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Glee kicks off its final season on Friday (8/7c, Fox), which means it's only a matter of months before one of TV's most unpredictable and over-the-top comedies leaves the air for good. Although certain upcoming plot points, returning faces and devastating breakup have already been revealed, it's been eight long months since the show last aired, which left plenty of time to draw up a few final, and out-there, requests for the final run.
1. If we must have new kids, at least make them quirky There's a reason that Marley, Jake, Kitty, Unique and Ryder will only be making brief farewell appearances this upcoming season. With the exception of Unique, who at least started out as a winning character, the rest of Glee: The New Class never caught on with viewers. Why? While New Directions' original crew were never afraid to let their respective freak flags fly high, the younger kids' bland personalities made it hard to stand out. The Kurts and Rachels were distinguishable because of their unique character traits - Santana (Naya Rivera) was the street-tough one, Brittany (Heather Morris) was the dim bulb and Rachel (Lea Michele) was the obnoxious overachiever. The sophomores, however, were simply known for whatever issue of-the-moment had been prescribed to them (see: bulimia, dyslexia, being Catfished, etc.). Although it seems a tricky proposition for Glee to attempt to introduce yet another group of fresh faces for the show's final 13 episodes, the breakdowns for the new roles give us optimism.
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2. Please show footage from Rachel's disastrous TV series Spoiler alert: Rachel's TV show is going to fail miserably. But those who watched the Season 5 finale didn't need an episode description to tell them that, right? After Kristen Schaal's inspired but utterly out-there performance as an eccentric screenwriter, true Gleeks have surely been dying of curiosity the past few months to see just how she "brought out" Rachel's personality to the screen. Ryan Murphy has already proved he knows how to make fun of the industry on The New Normal so this only seems fair. Plus, all those TV deaths have made us particularly bloodthirsty of late. Give us the carnage or go home!
3. A shout-out to the other members of New Directions The final season of Glee is supposed to be all about bringing back the OG members of the McKinley High glee club and paying proper respect, but what about those other singers who unceremoniously vanished without a trace? For every background player-turned-fan favorite like Brittany and Santana, there was Matt (Dijon Talton), who "moved" after Season 1, and the tone-deaf Sugar (Vanessa Lengies), who was annoying but lovable. And then there's Lauren Zizes (Ashley Fink), who won the adoration of Puck (Mark Salling) as well as fans and brought a fresh energy to New Directions in Season 2, and the charismatic Irish exchange student Rory (Damian McGinty), who most recently randomly appeared as Artie's guardian angel in Season 4. What happened to them? Did Matt go the singing route or the sport route (or neither)? Did Sugar ever discover her real talent? Even if it's just a casual aside, it would be nice to get some sort of update.
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4. More romance for Sue Chris Parnell is pretty much stellar on everything (see: SNL, 30 Rock, Archer and - tear! - the late Suburgatory), but he was exceptionally winning as Mario, a love interest for Sue at the end of last season. Their terrific chemistry was probably the closest Sue has ever come to true love in all of Glee's run, and although Mario lives in New York City as a restaurateur, he could easily expand to Lima and give Breadstix a run for its money. If the 1995 classic Clueless taught us anything, it's that the best way to take down an enemy is to distract them with true love (i.e. Mr. Hall, duh!). If Rachel is really serious about trying to get the glee club reinstated for good at McKinley this season, a romance for Sue would pay off for everyone.
5. A Michael Bolton cameo! This would obviously require Glee to actually acknowledge that, yes, Sue is a mother. But the show has never shied away from celebrity cameos, hilarious (Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan) and otherwise (Perez Hilton), so how has Sue's celebrity baby daddy, Michael Bolton, not yet walked the halls of McKinley? There are only 13 episodes left to right this wrong.
6. No more "Don't Stop Believin'" encores. We get it. It's Glee's signature tune. The song that started it all. But it's already been done again (at Regionals in Season 1), and again (when Rachel got callback for Funny Girl) and again (in the 100th episode). Enough is enough.
7. More original tunes. Lest viewers forget that back in the day Glee was the pioneer that made musical TV shows a solid bet on broadcast TV. However, in this post-Cop Rock era of Nashville, Galavant and Empire the Fox musical comedy is falling way behind in the original songs department. Working with seasoned music vets like T. Bone Burnett, Alan Menken and Timbaland, all three shows have churned out loads of pretty respectable, and sometimes downright catchy, tracks while Glee only has a handful of originals to its name. The show may be better known for mash-ups and original arrangements of covers (hello, "Toxic"), but it doesn't hurt to mix it up. After all, how many songs can rhyme "Wheaties" and "diabetes" the way Mercedes' breakthrough song "Hell to the No" does? The Season 6 premiere is, aptly, named after Glee's biggest original hit, "Loser Like Me," so here's hoping they have more where that came from on the way.
8. One more Mr. Schue rap, for old time's sake. Will may be great at pep talks, chalkboard lessons and rocking sweater vests, but unfortunately not everyone is so enthusiastic over his rapping abilities or, as some would say, lack thereof. But in Glee's early heyday, an episode wasn't complete without Mr. Schue awkwardly trying to relive his glory days and win cool points by busting out a rendition of "Gold Digger" or "Ice, Ice Baby." Sadly, the writers eventually got wind of the fan criticism, and Mr. Schue hasn't rapped in what feels like decades. Some of Glee's best jokes have come from the show poking fun at itself (see: pretty much the entire Season 2 premiere) so why not give Will one last dope verse and have some fun with it? At least to make him look fly in front of his kid?
9. An excuse for Sam to reprise his "White Chocolate" stripper persona. We're only human.
Glee's new season premieres Friday at 8/7c on Fox.
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