Jessica Lange Jessica Lange

What a sick little show American Horror Story turned out to be. Ludicrous from top to bottom, from haunted attic to cellar, from start to finish, as the population of ghosts in the Murder House grew nearly as large as the Downton Abbey estate. In the finale, it was finally Ben Harmon's turn to die, after being warned by Constance (Jessica Lange, always the best thing in this wacky series) to take the surviving baby and run. "How can you still be so blind?" she shrieked. (We've been saying that all season.) He did try to escape, after flirting briefly with suicide (and pulled back from the brink by the ghost of his long-suffering wife), but the bad ghosts got him, hanging him from the chandelier and turning him into one of their own. And so the ill-fated addle-brained Harmons end up quasi-happily ever after in the hereafter.

In the show's one clever twist, the Harmons (Ben, Vivien, Violet) join forces to become ghostly ghost-busters, scaring away the new family that moved in, Beetlejuice-style. Didn't see that coming. And in a three-years-later flash-forward, Constance is now raising the Demon Spawn, who shows his true colors by slaughtering the nanny and grinning through the blood as Constance clucks, "Now what am I going to do with you?" If Season 2 is going to be Jessica Lange-Meets-The Omen, and we can put that ridiculous Murder House in the rear-view mirror, that might actually be worth watching.

What did you think of the American Horror Story finale?

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