A year ago, the hope of a Gilmore Girls revival was but a fever dream brought on by too many Red Vines and heated discussions of whether Charles Bukowski would like Jane Austen. At best it was a rumor that was mostly unsubstantiated but nevertheless persisted because if there's one thing the internet is good at, it's never letting things go.
Now, in the summer of 2016, nearly a decade after Rory (Alexis Bledel) left Stars Hollow, the world eagerly awaits the return of Lorelai (Lauren Graham), Rory and yes, even Emily (Kelly Bishop), the titular Gilmores of the whimsical show's title. Fans are planning epic binge-watching marathons and engaging in newly reinvigorated debates about which one of Rory's three boyfriends was her perfect match. They're freaking out over learning Michel's backstory and preparing themselves for Melissa McCarthy's return.
But we're here to tell you that you're doing it all wrong. You're watching Gilmore Girls wrong. Forget Lorelai. Forget Rory. There's only one true star of Gilmore Girls and his name is Kirk Gleason (Sean Gunn).
If you don't believe us, here are all the times he out-shined the rest of Stars Hollow, which is a town with multiples stores dedicated to peddling porcelain unicorns, so that's saying something.
10. When he did... whatever this was
Be honest, you couldn't look away, could you?
9. When he gave the greatest inspirational speech...
... about finding the rotting eggs in the town square.
8. When he fought with Jackson over Sookie's basket during the Bid-a-Basket Festival
Two forms of ID doesn't seem that unreasonable.
7. When he shared our enthusiasm for working out
Honestly, we've never felt closer to Kirk.
6. When he described his night terrors to Luke
Which was later followed by Naked Kirk.
5. When he became a professional dog walker
4. When he set up his own diner, Kirk's, across the street from Luke's
Look, he saw a need and he filled it, just like Chuck E. Cheese.
3. When he won the 24-Hour Dance Marathon
And he ran around the dance floor to the theme from Rocky.
2. When he got a cat and named it Cat Kirk
Wait, maybe this makes Cat Kirk the real star of Gilmore Girls...
1. When he blessed us with "A Film by Kirk"
Thank you, Kirk. Thank you.