The Bachelorette: Becca's Season Premiere Had Us Saying "Arie Who?"

Is it just me, or do most of these guys seem decent?

Historically, The Bachelorette has been a showcase for testosterone and frattiness and conflicts between unnecessarily jacked real estate salesmen (cough Chad cough). But based on the first night of Becca Kufrin's season, these guys might be a kinder, gentler bunch. Nobody passed out drunk or got in a shouting match. Nobody was transparently there for the wrong reasons (cough Whaboom cough). It was relatively light on drama for a first night. And you know what? It still worked. The show found other ways to entertain.

The show began with a quick recap of Becca's journey of getting proposed to by Arie Luyendyk Jr. and then dumped on-camera a few months later. It's been really hard, but she's ready to move on. And since she already fell in love once, she trusts the process. She's just worried that the same thing is going to happen again, where she falls for someone who doesn't feel as strongly as she does.

Previous Bachelorettes Kaitlyn Bristowe, JoJo Fletcher and Rachel Lindsay all advised her that she'll be fine, though. JoJo, who went through a similar thing when her Bachelor Ben Higgins was in love with two women, said that though she was devastated after the breakup, the first night of The Bachelorette was the most hopeful night she ever had. And things have worked out for her so far, and Kaitlyn and Rachel, too. They're all still with the men they chose. And they all chose the guy to whom they gave their first impression rose.

Some of the guys got intro videos, which were all pretty boring except Jordan's. Jordan is a male model and extremely weird dude. On a conference call earlier this week with press, Becca said that Jordan is a guy to watch, because he kept everybody laughing the whole season. He doesn't seem like he's being funny on purpose, though. He just takes fashion and modeling more seriously than anyone else on Earth, and expresses his ideas about it in peculiar ways. When he got out of the limo, he paused for about five seconds to dramatically button his suit, because you're supposed to unbutton your suit while sitting and button it while standing. Jordan observes all rules and formalities. Not wearing socks with your suit is repulsive to him. He doesn't show any signs of villainy, though; he's very consciously a gentleman. He's polite and complimentary to his competitors, and when he got out of the limo he told Becca he's already having a great time, which is good line. Perhaps he'll drop the gentleman act as the season progresses, but for now, he's just a guy who's full of odd, overdramatic turns of phrase like "I wanted Becca to hear the tapping of the shoes I wore, because that's like the heartbeat of a gentleman."

None of the men really presented signs of villainy. Some guys made very poor first impressions, like Kamil, who made Becca walk to him in a weird show of dominance, and David, who showed up in a chicken suit going "Be-KAW!" But most guys seemed pretty normal. Becca really connected with Blake, who has an oddly square haircut but who is on the same romantic wavelength with her, and Garrett, who got the first impression rose.

Garrett is the guy who said in his bio that he's been working on his Chris Farley impression, which he showed off in his intro video. It's pretty good, but why you would want to be good at that I do not know. Garrett is kinda goofy, which is why it's surprising to me that he got the first impression rose. Usually the lead doesn't go for goofy guys. But Becca thought his gimmick of rolling up in a minivan complete with car seats and soccer balls to show his dad bona fides was funny, and he has a very winning smile. It's hard to not like someone with a smile like that. He's gonna go far. Remember: the three previous Bachelorettes are engaged to their first impression rose recipient. Becca has admitted she's engaged to someone, and it could very well be Garrett.

The guy who most impressed me was Christon, who used to be a Harlem Globetrotter. He dunked over Becca. Just jumped over her head like Nate Robinson in the 2009 Slam Dunk Contest. He was wearing suit pants when he did it. Like I said, the show found other ways to be entertaining.

And the drama there was was pretty mild and borderline confusing. It was pretty clear we weren't getting the full story in both cases. Chris and Chase are both from Orlando, and Chris know's Chase's ex. She told him that Chase isn't there for the right reasons (he's trying to promote his marketing company), and so he confronted Chase about it. Chase then decided to be proactive and tell Becca that he was there for the right reasons, which baffled Becca because she had no reason to suspect he wasn't. She wanted to know what Chase's ex said, at which point Chase realized he didn't know. Which probably indicates that he's guilty of something, doesn't it? Wouldn't you want to know what you're defending yourself for, unless you know what it is without having to be told? Chase went and got Chris, and the three of them had an exchange that hurt my brain a little bit. Becca didn't know what it was all about, but it made her realize she had her own thing she needed to get ahead of.

One guy, Jake, was someone she knew from back in Minneapolis. They had mutual friends and had met on numerous occasions that Jake didn't remember. He only remembered meeting her one time. Apparently neither of them had ever expressed interest in the other before, so Becca was surprised and suspicious to see him there. "I'm here for you," he said condescendingly. "Yeee-ooo," he emphasized, poking her in the arm. He said he'd had a "very transformative year" since the Christmas party where he remembers meeting her, and I thought he meant that he'd gotten sober recently, and he didn't remember her the other times they met because he was blacked out. But no, he said that if they met in a bar in Minneapolis, things would be different. They're not in Minneapolis, though. They're on The Bachelorette. He seemed wack, and Becca sent him home right there.

Lincoln, Blake, Rickey, Jean Blanc, Christon, Clay, Wills, Connor, Jason, John, Ryan, Alex, Nick, Trent, Colton, David the Chicken, Jordan, Leo, Mike and Chris R. got roses. Chase, Kamil, Joe, Christian, Darius and Grant got sent home during the rose ceremony.

It was a relatively low-drama premiere, but I'm almost certainly incorrect about these guys being nice and normal. Things are surely gonna get very dramatic as the season progresses. It's The Bachelorette.

The Bachelorette airs Mondays at 8/7c on ABC.