Game of Thrones has burned through more story in four episodes than it did in all of Season 6. Multiple people are dead, others have been captured by crazy pirates, and at least one beloved character's life is currently hanging in the balance.
Now that we've reached the midway point of the seventh season -- no, we can't believe it either -- it is time to once again assess where the show stands in all of its storylines, which may or may not be happening concurrently because the show doesn't care about or understand how time works. We have so many questions about what has already happened and what will happen in he weeks to come. Let's get to it!
1. Why is Bran such a dick now that he's the Three-Eyed Raven?
It's fair to say that no single character is the same person they were at the start of Game of Thrones, but the Starks have probably changed the most. Arya (Maisie Williams) has become a skilled assassin, Sansa (Sophie Turner) has been through the worst experiences imaginable and rose above them to become the Lady of Winterfell, and Jon (Kit Harington) has literally returned from the dead. (He still mumbles and broods a lot, but hey, there are only so many miracles that can happen to one character.) And yet, despite all of this, Bran's (Isaac Hempstead Wright) transformation into the Three-Eyed Raven is somehow the the most abrupt and unsettling.
For some reason, once Bran became an all-knowing being, he also lost every shred of his humanity. Upon reuniting with Sansa, he brought up the most traumatic moment of her life in casual conversation. When Meera (Ellie Kendrick) -- a character who most people forget about on a daily basis but who saved Bran's life and brought him back to Winterfell -- told him she was leaving to be with her family, he basically told her not to let the door hit her ass on the way out. What the damn hell, dude? Being the Three-Eyed Raven isn't a free pass to be an a--hole. At least pretend you care about the people who've risked their lives to save yours.
2. Did Jon draw those cave drawings himself just to convince Daenerys of the White Walkers?
Look, we're not saying that we actually think Jon spent the last few days (weeks? months? Who the hell knows how much time has passed?) carving crude drawings into the caves of Dragonstone in an attempt to convince Daenerys (Emilia Clarke) of the existence of White Walkers, but we're not not saying it either. Because if he did, that's honestly kind of brilliant? You would have to admire his dedication and the ingenuity of it all, because Dany did appear, for the first time since Jon arrived at Dragonstone, to believe him. And it would mean that Jon is finally at least pretending to play the game instead of merely looking handsome while brooding on a picturesque cliff overlooking the sea like he's Aidan Turner in Poldark.
3. Why did Littlefinger give Bran the dagger?
Littlefinger (Aidan Gillen) is a curious character who's almost certainly reached the end of his usefulness -- we won't be surprised if he bites it by the end of this season -- but what was his goal in giving Bran the dagger that was meant to kill him in Season 1? Everything Littlefinger does he does with a specific purpose in mind, but the best we can figure is that the writers needed to find a way to get the dagger -- which is made from Valyrian steel and therefore can kill White Walkers -- from Littlefinger to Arya and this was their best attempt. If this is true, that was some really clunky storytelling, y'all.
4. Will Theon ever be fully redeemed?
One of the highlights of "The Spoils of War" -- and there were many -- was the totally awkward reunion between Jon and Theon (Alfie Allen) when the latter arrived at Dragonstone to ask for Daenerys' assistance in rescuing Yara (Gemma Whelan). Game of Thrones has been slowly trying to redeem Theon for several seasons as he has worked through his PTSD at the same time, but full redemption has yet to happen for him. Of course, he has to want to be redeemed in order for it to happen and it's not clear if he will ever get there. Will he only achieve it if he sacrifices himself for Yara? If he faces off against Euron and defeats him? Just tell us!
5. Did Bronn (Jerome Flynn) survive saving Jaime's life?
As much as it pains us to say this, we're pretty certain that everyone's favorite comedic relief died while saving Jaime (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) from Drogon's incoming fire. We think this for two reasons. First, we didn't see him in the final scene of "The Spoils of War," when Jaime was sinking to the bottom of the conveniently placed river. Also, if Jaime doesn't drown and die -- and he almost certainly won't -- what are the real consequences of Daenerys ' attack? Sure, a lot of red shirts died, but is that enough? We can't even make an argument regarding the gold Jaime took from Highgarden because it's already within the walls of King's Landing. So ... is Bronn dead?
6. Is this going to be a two-man mining operation?
Who is going to mine the dragonglass for Jon's weapons? Is it just Jon and Davos (Liam Cunningham)? If so, Jon should have enough to take on the White Walkers and their army of the dead in about 248 years. Does the show even care about this minute detail? We know the writers have a lot on their plates and this is a show in which the dead are walking and dragons are burning people alive, but is it too much to ask for some realism?
7. Will Gendry return to forge the weapons for the war against the dead?
We already know Gendry (Joe Dempsie), Robert Baratheon's hunky bastard son, is returning to the series this season, but how will he do it? We can make all the rowing jokes we want -- and maybe part of us wanted him to be the person to drag Theon out of the water after Euron's attack in "Stormborn" -- but it's much more likely that he'll return as part of Jon's storyline. Gendry is a trained blacksmith and that could be very important now that Jon is going to be in need of someone to forge a whole lot of weapons from the dragonglass he is mining. If this is true and this is how Gendry returns to the narrative, then the only question we now have is: Who knows where he is?
8. Where were the Dothraki hiding?
No, seriously. Were they just chilling in the caves that Jon has now cleared out to mine dragonglass? Were they living on the beach? We hadn't really seen the Dothraki since Dany arrived at Dragonstone and then BOOM. So where the hell were they for the first three episodes of the season?
9. Will Tyrion be the person to save Jaime?
We know it is highly unlikely that Tyrion (Peter Dinklage) has suddenly become an Olympic-caliber swimmer and diver; he nearly drown in Season 5, when he was dragged to the depths of the sea by the Stone Men of Valyria. But wouldn't it be nice if Tyrion was somehow the person responsible for saving Jaime from the incredibly deep river he is currently drowning in? After all, Jaime previously saved Tyrion's life. For symmetry's sake, we'd love it if he could repay the favor by ordering someone to pull his older brother from the water.
10. When will we see the Hound and the Brotherhood Without Banners again?
We haven't seen the Hound (Rory McCann) and the Brotherhood Without Banners since the former looked into the flames in the Season 7 premiere and saw the White Walkers approaching a castle near the sea. We can probably assume that they are currently headed there to engage in the season's final epic battle, but will we see them before Beric (Richard Dormer) pulls out a flaming sword and goes to town?
And OK, maybe we just really miss the Hound. Can you blame us?
Game of Thrones airs Sundays at 9/8c on HBO.