Skating with Celebrities This...

Skating with CelebritiesThis week there were no falls, and the shakiness on the skates was kept to a minimum. What fun is that? Well, Bruce and Tai actually skated off the rink at one point, so that's something. But it's become clear that if your partner is a seasoned pairs skater, you're gonna be in the finals. New technical requirement: side-by-side jumps with at least a half-revolution. Theme: Top 40 songs.

Kristy and Lloyd: Kristy gives her expert analysis of what the judges want: "bigger stuff." So she and Lloyd give it to them. It's their best skate by far with all the lunges and the jumps and the lifts. Judges are ecstatic. Even Sir CrankyPants can't think of a single negative comment. Wow. Score: 55.9/60.
Jillian and John: In practice, Miss Injury Prone bruises her ribs, but you can't tell during the performance. J&J put a little rock into their skate and pull off a near-professional-level routine. Judges are impressed, even though the cranky one tries to play party pooper. No matter. Score: 55.9.
Dave and Nancy: Even before they took the rink, I knew they were leaving. And no amount of booty shakin' was going to change it. But they tried. Judges knew their routine lacked the skill, difficulty and grace they'd already seen from the two previous teams. Score: (a too high) 52.7.
Bruce and Tai: So it's time for these two to skate, yet there are still 20 minutes left in the show. Scott is forced to go backstage and interview Bruce and Tai. Then come the commercials. Then comes Scott recapping the standings. Then the package where Bruce gets an owie and goes to the hospital. Then they skate to Carrie Underwood's "Inside Your Heaven," a title that, frankly, scares me. Bruce and Tai are good enough to stay another week. Score 54.7.

The comedy team of Coulier and Kerrigan get eliminated and the hockey skater thanks the audience. Since I was in the stands for last week's episode, I'll take this time to speak on the audience's behalf: "No, Dave. Thank you."  Bettina Charles

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