How addicted am I to Lost? So addicted that I'll even forgive J.J. Abrams & Co. the cheesy moth symbolism that they not-so-subtly slipped into this week's episode. We get it, guys: Charlie has to make himself quit heroin in the same way a moth has to free itself from its own cocoon that's very Metaphors 101 of you. Still, it was nice to see an episode devoted to young Master Monaghan, who, along with Terry "Piggy" O'Quinn, plays one of the more intriguing characters in this large cast. I especially liked the reveal that Driveshaft was basically Oasis with a better hit single. Charlie's brother was even named Liam, for crying out loud! Elsewhere, Jack and Kate inch ever closer to couplehood... or at least a midnight booty call. You know, I understand that we're supposed to root for these two to hook up because they're the "heroes" of the show, but honestly, Evangeline Lilly strikes more sparks with Naveen Andrews (who plays Sayid) than Matthew Fox. And for his part, Fox seems more turned on by matching luggage than his pretty costar. But according to my wife, the real budding romance on the island is between Sayid and Sawyer. After all, they did come running out of the fuselage together in the last episode to save Michael from Jin. Plus, they're constantly showing off in front of each other, often while sweaty. Her final piece of evidence? They're both really hot. Remember, you heard it here first, gang. For the sake of their future happiness though, I hope neither one happens to be a resident of Mississippi... or Ohio... or even Oregon... hell, they're probably better off just staying on the island.
In their never-ending quest to find the mythological creature known as the Lowest Common Denominator, Fox unleashes an exploitive reality series that inadvertently doubles as an effective argument for birth control. It's kind of funny that the family's "prize" for enduring a weeklong crash course in good parenting is a cruise where the kids will be watched over by shipboard nannies while Mommy and Daddy get to enjoy a little romantic time. Isn't that what got them into this mess in the first place? Ultimately, I'm not quite sure who is the intended audience for this show: unhappy parents who take pleasure in seeing families that are worse off than their own or recently married couples trying to get their own parents off their back about the grandkids question. I think a more entertaining series would focus exclusively on that swingin' nanny pad creatively called Nanny Central where all the British nannies hang out before they're dispatched to rescue the incompetent American families. It could be like a Real World meets Survivor scenario, where the nannies have to live together in the same house and square off in such challenges as "Best Withering Stare" and "Most Creative Use of Corporal Punishment." Julie Andrews is between Princess Diaries sequels right now, so she'd be free to host....
Regency House Party
Leave it to the Brits to find new life in the played-out dating-show genre. In this lively series, a group of single guys and gals are put together under one roof with the goal of finding true love. The twist? The show is "set" during the Regency period, and each person has been assigned a specific role and social class to play. Unfortunately for the women, the men are too busy snorting tobacco and consuming mass quantities of wine to pay them much attention (hey, it's just like modern times!). So far, the coolest characters are the supporting players, like the snarky servants and the hermit who lives out in the woods. You heard that right, a hermit who lives out in the woods. And he goes by the name of Zebedee Helm. I think I know who I'm going to be for Halloween next year.
On the scale of CSI leading men, Gary Sinise appears less bored with his job than William Petersen, but he's nowhere near as endearingly kooky as David Caruso. That redheaded ham is incapable of delivering any line completely straight. It's kind of cute in a way to see Sinise trying so hard to invest his character with real emotions. I give him another season before he finally breaks down and realizes that he's being upstaged by inanimate lab equipment. The rest of the NY cast seems perfectly aware of this, especially Vanessa Ferlito, who I don't recall being this bland in her supporting role as Claudia (or, as it was more commonly pronounced, Cl-ow-dee-ah) on 24 last season. Furthermore, her lips appear to have shrunk since moving from Mexico to the Big Apple. Did Angelina Jolie threaten to sue her for copyright infringement or something?
The Incredibles Trailer
Perhaps the one bright spot of this week has been knowing that the latest Pixar film hits theaters on Friday. I caught a screening last weekend and, after I picked my jaw up off the floor (making sure to scrape away the dried gum and popcorn kernels), I promptly left a message on my wife's voice mail vowing that I would see it another 800 times. Okay, so maybe 800 is stretching it a bit, but I'm positive I'll be forking over my hard-earned cash to Disney quite often this holiday season. Hear that, Eisner? How about a free trip to Disneyland as a reward?
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Somehow when you hear Comedy Central's golden boy Jon Stewart say, "I guess politics is over," it feels that much more final. You do have to wonder what the writers are going to do for material over the next few weeks. Obviously this administration will provide them with plenty of fodder in the months and years ahead, but for now Stewart will probably want to give the District of Columbia a rest. Hey, as long as they keep Stephen Colbert around, I'll be happy. Damian Holbrook had last night off. Today's column was written by Ethan Alter.