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Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episodes

15 Episodes 2014 - 2015

Episode 1

The Ol' Mexican Spinach

Thu, Oct 30, 201422 mins

While he and Alan prepare for Halloween, Walden, costumed as zombie Elvis, has a minor cardiac crisis. During home revalidation, he takes stock of his life and decides his fortune is worthless without an heir. Given his disastrous dating history, Walden hopes to adopt, but is told only couples are seriously considered. Alan, who hoped to be adopted as heir, gets a surprising alternative offer.

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Two and a Half Men, Season 12 Episode 1 image

Episode 2

A Chic Bar in Ibiza

Thu, Nov 6, 201421 mins

Alan's initial delight over billionaire Walden's marriage proposal subsides when Walden waves all trimming and it comes with a prenuptial. Their respective mothers push them to stand their ground, but a breakup makes both mates realize they don't want to be separated, so the 'non-sexual gay' couple's wedding is on.

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Two and a Half Men, Season 12 Episode 2 image

Episode 3

Glamping in a Yurt

Thu, Nov 13, 201421 mins

Now Walden is legally married to Alan, the 'gay' couple must prove themselves a stable pair to make his adoption application stick. So they practice what to say and even demonstrative physical intimacy, actually getting to Alan's taste. It all goes great during the adoption officer's home visit, except that Lyndsey turns up, drunk as a skunk and more eager to jump Alan's bones then to help their case, so she must be kept hidden.

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Two and a Half Men, Season 12 Episode 3 image

Episode 4

Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight

Thu, Nov 20, 201421 mins

After Walden child-proofs his beach-house, the final adoption agency officer visit, to ascertain the 'gay couple' has a stable home, is a triumph. She even announces unofficially that a birth mother has already selected them as prospective adoptive parents. It's a high-pregnant unmarried law student, who considers the pair of them perfectly complementary and promises them her unborn son so she can resume her planned lawyer career. Only when Herb, Larry and Barry accompany Walden and Alan to pick up 'their' son, she reconsiders while holding the bundle of joy in her arms.

Where to Watch
Two and a Half Men, Season 12 Episode 4 image

Episode 5

Oontz. Oontz. Oontz.

Thu, Nov 27, 201422 mins

To Walden's delighted surprise, the adoption agency already has a boy for the "gay couple" to foster indefinitely with a view to adoption: not a baby, but already-somewhat-cynical pre-teen Louis. Alan has mixed feelings about reliving his experiences with Jake and being called "the mom", but plays along, encouraging and comforting Walden, who tries too hard and hopes for too much too soon. The trio does start to bond; even Berta makes an actual effort for once, and Louis starts to hope for a real home.

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Episode 6

Alan Shot a Little Girl

Thu, Dec 4, 201421 mins

Walden and Alan finally get foster parenthood of Louis, but as Walden feared and social worker McMartin warned, the rascal is used to manipulate caregivers skillfully. Alan proves an easy prey for child pleas and tears, an most to the treat of being the cool parent, rather then having to control Jake. That forces generous Walden into the uncharacteristically unpopular part of the strict voice of reason, and strains the men's bond.

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Two and a Half Men, Season 12 Episode 6 image

Episode 7

Sex with an Animated Ed Asner

Thu, Dec 11, 201421 mins

Walden gets utterly exhausted by Louis's inexhaustible boy energy, so Alan suggests finding some playmates who can exhaust the rascal for them. Walden takes them to a playground, but Louis keeps insisting that Walden must play with him. Alan is luckier, as kids' mothers are eager to bond with a gay "father" and his "gay partner", potential best friends. Soon both co-parents have found girlfriends and must come clean about being straight.

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Two and a Half Men, Season 12 Episode 7 image

Episode 8

Family, Bublé, Deep-Fried Turkey

Thu, Dec 18, 201420 mins

Alan and Walden are having Christmas with Louis. They learn that he doesn't believe in Santa Claus. So Walden tries to prove him wrong. He gets a guy to play Santa and he will bring Louis' gift, a bike, which Rose told them he wants. Problem is the Santa he got, shows up drunk and Alan wanting to save money doesn't have the bike delivered assembled.

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Two and a Half Men, Season 12 Episode 8 image

Episode 9

Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey

Thu, Jan 8, 201521 mins

Walden and Louis's play-date Louise's mother are ready for sex, but he can't do it with Louis at home, and even in a hotel-room parental sensitivities prove excessive. Finding Alan in poor general shape, Herb drags him to the gym, where they meet Lyndsey, who won't be told by one ex to avoid the other, hence lands back in Herb's bed.

Where to Watch
Two and a Half Men, Season 12 Episode 9 image

Episode 10

Here I Come, Pants!

Thu, Jan 15, 201521 mins

Everything seems perfect for Walden, with hot lover Laurel and a doting foster son up for adoption in half a year. Then adoption officer McMartin, paying a routine visit, treated to Walden boxers-only, discovers the foster-paternal couple is everything but gay, and declares it her duty to take Louis away. Alan's attempt to talk her over in bed backfires. Yet Walden refuses to give up and hammers on the absurdity of not having gay sex disqualifying him and husband-buddy Alan as devoted father.

Where to Watch
Two and a Half Men, Season 12 Episode 10 image

Episode 11

For Whom the Booty Calls

Thu, Jan 22, 201521 mins

Alan is now happy as a clam as adoption officer McMartin's lover, but that only adds to Walden's stress for Louis's long-term benefit. Rather then answering his many questions about adoptive parenting, she refers him to a fathers support group. That male bonding without strings or clingy Alan is just what Walden needed, but when Walden hosts the group, his 'spunge spouse' wriggles in against explicit promises.

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Two and a Half Men, Season 12 Episode 11 image

Episode 12

A Beer-Battered Rip-Off

Thu, Jan 29, 201522 mins

Walden's worried how his "relationship" with Miss McMartin will affect his plans to adopt Louis. Alan's hoping Lyndsey will stay in L.A. now they are back together. But she already sold her house so Alan tries help her find a place to stay. But when she suggest they move in together Alan doesn't respond well. So Lyndsey decides to go to San Francisco. Later Alan and Walden talk and Walden says Alan doesn't want to move in with Lyndsey because he doesn't want to leave the house. And Alan tells Walden Miss McMartin is perfect for him. So they both try to get them back.

Where to Watch
Two and a Half Men, Season 12 Episode 12 image

Episode 13

Boompa Loved His Hookers

Thu, Feb 5, 201520 mins

In bed with adoption officer McMartin, Walden realizes she's a loon and ponders breaking up. Hearing that Alan turned down moving int a new home with Lyndsey to stay in the beach-house, Walden concludes they're wasting their best opportunities and risks telling the truth, as previous disastrous revelations didn't actually mes up the adoption. That works out for both of the men, or at least initially.

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Two and a Half Men, Season 12 Episode 13 image

Episode 14

Don't Give a Monkey a Gun

Thu, Feb 12, 201520 mins

Walden and Alan had decided some time ago that after Louis' adoption was over they would get a divorce for them to be able to marry other people eventually. Walden wants to get Alan a "thank you" gift for all he has done with helping Walden adopt Louis. So Alan decides to get himself a gift that will kind of ruin his relantionship with Lyndsey. However, Alan finds a way to win Lyndsey back in a very important and big decision that may change his and Walden's life...

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Two and a Half Men, Season 12 Episode 14 image

Episode 15

Of Course He's Dead: Part 1 & 2

Thu, Feb 19, 201538 mins

Alan gets a letter saying that Charlie has over two million in royalties. And he of course tries to get it but he needs Charlie's death certificate. So he goes to his mother to get it but she doesn't have it. And when Alan and his mother get packages and messages of a threatening nature, they wonder, is he really dead.

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Two and a Half Men, Season 12 Episode 15 image