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Tracy Morgan Says He Watched His Deadly Car Crash on YouTube in Heart-Wrenching First Interview

"I can't believe I'm here," Tracy Morgan cried

Robyn Ross

Tracy Morgan gave his first live interview since his deadly car crash a year ago and it was absolutely heart-wrenching to watch.

Appearing on Monday's Today, Morgan, at first, remarked that he couldn't believe everything that has happened. "I can't believe I'm here," he told Matt Lauer. "I can't believe I'm in front of you. "

Soon after, Morgan spoke about his friends and family keeping his spirits up, but then immediately broke down speaking about his friend James McNair, known as Jimmy Mack, who died in the accident after a Walmart tractor-trailer hit their limo.

"He was a loving man and a warm man and a good man and it's hard for me to see that he's gone," he said. "That's it."

Walmart Settles with Tracy Morgan Over Deadly Car Crash

Lauer soon asked Morgan, who suffered severed injuries and still uses a cane, to take him back to the day of the crash and Morgan interrupted saying, "I don't remember the accident." Lauer asked if he saw McNair after the accident, and Morgan said the last time he remembers seeing him was during the comedy show that night and that it wasn't until he came out of a coma two weeks later that he learned of McNair's death.

"When I got home, it really hit me and every day I would watch the accident on YouTube and one day, I came across his funeral on YouTube and I lost it for about a week," he said.

As for the SNL star's health, he says he has his good days and bad days when he forgets things or has headaches and nosebleeds. His lawyer, Benedict Morelli, interjected with the names of the hospitals and doctors that Morgan wanted to thank, including a nurse whom Morgan admits he cursed at and threw things at in anger. "The only thing she'd say to me is, 'Everything is going to be alright," Morgan said in tears. "One day I went to [my new room] and when I got off the elevator, I [saw] all of these faces that I remembered. And guess who came around the corner? Nurse Jackie and I grabbed her and I wouldn't let her go and I said, 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry.'"

At the end of the interview, Lauer asked about the emotional effects. Morgan, who said, "Bones heal, but the loss of my friend will never heal." He then brought up his lawsuit with Walmart, which was settled last week. "I'm happy that Walmart stepped up to the plate in a tremendous way and took full responsibility," he said. "I'm just really happy they looked out for Jimmy Mack's family because my friend can rest in peace now."

Morgan closed by saying, "I love comedy. I'll never stop loving her. I love comedy and I can't wait to get back to her. But right now my goal is just to heal and get better. I'm not 100 percent yet. I'm not. And when I'm there, you'll know it. I'll get back to making you laugh, I promise you."