Question: Hi, Michael. Stay away from teenage boys. They're vulnerable between ages 11-19. And you're middle-age and a father. I hope you don't lose your children. I listened to your music when I was younger. If you stayed away from young boys, then maybe you wouldn't get into this kind of trouble anymore. I hope you're innocent. That's all I have to say. Bye. — Nicole Yellig

Ausiello: It's e-mails like this that make me wonder what kind of people read this column. Thank god for free crap.