Arrested Development This isn't...

Arrested DevelopmentThis isn't a complaint, just an observation: So far this season, even more than the first two, the plot is just a very loose structure on which to build a bunch of silly jokes. George Sr.'s under house arrest and wants to plead not guilty at his upcoming hearing because he was really just a patsy for some Brits who set him up to build houses for Saddam Hussein. And somehow this premise gives us an opportunity to see George prefer prison to his wife's frisky advances; Gob plan an elaborate "protestacular" outside the courthouse; Tobias try out wigs and hair plugs in an effort to prove he's leading-man material for Gob's "prostaticular"; the whole family act like crazy "chickens" to make fun of Michael; Lindsay getting the only vehicle that could top the jet stairs, the cabin trailer; and a legal system in which you can hire TV lawyers like Andy Griffith or L.A. Law's Harry Hamlin to sit at your table and help your case. And then there's Michael's fateful trip to Wee Britain, Orange County, where he's "struck by something he remembered from childhood" and meets Charlize Theron's lovely Rita (yikes, what a name this week!). I wish I hadn't already gotten the scoop on the secret Rita's hiding, but I think everyone else can probably guess it has something to do with her being too good to be true, wearing a teddy-bear backpack and not cringing at Michael's painful attempts to joke with British phrases. Loved the line "Lucky for you, my whole face is British!"

Favorite little jokes of the night:
1) Buster's stub being blurred out like an obscene body part while he looks for his prosthetic hand.
2) George Michael explaining his "stupid" girl problem, "The girl isn't stupid; the problem is, and the narrator adding, "But if they had a child, it would be, because the girl was his cousin, Maeby."   Sabrina Rojas Weiss

Surface
Tuesday night, 8:22 pm. That's when they got me. If you were here last week, you know I was skeptical about this whole sea-monster situation and I must confess, I tuned in to Episode 2 with my eyes primed and ready to roll. And then I saw the baby beastie. How cute was that thing? I kinda want one to swim around in my bathtub and electrocute my goldfish. Yeah, yeah, so it'll grow up to eat aircraft carriers and possibly take over the Earth but lookit! With the blinky eyes and little flippers! Can we keep him?

Meanwhile, Dr. Laura (not that one), her son and Fisherman Rick snoop around the South Carolina coast trying to get a glimpse of the beached "whale" that's got the military's skivvies in a bunch. Poor impressionable Jesse, decked out in camouflage and crouching in a hagfish-filled swamp, finally has to wonder, "Mom, are we breaking the law?" You know whose kids don't have to ask that question? People who have baby-sitters. Just a suggestion.

One Life to Live and/or Judging Amy fans, can I get a what-what on that cruel bit of recasting from last week? As recently as the "previously on," Miles' mom was played by the delightfully sassy Jessica Tuck and within the first 15 seconds this week, whammo! Same pink suit, different blonde actress. I'm sure Mom No. 2 is perfectly capable, but my love for Megan Gordon Harrison knows no bounds. Joe Lando knows what I'm talking about.

Oh, and one other tidbit worth noting: When the big bad sea-beasties get blasted open with lasers, the force'll flay your face right off. Fortunately, the resulting oozy green wounds actually put you in a state of hibernation from which you'll emerge better stronger and the perfect draw to bring viewers back for Episode 3.   Chana Shwadlenak

Prison Break
To be continued? Are you kidding me? I mean, Michael is off to try to save the cute doctor, who is fighting off a slew of inmates. Lincoln who actually got to be physical instead of just brooding is following Mr. Big and Buff down a sketchy stairway into a death trap. Skeezy T-Bag is back from sick bay, has already found a new boy to hang on to his pocket and discovered that they were trying to break out. And worst of all, the really cute kitty escaped from his owner and is in the middle of this big prison melee. I've got to hand it to Sucre; for a guy who has spent his time in the slammer trying to lay low, he sure knows how to stir up a riot. He tells Michael to turn up the heat, literally. But the great part of this show is that the same guy who is trying to break free from jail and knows how to start a riot is afraid of Satan. And come on, even a religious guy should be happy he's destroying the Devil (or something like that) with the egg beater. I just can't wait till next week to find out if the poor newbie prison guard tattles, if Michael and/or Lincoln's escapades cost them their lives and if T-Bag can top his lewd line of the night: "You'll know when I want you to open your mouth." Seems pretty unlikely, but hey, with this show, you never know.   Angel Cohn