Now, let's overlook the obvious connection to the evil sheriff, which I called within minutes. More important is Dave's utter cluelessness about the inscription "Two become one." "Do you think that means something?" he muses. Not always the brightest in the bunch, that Dave Vanessa Rothschild

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