Paris Hilton on Larry King: Of Epiphanies, Mystery Meat and Other Baloney

There was a drinking game to be played Wednesday night - I know the wife and I repeated a certain two-syllable word throughout the Q&A - as Paris Hilton presented her freed self on Larry King Live. Sporting the-best-money-can-buy hair extensions, lush lashes and an olive branch extended to her detractors, Hilton (as I predicted) had not much to say that hasn't already trickled out via phone calls to Babs, Ryan Seacrest et al. Instead, she stuck to the script that jail was hard, really hard, and that the ( alleged) party-gal behavior that brought her to this juncture is all behind her now.
Among the choicer sound bites:
" The strip search "was the most humiliating experience of my life, taking my clothes off in front of someone you don't even know."
" "I'm really not into [partying].... It is not going to be the mainstay of my life anymore." (OK, so it was a 'mainstay,' yet you aren't into it?)
" Asked point-blank if she has ever done drugs or had a drinking problem, Paris flatly denied either bad habit.
" Explaining that she minds her own business empire, she said, "I work very hard and get no money from my family."
" "When I have a daughter, I'll have a lot of good advice for her." (Starts with "Hire a" and ends with "driver"?)
Going forward with her increasingly documented life, Hilton said she has films, plural, and a fifth season of The Simple Life in the works. She also wants to help raise money for kids, breast cancer and MS, as well as open a halfway house for inmates transitioning back into society. All we can do is wish her well in her more altrustic pursuits.