Trading Spouses: Meet Your New...

Trading Spouses: Meet Your New Daddy
Fox executives must really like shows about swapping city dwellers with country folks. I really liked Jay the country guy. Sure, he was prone to saying "golly" just like TV's most famous hick, Gomer Pyle. But that's OK, he was sweet. I feel bad for any man who's married to New Yawker Beverly Levine — even if it's only temporarily. She was such an obnoxious, overbearing snob. How sad that she put on airs like she's this worldly rich lady, yet she can't correctly pronounce phrases like "Manolo Blahnik" and "Pinot Noir." Her comments about Tavern on the Green weren't very nice, especially considering that Fox probably footed the bill for the meal. Unfortunately, when trashy people get money, they often think they need to "act rich" by being haughty. You just can't buy grace and good breeding.

Father of the Pride
Dreamworks Animation certainly did a very spiffy job on this show. (The behind-the-scenes tidbit at the end said it takes nine months to make one episode. I think that deserves an "ooohh... ahhh...") Siegfried and Roy — who are co-producers on the series with Jeffrey Katzenberg — must also be good sports to poke fun at themselves this way. I enjoyed the Indian elephant's crack about their flamboyance onstage: "What kind of astronaut wears a rhinestone codpiece?" It sounded like something Triumph the Insult Comic Dog would say.

Notice how Cheryl Hines plays the sensible wife on both this show and Curb Your Enthusiasm. Also, in both series, she's always denying sex to a husband named Larry. Strange! But at least the lions got amorous in the end. Also, I liked when Hines's lioness character, Kate, told the male panda: "You have WASPy good looks, like James Spader." Oh, and I liked when Lisa Kudrow's whiny female panda, Fu Lin, told the men: "Stop trying to solve my problems. Just let me have my feelings!" That is so like a woman. Anyway, I could quote cute lines from this thing all night. I don't know if Father of the Pride will really "change the face of television," as Katzenberg has boasted, but I'll definitely tune in again for more laughs.

Scrubs
Yay! Scrubs is finally back with fresh episodes. So J.D. has a "pillow girlfriend" named Katya? I knew those full-body pillows were for lonely singles like me! They look comfy, but I just can't bring myself to buy one. If you start sleeping with a downy-feathered spousal substitute, you're only a step away from hooking up with one of those Real Doll sex dummies. (Just like Dylan Walsh did on Nip/Tuck last week. Yuck!)

It was also cute how J.D. wrote the name "Al Coholic" on the staff assignment board. True confession: I can't seem to pass a Magic Marker board without putting a goofy fake name on it either. Fun! Speaking of silly monikers, Heather Graham's new resident shrink is called Dr. Molly Clock. Sounds like a character from a children's show. She's just so cute and bland, I can't bring myself to like or dislike her. She's just... there. Nah, I think I do like Molly. It's good that Eliot has a new friend. And that Heather Graham has work, since we haven't seen her a whole lot since Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me.

Nip/Tuck
I hate, hate, hate that plastic surgeon who did Julia's boob job. She was so phony and manipulative. Let me recap what Dr. Evil said: "If it makes you feel any better, 70 percent of breast augmentations I do are on women divorced or in the process. It can be quite healing — a way of affirming your desirability." What a crock! I wonder how many women have been similarly coaxed into balming their emotional hurt with such drastic surgery?

Sorry, I'm totally having a feminist moment about this. (Hope that makes up for my "so like a woman" comment above!) By the way, does Julia's "enhancement" mean that actress Joely Richardson will have to pad her brassiere from now on? I suppose so, unless Julia decides to have the implants removed. Heck, anything can happen on Nip/Tuck.

P.S. Did you recognize Beverly Hills, 90210 star Rebecca Gayheart as Christian's blind crush, Natasha Charles? It's terrible, but I can never think of Gayheart without remembering her unfortunate car accident in 2001. If you recall, she pleaded no contest to a misdemeanor vehicular-manslaughter charge after hitting a 9-year-old boy with her SUV. Back then, I questioned whether her career would survive that grim mishap. (After all, there's bad publicity and then there's bad publicity...) But here she is, guest starring in this Emmy-worthy episode of a hot show, so perhaps I have my answer.