Perhaps hardest hit by news of the Simpson-Lachey split were Kimberly Stewart (aka Rod's daughter and the poor man's Paris) and her now-ex-fiancé, Laguna Beach himbo Talan Torriero. In a statement found in a fortune cookie and then issued by their flaks, the pair suggested that "it is better to have a brief engagement than a short marriage." Ah, if only Renée and Kenny had had a yen for General Tsao's chicken, too.