Inspired by the Purge City pop-up that appeared at San Diego Comic-Con earlier this year, USA Network has launched an online version of it's one-stop shop for all your Purge Night needs in what might be the greatest marketing ploy we've seen in quite a while. There's his and hers body armor, 12-hour sandalwood scented purge candles and even stain "purger," you know, for when the occasional brain splatter doesn't stay on that carefully laid tarp.

It's demented, but we like demented.

The Purge Shopping Channel features perky (and clearly psychotic) hosts Carson Cruz and Rachel Stamp hawking all the wares a homicidal maniac emboldened by a state-sanctioned night of murder and mayhem could need. It is truly a work of art.

Yes, The Purge TV Series Looks Like Pure Gore Gratification, But That's Okay"

Now, while you can't actually purchase any of the "top-selling items" like you could at the shop at Comic-Con, the Purge Shopping Channel does feature a selection of cute and twisted e-cards, as well as handy guides to making the most out of your Purge Night, whether you're planning to stay in for the night, relaxing with loved ones in a windowless room behind a blast-proof door, or roaming the streets with a few bloodthirsty frenemies.

The Purge premieres Tuesday, Sept. 4 at 10/9c on USA.