This past weekend, Saturday Night Live revealed its latest — and spookiest — creation: David S. Pumpkins (Tom Hanks), a spook-tacular man in a pumpkin suit who occupies 73 of the 100 floors in the "100 Floors of Frights" ride at the fictional Fright Nights.
In the sketch, a couple (played by Kate McKinnon and Beck Bennett) are taken on a scary elevator ride by Kenan Thompson. On each floor, they're presented with a "terrifying" ghost, murderer, or other creepy character... until Hanks appears, flanked by two "skeletons." He reveals his name is David Pumpkins (later to be revealed as David S. Pumpkins), the skeletons dance, and he asks, "any questions?"
Yeah, we got some questions, Mr. Pumpkins. 17 of them:
1. What does the "S" stand for? On my planet, it's not an "S," it stands for "Hope." But we assume the "S" in "David S. Pumpkins" stands for "scary," or "spooky," or "spooktacular," or maybe just "Stephen?" I dunno.
2. Is he from something? No, just this sketch.
3. Is he from a local commercial? No, we already covered that.
4. Who is David S. Pumpkins again? His own thang.
5. Yeah, but what about the skeletons? They're part of it.
6. Why is he a part of the ride? To do this:
7. Okay, but why did they go all in on David S. Pumpkins? As Keenan explains, it's 100 floors of frights, they're not going to be all winners.
8. Yeah, but 73 floors? That seems like poor planning.
9. What's on the other 27 floors? A hung lady ghost, a murderous waiter, and a Ring style ghost. There's also a chainsaw lady played by Leslie Jones, but she seems to be on one of the David S. Pumpkins floors, so we'll count her out.
10. What's up with the white stripe in David S. Pumpkin's hair? Did David S. Pumpkins get spooked by himself?
11. Where did David S. Pumpkins get the suit? This one actually has an answer, but the costume is currently unavailable.
12. Perhaps David S. Pumpkins bought every outfit himself? That seems likely. He has a brand to protect.
13. How about David S. Pumpkins' dance moves, where'd he get those? David S. Pumpkins probably got a lot of practice dancing on giant pianos.
14. What about the skeletons? Are they real skeletons? No. Of course not.
15. Is it a real elevator? No! Of course not. They made a sound, rumbled the floor a bit, and just cycled through the actors. Television isn't real.
16. Yeah, but how'd David S. Pumpkins transport himself from outside the elevator to inside the elevator at the end of the sketch? Easy: David S. Pumpkins is magic, the spirit of Halloween itself.
17. Now, what's his name?
Saturday Night Live airs on NBC at 11:30pm ET on, you know, Saturdays.