You know how your version of what's...

You know how your version of what's sexy and your mom's version of what's sexy don't exactly reside in the same zip code? Well, just imagine your mom's version gets let loose on a reality show. Carolyn's all tarted up in the boardroom (hellooo, ladies!); Trump's asking his candidates point-blank whether they're gay or virgins; and George is alright, fortunately for everyone involved, George sees fit to stay above the fray on this one. But alas, the permanent damage to my psyche's been done. It all starts out innocently enough: The teams tackle the wild and wacky world of continuing education, with slapped-together seminars at the Learning Annex. Teflon Ping-Pong ball Randal leads Excel to a fairly painless victory, while Adam takes the I-might-throw-up-at-any-given-moment approach to project management. Despite their leader's squeamishness, Capital Edge takes a cue from Salt-N-Pepa and decides to talk about sex and it all goes downhill from there. As Mike Myers' Linda Richman might have said, "This is neither a seminar, nor about sex. Discuss." Or in Carolyn's words: "It's funny, but it's not educational." (Duh, CK. Why do you think we're watching?) While I do think Clay deserves some sort of award for taking his team's "presentation" and I do use the term loosely from boring to offensive in under six seconds, I'm glad Trump went the other way and finally pulled the trigger on Markus. Not that that's gonna shut him up, mind you.

And now, a marvelous insight into the miracle that is sexual diversity, courtesy of one Donald J. Trump: "I like steak, somebody else likes spaghetti. That's why they have menus in restaurants." Gee, thanks. Mom? Dad? I think I'm ready to hear about how I was conceived now.