Who knew that with such notorious...

Who knew that with such notorious characters as Omarosa, Jose Canseco and Janice Dickinson in the house, the biggest bitch and creepiest guy would be Balki from Perfect Strangers? The guy readily admits that his agent warned him not to sexually harass anyone in the house. Oooh, foreshadowing! The rest of the cast doesn't wait long to show their true colors which are even more varied and clashing than the colors of this carnival-themed house (and I actually kinda like the decor). Omarosa, the reality veteran, knows the importance of controlling the sleeping arrangements. I can see why she'd pick the room with two beds, but was she really wise to make Janice her roommate? I can safely say I've never heard of Caprice before this show, but it's pretty funny that she's never heard of Ms. World's First Supermodel Herself. Sandy "Pepa" Denton, Carey Hart and Lucky, the three-legged dog, are clearly the most stable housemates. And then there's Jose. Despite the best-selling memoir and claims to be a changed man, I don't think I'd want someone with a wife-beating past in my room, either. I'll give him credit for having a sense of humor about it, though: He clearly knew his reputation preceded him when he started uttering out-of-context lines like "I'll beat you," and "I'm definitely going to victimize you two." But soon enough all the ladies are blinded by his physique and instantly forget his 'roid-infused past. The priceless exchange between Jose, Pepa and Caprice about stinking up the bathroom seemed early proof that the B-listers would get along just fine. Of course, Bronson and Janice put an end to that harmony pretty quickly. She had no problem feeling up Jose's manly muscles (at the expense of Pepa's drawn-out story), but I do agree that Bronson crossed the line with that slimy reach-around. The two of them looked pretty tipsy, to make matters worse. Loved the response of Janice's friend Pabo/Paula/Paulo (those nonunionized subtitle writers were having fun with this, too) when she begged him to come get her: "I'm in New York! It's 2 am!" Thank you, Pepa, for saving the day with that private moment in the bathroom. Without Janice, this season wouldn't be nearly as surreal.