The Walking Dead pulled off its best episode of the season on Sunday, and if there's one thing Rick's group can all agree on, it's that Negan (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) — bless his disgusting potty mouth and revolting swagger — is a pretty lousy person and everyone would be better off if he was dead. Not only did he kill Glenn (Steven Yeun) and Abraham (Michael Cudlitz), force Alexandria into servitude, flaunt misogyny and kidnap Daryl (Norman Reedus), but he's kind of an overall jerk in general.
Since Rick (Andrew Lincoln) has taken a stance of kowtowing to Negan and doing nothing, others have concocted their own ingenious plans to take out Negan — most of which revolve around the central idea of "walk into the Sanctuary and kill Negan." "Sing Me a Song" saw many of these characters show off their murderous intent as they pressed forward to rid the world of Negan once and for all, setting up a possible "Who Killed Mr. Burns?" scenario with multiple suspects all individually looking to kill Negan on their own.
But how well thought out are these plans? Let's review these murderous schemes one by one and give our verdict.
Rosita (Christian Serratos) — looking to avenge Abraham's death — was smart enough to go hunt down a gun when Rick handed all the ones they had over to Negan like a good boy. Since guns are good at killing people, this is a pretty good idea! Rosita has an edge over the others because she has the firepower, but there's one (okay, several) foil in Rosita's plan: Guns need bullets, and Alexandria had no bullets. To get around this, she had Eugene make her a single bullet, as he showed an aptitude for crafting munitions previously.
And here's where she hit another roadblock. The one bullet thing. On a fifth-grade level, symbolically this makes sense as it hammers home the idea that you literally only get one shot at Negan, so make it count. Personally, I'm pretty sure guns carry more than one bullet, so it would behoove Rosita to bring in a full magazine as there are thousands of reasons why taking just one bullet is a bad idea. Among them, she could miss on her first shot, she may need to deal with the roughly 100 henchmen that Negan has at his beck and call, misplace that lone bullet (who hasn't lost a bullet?) or you know, it's a good idea to be prepared.
Verdict: She gets an 'A' for intent, but a 'D' for execution. This plan will not work.
In "Sing Me a Song" Michonne (Danai Gurira) made a cool speed bump out of walker parts and forcibly hitchhiked in a Savior's car when the unsuspecting woman came to the undead lump in the road. In a front-seat scuffle, Michonne slammed the poor woman's face into the steering wheel and took her gun, which accomplished two things: It made the lady Savior realize who was boss and also got Michonne a gun. And I bet this one has more than one bullet! She's probably improvising her way into the Sanctuary, but given that she has a hostage and a gun with more than one bullet, she's in a better spot than Rosita. Plus, she's Michonne, and Michonne is one badass!
Verdict: Storming a heavily guarded compound with no backup that's almost certain death aside, this is shaping up to be one of the more reasonable KILL NEGAN plans.
We've actually seen most of Carl's (Chandler Riggs) plan so far. And it probably could have used some more time in the workshop. Carl, who is still upset that Negan used permanent marker on his arm, stowed away in a Savior supply truck and planned to... I'm not sure, jump out of the truck and then shoot Negan? It went something like this:
He actually had the chance to shoot Negan but instead killed two of Negan's men before getting tackled by Dwight. Now he's being treated like a stepson by Negan, who's using Carl to get under Rick's skin. Carl also had a chance to bash in Negan's brains with Lucille, but didn't take it. For a kid who was on a suicide mission with one goal, he's not doing a very good job.
But I have a free idea for you Carl. Find a poisonous snake, put it in your empty eye socket, and when Negan wants to have another look at that gross hole in your face, the snake will bite him on the nose and your job will be done.
Verdict: We give Carl zero chance of killing Negan if he keeps this up. But on the other hand, Carl is in the best position to kill Negan if he can figure something out.
No one knows what the heck Rick is doing, but the best we can hope for is that he's pulling off the old rope-a-dope on Negan and feigning subservience in order to lure Negan into a false sense of security, at which point Rick will rip Negan's head off with his bare hands and reassume his place as rightful maniac leader of Alexandria and his flock. The worst we can hope for? Rick's spine has shriveled and he really is Negan's little errand boy.
Let's go with Plan A though, and assume Rick is biding time until it's appropriate to take Negan out. We have no doubts that he'd get this plan done, but the big problem is not letting anyone else on his secret. In the time it takes Rick to find the right moment to turn on Negan, Carl, Rosita, Michonne, Daryl and Jesus could all die. Time's running out, Rick.
Verdict: It's great for dramatic effect, but it's not practical. This plan has too many potential casualties, and who wants to spend any more time getting toiletries for the Saviors?
Ninja Jesus (Tom Payne) is just on a recon mission to investigate the Sanctuary, but he's at least shown sound mind when figuring out how he's going to get in. He snuck in a truck — the same one Carl was in — and realized that he better not be there when the shutter doors open and he's surrounded by Negan's men. *cough Carl cough*
Creating a maple syrup trail to track where the truck was going was genius, jumping and rolling out of the moving vehicle and taking advantage of driver blind spots was well thought out and hiding on top of a truck as it entered the compound was one of the better visuals of the episode (never mind the fact that Negan has people on watch towers who could have easily seen him). If we like going anyone on a covert mission to kill Negan, it's Ninja Jesus.
Verdict: In Jesus we trust!
The Walking Dead airs Sunday nights at 9/8c on AMC. The midseason finale premieres Sunday, Dec. 11 at 8/9c.