Question: M. Smith was right last week, but I'm putting it a little nicer and calling you a jackass. You are very rude. You told me once my family scared you because of the shows we liked. Well, I've seen a list of your favorite shows and you scare the hell out of me. And Mariska did not name her baby after you. Good lord, man, get a grip! I can see why you are not married. Who the hell would put up with such a jerk? I've also seen your picture and you are "ugly."

Answer: Let me clarify something before responding: Are we talking Ugly Betty "ugly" or real-world "ugly"? Because there's a big difference.