Ah, Westeros! This sprawling fantasy land truly has everything: dragons, giants, zombies, castles, an ever-shifting landscape of political intrigue, and, of course, lots and lots of naked people doing important business in their birthday suits.
From the wilds of the wintry landscape beyond the Wall, to the sunny climes of Dorne or Meereen, to the brothels and back alleys of King's Landing, it's impossible to miss the fact that folks in the Seven Kingdoms have a definite penchant for romping around with their clothes off (and cementing HBO's ongoing reputation for spicing up the average Sunday night with copious and perhaps-not-entirely-necessary nudity). Yet despite it being a truth universally acknowledged that Game of Thrones is a pretty naked show in general, the hard-working, butt-baring individuals who grant it that distinction too often go overlooked.
But not today! Below, we've rounded up the series' nude-est characters, for some well-deserved recognition.
12. Jon Snow
Heeeere's Jonny! In life, Jon Snow mostly hides his, er, light under a bushel of fur-lined cloaks (it's quite cold in the North, after all.) But in death, he was incredibly naked.
Poor, doomed, traitorous Shae died as she lived: in the buff.
Myranda's short arc on the series was comprised mostly sex scenes with Ramsay Bolton, which truly gives a whole new meaning to the term "gratuitous nudity."
Before he broke our hearts, he blew our minds by randomly appearing under a tree in full frontal Hodor.
8. This White Walker
We've seen a lot of this bare-chested Walker since the start of the series. We're also reasonably sure that he isn't wearing pants.
7. Daario Naharis
As Daenerys' boyfriend, it's Daario's duty (and his pleasure) to drop 'em on command.
If we're talking about naked folks in Westeros, we certainly can't forget Ros! The only surprising thing about her inclusion on this list is that she isn't in the top three.
Meanwhile, as the only male whore in King's Landing, Olyvar is far too busy to ever trifle with stupid nonsense like outerwear.
4. Theon Greyjoy
Understandably, Theon hasn't spent any screen time in his birthday suit since Ramsay Bolton cruelly deprived him of his ding-dong back in Season 3. But prior to that unfortunate turn of events, he was more nude, more often than any other guy on the show.
3. Cersei Lannister
Although Cersei holds the record for most time spent unclothed in a single stretch, that long, nude walk of shame only nets her a second runner-up position in the grand ranking of all-time nakedness.
2. Daenerys Targaryen
First of her name, mother of dragons, and the second-most-naked person in Westeros! Between her steamy trysts with various man-friends and a penchant for immolating her enemies and her own clothes at the same time, Daenerys reigns almost supreme when it comes to baring it all.
You've gotta hand it to Melisandre: what she lacks in overall screen time, she makes up for by stripping down virtually every time she's on camera. In all the seven kingdoms, there has never been a priestess more powerful... or more nude.
Game of Thrones airs Sundays at 9/8c on HBO.