If you're anything like us, you've probably already watched the entire third season of Orange Is the New Black (twice). And that's OK, because in addition to being one of the funniest shows on television, Orange is also a major life education on everything from who to trust (answer: no bitch) to the best summer reading (The Time Hump Chronicles).
Check out the 23 biggest, life-changing lessons we learned from Orange Is the New Black Season 3 below.
1. Friday Night Lights holds the answer to every question.
2. Even books deserve a funeral.
3. When your cult gets out of hand, just eat your feelings.
4. America needs to get its priorities straight.
5. Sometimes it's best to be direct.
6. Softening your eyeliner is the real key.
7. You are what you eat.
8. Not everyone can be Shakespeare, but that's OK.
9. Don't be ashamed of your body.
10. It's possible to love corn more than people.
11. Don't let anyone question your artistic voice.
12. Hate sex doesn't work so well once the hate is gone.
13. Never let others define you.
14. Make sure to keep a busy schedule.
15. Roll with the punches.
16. Everyone wants to be Jewish.
17. Switch up your excuses.
18. People change.
19. There's always time for a swim.
20. Desperate people will believe anything.
21. Always follow the Queen's lead.
22. It's OK not to write your own vows.
23. And of course, trust no bitch.