<EM>Sons & Daughters</EM>' Alison Quinn, Jerry Lambert, Trevor Einhorn and Dee Wallace Sons & Daughters' Alison Quinn, Jerry Lambert, Trevor Einhorn and Dee Wallace

Tonight's episodes of Sons & Daughters [starting at 9 pm/ET on ABC] will tease, titillate, and traumatize you.

First up is "House Party," written by Jordana Arkin and directed by Bob Berlinger. Prepare yourself for some outrageous behavior when Don and Sharon (Alison Quinn) decide to get away from it all by spicing up their love life at a motel. When the cat's away the mice will play, and Jeff takes full advantage of the missing-parent situation to throw himself a little house party that turns big in a hurry. Christine Lakin is back as Sydney, Jeff's attractive yoga-loving girlfriend. Concerned, Carrie (Eden Sher, who gets her braces off this summer) calls her Uncle Cameron (Fred Goss) to put an end to it. Cameron sees it as an escape from the snoozefest at his house and decides to bring his reluctant son Henry (Trevor Einhorn) with him.

Speaking of Trevor, many of us in the cast and crew went to see him in his real-life high school's production of "Beauty and the Beast" the other night, and Trevor was fantastic as Lumière. He sang, he danced, and the budget for this show was probably bigger than 80 percent of the plays that I've done in my life. (Hey, it was in Beverly Hills.) It was by far the best high-school production I have ever seen. It was great to all be together and see talented Trevor do his thing. We were like proud parents. We had everything but the camcorders.

Our makeup artists Bridget O'Neill and Jennifer Donish should win an award for their fine work on Don and Sharon in "House Party." Let's just say they got to know Alison and me very, very well. The motel scene was shot in an authentic seedy motel that had plenty of, er, character. I wanted to wrap myself up in a large Hefty bag for sanitation purposes before entering the room that we worked in. Alison, as always, made the time go by quickly by just being her hilarious self. She was just born funny; she can't help it.

Wendal (Max Gail), Colleen (Dee Wallace), Liz (Gillian Vigman) and Jenna (Amanda Walsh) are entertaining older ladies Aunt Rae (Lois Hall) and her "friend." That's where Cameron is when he makes his escape to Jeff's party, ostensibly to break it up. (yeah, right). Whitey (Greg Pitts) has a new job that brings him directly to Jeff's party, where he is again involved in an altercation after imbibing. He also learns a lesson about trampolines: Never drink and dive.

Immediately following "House Party" is "The Homecoming," our 10th episode. Directed with great passion and skill by executive producer and former lacrosse star Nick Holly (I owe him money), it was written by Nick and Fred.

In this episode, Merv, the biological father of Cameron and Sharon, shows up, tossing an emotional hand grenade into the family. Veteran actor Casey Sander takes on the role of Merv.

Jenna, meanwhile, finds out that Whitey is dating a stripper and forbids him from seeing their son, Danny. The riveting nine-minute strip-club scene must have slipped by the censors while they were out at lunch. I have tried to get ABC to cut this slow-motion sequence of scantily clad beautiful women pole-dancing, so far to no avail. Hopefully, by the time this episode is broadcast the scene will be cut.

Many thanks to my compassionate and discriminating editor Daniel Manu at TVGuide.com for letting me share my thoughts with the fans of Sons & Daughters. As our first season comes to a close, I'd also like to thank our fans from all over this great land of ours for tuning in to see just what our family was going to do next.

We hope to continue making new episodes of Sons & Daughters in the future, using fresh and funny ways to tell the stories of the Walker clan, always mixing heart, humor and truth. Thanks for reading, and be sure to watch us on ABC tonight!

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For even more on the "relative" insanity of ABC's Sons & Daughters, check out Jerry's blogs from March 7, March 14, March 21 and March 28.