America's Next Top Model
Tonight's modeling lesson is on irony. For example: At first Nnenna
's boyfriend's demand to know if she'd been flirting with other guys was rather funny, considering that she's been surrounded by nothing but women, gay men and Nigel
(and I bet Tyra
and her lawyers keep a close watch on him
, lest he get in any Paula Abdulish mess). Oh, how ironic that it's already time for the hot-male-model episode! And suddenly, the sweet, intellectual chemist goes all wild and makes out with her model on the set. "He totally pitched a tent when they were in Africa," Joanie
, my favorite narrator, remarked. Good for you, Nnenna. That mustachioed BF in Houston looks a little beneath you, and he seems to know it. Irony No. 2: Janice Dickinson
, whose plastic surgery quite limits her facial expressions, and last year's reject Lisa
taught lessons in posing. But Janice gets megapoints for making whiny Gina
hop up and down on one foot while fake laughing, and for later trapping her with the by-now classic "Who's mean to you in the house? How dare you betray your fellow models!" one-two punch. "You're dead in my book!" she concluded. But Jade
? 1) You are not "on the same level" as Janice. 2) If you were, it wouldn't be something to brag about.
I'm not sure that whole tacky Sears ad warrants much comment. No doubt, the Sears wardrobe will go nicely with the Nanette Lepore ensembles Nnenna won before. The Tyra talk-show segment was equally gratuitous, except for the humor of irony No. 3: that models really want to be lawyers when they grow up. Of the subsequent "when I grow up" photo shoot, Joanie's Desperate Housewife impersonation was my favorite. Finally, I'm so glad Tyra decided that Brooke and her jaw have "All. The. Potential. In. The. World." Because Gina, her cheekbones and her insecurity (which I was beginning to suspect was actually a poor mask for plain old stupidity) were already dead in my book, too.