Illegal Aliens Reviews

David Giancola and Ben Coello's sci-fi spoof would have vanished without a trace had it not been released shortly after the death of its notorious leading lady, Anna Nicole Smith. Earth has been judged incapable of monitoring its own safety, so a galactic consortium has dispatched three shape-shifting bimbos -- Lucy (Anna Nicole Smith), Cameron (Lenise Soren) and Drew (Gladys Jimenez) -- to look after things. They take orders from a holographic representative named Syntax (Kevin McGuire) and secure employment as Hollywood stunt women. Three years later, escaped interplanetary convict Rex (Joanie Laurer, who wresyled under the name Chyna) lands in Manhattan and assumes control of a mob family. Syntax orders his trio to the Big Apple, where they investigate Rex’s hijacking of high-tech equipment: With the proper technology, Rex could build a Mega-gavitron and rule the universe! As the gals close in on Rex, bumbling INS agent Valentine (Michael J. Valentine), who’s actually with the CIA, butts in, and his meddling enables Rex to get away. With her trackers temporarily flummoxed, Rex kidnaps Dr. Max Sperling (Patrick Burleigh), inventor of the Syncotron; Max could provide Rex with the remaining part she needs for her Mega-gavitron. Amazingly, Lucy transforms herself into a helicopter, allowing the interplanetary cuties to fly to Max’s rescue. In the meantime, they discover that Rex has sabotaged Syntax’s microchips, and time-consuming repairs distract Drew and Cameron from the task at hand. When they finally land on Rex’s island headquarters, the alien-ettes discover that Rex intends to transform Lucy into a Syncotron component! Can Cameron and Drew throw a monkey wrench into this diabolical plan? The cast is game, but Coello – whose idea of sophisticated wit is to name his three leads after the actresses who starred in the CHARLIE'S ANGEL movies -- loads his screenplay with double entendres guaranteed to make viewers groan.