This is not meant to be an ...

Question: This is not meant to be an insult or anything, but people are talking at work about your weight. I thought you should know. I know it would upset you if you knew, but I know some friends here and outside work that have used a program that worked within weeks. I am not pushing anything on you, but thought it wouldn't hurt if you looked at it. I also think I am doing you a favor as it's always nice when people talk about how much better you look than how much you've been putting on. I hope I am not intruding, just trying to help out. My cousin and friend used this, and it helped a lot. Here is the site.

Answer: Thanks for the heads-up, Mark. You're right, this is extremely upsetting, although not entirely surprising. I noticed a lot of suspicious activity directed at me in recent weeks everything from whispering to giggling to outright pointing and laughing. I just assumed my coworkers were planning a surprise birthday party for me, but, thanks to you, now I know the ugly truth. Sigh... it's like high school all over again. (BTW, Mark, the link you sent me isn't working. Are you sure the URL is correct? I'm totally open to this new diet, especially if it helped both your cousin and your one friend. Also, if you have any information on how I might obtain a lower mortgage or meet "sexy friends" in my area, please forward that along as well.)