Friends: The One with Danny DeVito...

Friends: The One with Danny DeVito as Phoebe's Stripper and Series Finale Encore Just two weeks after the anticlamactic end of "the greatest comedy ever," NBC pathetically pads its schedule with not one but two supersized episodes. I never thought I'd say it, but to quote Jon Stewart, whose Daily Show later tonight was a rerun of the one that aired two weeks ago: "I've never even watched that show and I'm sick of it." The Adventures of Seinfeld & Superman Speaking of NBC's post-Friends desperation, what's the deal with this highly touted Web flick starring former Peacock Net golden boy Jerry Seinfeld and a cartoon Superman voiced by Patrick Warburton (the actor who played Elaine's boyfriend Puddy on Seinfeld and has also portrayed another animated superhero, The Tick)? I guess diehard comic-book fans might get a kick out of discovering that the Man of Steel can't eat diner tuna fish ("Too much mayo — it makes me queasy), hook up a DVD player ("It's different than mine") or resist cheesy Broadway musicals ("It's Joel Siegel; we should trust him), but all those "clever" conceits were negated when Jerry whipped out his American Express card to replace his damaged new DVD player ("I'm invulnerable to damage, theft or things bouncing off of a superhero's chest within 90 days of purchase"). So, basically, a 10-minute commercial for AmEx is a Must-See TV "event"? I mean, what's up with that? CSI After working on a particularly tough case in which a rape victim ends up dead despite the team's best efforts to protect her from her at-large attacker, Sara gets pulled over for driving under the influence in the hard-hitting fourth-season finale of this intriguing (albeit sometimes far-fetched — c'mon, a human chimera who's a serial rapist-murderer played by Father of the Bride cutie George Newbern?) drama. Honestly, though, who wouldn't hit the bottle after all she's been through during the past several months? Earlier this season, we caught a glimpse of her vulnerable side (and possibly her painful past?) as she tried to comfort a young woman who had been assaulted. We also watched sad resignation engulf her as she realized that she and Grissom would never be romantically involved (his decision, not hers) and saw her bravely steel herself upon learning that Nick was recommended for a promotion over her. And who gets the call to pick her sorry butt up at the station? Gris, of course, who shows his rarely seen human side when he gingerly approaches Sara, takes her hand and reassuringly tells her that he'll take her home. It's anyone's guess how this new development is going to play out between the two next season, but I'm guessing that Greg will be getting more field work soon. Super Millionaire The most compelling part of this jacked-up version of the perpetually tedious "intellectual" game show isn't the significantly increased prize money (10 meelyon dohlars) or the addition of two lifelines ("Double-Dip" and the "Mysterious Three Wisemen" — who aren't so wise, it turns out). For me, it happened to be the notion that Reege may have finally hired a wardrobe person (no matching jewel-toned shirt and tie!). And I figured out where Regis can secure his next job when this dinosaur finally expires: He can teach those kids on American Idol how to stand in front of the upstage spotlights during their performances and keep the audience from becoming blinded during their performances. Unless that was AI's directors' intent all along...

Without a Trace Well, we all knew that Jack wasn't going to move to Chicago but who the hell knew his wife was going to tell him that she didn't want him to go with her because she didn't want to be married to him anymore?! Ouch. It's no secret that they were having marital troubles but I haven't seen a character so blindsided by his wife's loss of love for him since Billy Crystal lamented, "Mr. Zero knew," in When Harry Met Sally. Oh well, at least Jack has Samantha to console him — who could ignore the lingering longing in his eyes when they had their heart-to-heart last week? Or does he? That kind of soul-bearing exchange usually occurs when people feel secure enough to spill their guts only because they are pretty sure they'll never see each other again, and last we saw Sam, she had invited Martin to share a taxi with her after some serious flirting and a few after-work cocktails. And anyone who lives in NYC knows that no one volunteers to shlep Uptown unless they're interested in sharing more than just cab fare...

Leno Line of the Night "Controversy's still surrounding American Idol: Critics and viewers are complaining that the most talented people are being overlooked while less talented people go on to be stars. Welcome to show business!"