Hair Show Reviews

Only the wild and crazy hair do's — and don'ts — featured during the climatic Hair Battle Royale enliven this lackluster rip-off of THE BIG TEASE (1999) and BLOW DRY (2001) — all the conditioner in the world couldn't make it shine. Peaches (Mo'Nique) and Angela (Kellita Smith of TV's The Bernie Mac Show) haven't spoken to each other since the death of their beloved grandmother, mostly because Granny left $75,000 to the super-responsible Angela while all Peaches got was the dusty old family Bible. Sassy, spunky, Baltimore-based hairdresser Peaches is popular but unreliable, and she's already struggling financially when the government comes after her for $92,000 in back taxes. She's just cut a deal with some tough FBI agents, agreeing to come up with $50,000 in 60 days, when, out of nowhere she receives an invitation to attend the fifth anniversary of Angela's Beverly Hills spa. Their surprise reunion was engineered by well-meaning spa-employee Jun Ni (Keiko Agena), and Peaches can't believe how much her sister — now going by the oh-so-classy moniker Angelle — has changed for the conservative. But the sisters begin to redevelop their sibling bond until Peaches reveals the true reason for her visit — she hopes to borrow the $50,000 from Angelle. Angelle flatly refuses, but offers Peaches a job cutting at her spa. Peaches knows that won't keep her out of the slammer and tries to find another way to make some fast cash — how fortuitous that the top prize at the upcoming "Hair Battle Royale" is exactly what Peaches owes Uncle Sam. Angelle drags her heels until nasty, embittered Marcella (Gina Torres), who owns a rival salon, makes an offer she can't refuse. Mo'Nique is one of a handful of actresses who can make almost anything funny, but even she can't do anything for this tedious farce, and it doesn't help that Smith is uncharacteristically stiff and Torres plays an unconvincing and just plain silly villain. What this rehash desperately needs is some real style, but even an industrial-strength can of hair spray can't keep it from coming undone.