Is there nothing that television can't make us do? Britney Spears did her best impression of a pop star, making us doubt her icon status. She didn't say a word, but Katie Couric — for a moment — made us forget the real news. And Christina Aguilera did what we thought was impossible: She made us fall in love with the Grammys again. Check out our Top Moments of the week:
10. Best Inside Joke: On Boston Legal, Betty White's Catherine Piper sues television networks for discriminating against viewers outside the 18-34 demographic. Her lawyer, Carl Sack (John Larroquette) gets a little self-referential in summarizing the case: "In fact, the only show that features adults over 50 as their leads is Bo — well, I can't say that because it will break down the wall."
9. Worst Death: Feel free to call us hypocrites, but we're none too pleased with Elle's death at Sylar's hand on Heroes. Yes, we've repeatedly said the show needs to kill off a few characters, but we didn't mean Elle! Producers, listen up: Your next victim should definitely be a little less awesome and a lot more Maya. Watch it with our Online Video Guide here.
8. Scariest Abduction: Has Dexter finally met his match? Sunday's episode left us hanging, with the Miami PD spatter specialist whisked away in the back of a serial killer's SUV — all thanks to the dark masterminding of Miguel Prado (Jimmy Smits). With only two episodes left in the season, will Dexter make it to the altar?
7. Most Romantic Use of Pastrami: Just when we were starting to think Will on Privileged wasn't worthy of Megan, the rich dude nuts up and surprises his brand-new girlfriend with a "Christmas trip" to New York City, complete with pastrami on rye, street-cart chestnuts and a scaled-down Rockefeller Center tree. Not bad. Watch full episodes with our Online Video Guide.
6. Best Backfire: Gossip Girl's Chuck and Blair make a bet to pick the perfect date for each other for the Snowflake Ball. If Chuck wins, he gets Derota (Blair's maid) for a month, and if Blair wins, she gets Chuck's limo for a month. Of course, neither wins. Instead, their doppelganger dates end up sucking face with each other. Watch it here with our Online Video Guide.
5. Most Inevitable Breakup: On Samantha Who?, our girl is determined to break things off with saintly philanthropist Owen — but finds it hard to do while he's holding a baby lamb he's nursing back to health. Some things just aren't meant to be. Watch full episodes with our Online Video Guide.
4. Best Haircut/Lamest News Story: Stay with us on this one. With international affairs crazy, automakers seeking gazillions in taxpayer dollars, and investors cowering behind the shed like scared dogs, Katie Couric draws notice for unveiling a new 'do. We kind of like it, but still.
3. Crazy Grossest Moment of the Week: On Fringe (where else would we find the Crazy Grossest Moment of the Week?), a man involved in a bank heist uses a computer to disrupt the matter in the vault door. He walks through the wall, but on his way out gets stuck half inside the door and half outside. Another robber shoots him in the head. Second Crazy Grossest Moment of the Week: On the same episode, Walter lops off the dead guy's arm with a saw. Watch the full episode with our Online Video Guide here.
2. Most Anticipated Musical Performance: Britney Spears celebrates her 27th birthday with a Good Morning America performance of her new songs "Circus" and "Womanizer." Any live singing? Not so much. Dancing? Only if hand movements count. But Spears reveals she'll kick off a world tour in March, and after the year she's had, we've got to give her credit. Watch her performance here with our Online Video Guide.
1. Best Musical Performance: At the 2008 Grammy Nominations Concert, Britney's former rival and fellow Mouseketeer, Christina Aguilera, classes up the joint with a lovely performance of "I Loves You Porgy," billed as a tribute to the inimitable Nina Simone. We like the whole idea of a concert to announce the nominations so much that we're going to use the following phrase for the first time anyone's used it ever: Well done, Grammys! Check it out here with our Online Video Guide.
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