Christmas with the Browns Hell...

Christmas with the Browns
Hell to the ho-ho-ho! For those of you who were going through BBBW (that would be Being Bobby Brown Withdrawal), Bravo served up a holiday episode of this past summer's biggest reality-TV guilty pleasure. It was late August when we last saw the notorious Bobby, along with wife Whitney Houston and their extended families, acting like fools for the camera, causing lots of us viewers to not be able to look away. And this was all brand-new footage. Let's relive the magic, and for those of you who missed it, let me paint you a picture:

11:00 pm Bobby and Whitney pick out a Christmas tree.
11:01 Whitney's wig looks like it's on backwards as they discuss how to decorate the house. Whitney says "Hell to the no!" twice after Bobby suggests getting fake snow for the floors. I immediately think "Wow only a minute in and we already hear the catchphrase."
11:02 Whitney says "I have to go my chariot awaits me!" as she exits dramatically. I could already tell that they are playing to the camera more than ever as Bobby jokingly makes a "Being Bobby Brown on Ice" reference.
11:04 Bobby and Whitney stop at Puppies from Heaven and buy a puppy for daughter Bobbi Kristina. Speaking of which, she is apparently allowed to wear makeup now and has slimmed down and grown a bit. Going through puberty reality-TV style lovely.
11:05 All of a sudden, we're at Bobbi Kristina's cheerleading competition. She is surprisingly good.
11:06 Bobby and Whitney get a pedicure. I don't need to see that!
11:07 Whitney sticks a rose stem in Bobby's ear.
11:08 Bobby brushes his teeth and then gets his hair braided. I'm tellin' ya: riveting television.
11:09 The Christmas tree is being decorated and there are several close-ups of the food, as well as cute shots of their dog. Bobby and some of the guys are singing at the piano.
11:14 After the commercial break, Whitney's now at the piano and her hair is a disheveled mess.
11:15 Bobby's sister-in-law Pat Houston is saying grace at the dinner table, but Whitney is still obliviously playing the piano.
11:16 Bobby pours some booze. "Hey, it's Christmas. I need a little spirit, too."
11:17 Bobby wants to know how people can kiss a dog on the mouth and says the dog "smells like doo-doo." He then declares, "There's no such thing as Santa," which Bobbi Kris mockingly denies.
11:18 Lots of gravy spills on the floor. I told you it was riveting.
11:19 Bobby and the men sing again and Bobby strains on the high notes.
11:21 A neighborhood choir arrives and performs beautifully. Bobby dances silly, which causes Whitney to crack a smile for the first time tonight.
11:28 Bobbi Kris loves her new puppy.
11:29 Bobby, via closing voiceover, wishes you a merry Christmas. Dave Anderson, in more politically correct manner, wishes you all "Happy Holidays." Dave Anderson

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