Who didn't get grievously injured on television this week? Gunshots rang out on One Tree Hill, Gossip Girl, Grey's Anatomy and Law & Order: SVU. CSI had a stabbing, while Miley Cyrus murdered good taste on Dancing with the Stars. (Thank God romance still has a fighting chance on The Office and House.) Welcome to Top Moments: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang Edition.
15. Best Lie: When Breaking Bad's Skyler offers to pay Hank's physical therapy bills, Walt sits terrified that she's going to reveal his meth-manufacturing business. Instead, she constructs a complicated story about Walt's "gambling addiction" that has now made the family rich. When Walt asks how Skyler was able to concoct such an elaborate scheme, she delivers the gut punch: "I learned from the best," she says.
14. Best Stabbing: No guns for CSI for a change. When Langston visits serial killer Nate Haskell to thank him for his help in catching Dr. Jekyll, Haskell reaches through his cell bars and repeatedly stabs Langston. The season ends with him bleeding out on the floor.
13. Not-So-Happy Ending: The One Tree Hill season finale was mostly happy — until the final scene, that is. Crazy stalker Katie surprises Quinn with a gun and shoots her and Clay. Thankfully, the CW renewed the show. That would've been a downer of a series finale.
12. Worst Metaphor: Miley Cyrus brings a birdcage and a feathered costume to Dancing with the Stars to perform her new single, "Can't Be Tamed," for the first time. We're not sure which is worse: the really bad lip-synching or her attempts to be sexy while surrounded by so many bales of hay. It's for the birds.
11. Most Shocking Shooting: In the Law & Order: SVU season finale, French actress Isabelle Huppert guest-stars as a distraught mother mourning the death of her son. She creates a hostage situation when she grabs a gun and inadvertently puts a bullet in ME Warner.
10. Most Predictable Season Finale: After losing on Survivor: Samoa because of his aggressive tactics, Russell Hantz makes it to the final Tribal Council and loses again, this time not receiving a single vote. Russell argues that the game needs to make some major changes, but we think Russell just has a case of sour grapes.
9. Sacre Bleu! Award: After Blair rejects Chuck on the Gossip Girl season finale, he flees to Paris — only to be mugged. Refusing to give up the engagement ring he bought for B., he's shot and left for dead. But is he dead? Come on, he's Chuck Bass.
8. Best Development: Avery Jessup, Jack's cable-ready vixen, is pregnant! For a show that values laughs over story lines, 30 Rock was pretty soapy this week. Who do you think Jack should have chosen: Avery or Nancy?
7. Best Non-Surprise: When Ryan Murphy cast Idina Menzel as ruthless Vocal Adrenaline coach Shelby Corcoran on Glee, it was hard not to notice her resemblance to Lea Michele. We knew Shelby had ulterior motives, but we didn't expect it to be that she wants to have a relationship with Rachel, the daughter she gave up for adoption.
6. Best Face Time: After Jack drinks from Jacob's cup and becomes the Lost island's protector, his usually tense visage relaxes into a content mask of omniscience. He's the boss now, and it shows on his face.
5. Best Comeuppance: After years of dealing with President Logan's shenanigans, Jack finally gets the upper hand on 24 when he dons full-on riot gear and gasses Logan's security detail so he can deliver a strongly worded message/threat to the corrupt pol, who he suspects of conspiring to kill Renee Walker. Fortunately, his message is punctuated by his fists.
4. Best Doppelgänger: Olivia's "over-there" twin is funny, sexy, even a bit devious. So it's no surprise that Fringe's cliff-hanger involves a sneaky switcheroo in which over-there Olivia (let's call her No-livia) impersonates our heroine and hitches a ride back to our world, while Walternate holds Agent Dunham hostage inside his creepy defense-department funhouse.
3. Most Shocking Violence: Disgruntled widower Gary Clark crashes the Grey's Anatomy finale, skulking around Seattle Grace looking for Derek. When a distracted Reed gets a little mouthy with him, he shoots her right between the eyes. Her sudden, bloody death sets the tone for the nail-biting episode, which features a host of other deaths and injuries.
2. Best Last-Minute Cliff-hanger: Michael helps Jo by reading a statement to the press about the printer recall on The Office. When she asks how she can repay him, he jokes that she could transfer Holly back from Nashua. "I'll see what I can do," Jo says. She understands that Holly's his soup-snake!
1. Most Overdue Kiss: On House, just as the cranky doc is about to pop a Vicodin to ease his pain, Cuddy arrives, still in her scrubs, to tell him she broke off her engagement with Lucas and, oh, by the way, she loves him. "I wish I didn't, but I can't help it," she says. They then kiss. And it's not a dream. Finally.