Two and a Half Men
The Harper brothers Charlie and Alan are almost opposites but form a great team. They have little in common except their dislike for their mundane, maternally cold and domineering mother, Evelyn. Alan, a compulsively neat chiropractor and control-freak, is thrown out by his manipulative wife Judith who nevertheless gets him to pay for everything and do most jobs in the house. Charlie is a freelance jingle composer and irresistible Cassanova who lives in a luxurious beach-house and rarely gets up before noon. Charlie "temporarily" allows Alan and his son Jake, a food-obsessed, lazy kid who shuttles between his parents, to move in with them after Alan's separation/divorce. The sitcom revolves around their conflicting lifestyles, raising Jake (who has the efficient, caring dad while having a ball with his fun-loving sugar uncle who teaches him boyish things), and bantering with Evelyn and various other friends and family. Other fairly regular characters include Charlie's cleaning lady Berta and his rich, self-confessed stalker neighbor Rose who often sneaks in to spy on Charlie.
- Metascore67
- 2003-2015
- 12 seasons
- CBS
- Comedy, Drama
- TV-14
The Harper brothers Charlie and Alan are almost opposites but form a great team. They have little in common except their dislike for their mundane, maternally cold and domineering mother, Evelyn. Alan, a compulsively neat chiropractor and control-freak, is thrown out by his manipulative wife Judith who nevertheless gets him to pay for everything and do most jobs in the house. Charlie is a freelance jingle composer and irresistible Cassanova who lives in a luxurious beach-house and rarely gets up before noon. Charlie "temporarily" allows Alan and his son Jake, a food-obsessed, lazy kid who shuttles between his parents, to move in with them after Alan's separation/divorce. The sitcom revolves around their conflicting lifestyles, raising Jake (who has the efficient, caring dad while having a ball with his fun-loving sugar uncle who teaches him boyish things), and bantering with Evelyn and various other friends and family. Other fairly regular characters include Charlie's cleaning lady Berta and his rich, self-confessed stalker neighbor Rose who often sneaks in to spy on Charlie.
Season 10 Episode Guide
23 Episodes 2012 - 2013
Episode 1
I Changed My Mind About the Milk
Thu, Sep 27, 2012 22 mins
Video correspondence alleviates Alan's worries about Jake as bumbling soldier, the Army ways seem to work even on ultimate knaves. His own situation however seems to become critical, as Walden has decided to propose to Zoey, and mother Harper openly refuses to consider taking the a-unshakable parasite in. Despite literal and figurative fireworks, Walden's bended knee-offered ring is refused.
Episode 2
A Big Bag of Dog
Thu, Oct 4, 2012 21 mins
As if Zoey's proposal decline and Stanhope's childish taunting weren't bad enough for heart-broken Walden, her daughter Ava begs for him to attend her birthday party. Alan fears Walden may take his frustration out on him gets meanly locked out briefs-only by Bertha. A big dog plays a surprisingly big part.
Episode 3
Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt
Thu, Oct 11, 2012 22 mins
Alan is delighted to hear that Lindsey shares his fantasy, a threesome. Alas, she means two men, and chooses Walden, making that the condition for partaking in his dream, for which she gets him to choose a girl from a bar. To Alan's surprise, Walden accepts, hoping it will help him get over Zoey, but each time he's reminded of her proves unbearable, espied Lindsey's virtually exclusive attention in bed.
Episode 4
You Do Know What the Lollipop Is For
Thu, Oct 18, 2012 21 mins
Walden hosts his old friend Jerry's daughter Missi, a shameless vamp and unstoppable chatterbox. Alan was looking forward to Army base cook Jake's weekend leave, but the knave only has eyes for Missi, who surprisingly returns his attention, only to decline a long-term relationship. To Walden's surprise, she asks him to date... her mother.
Episode 5
That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam
Thu, Oct 25, 2012 20 mins
To get over Zoey, Alan encourages Walden to start dating again. Lyndsey offers to match him with her many "suitable" friends, but none turn out to be suitable. Then Walden bumps into Charlie's nemesis Rose, likes her, and refuses to take notice of Alan's warnings.
Episode 6
Ferrets, Attack!
Thu, Nov 1, 2012 21 mins
After blissful weeks with Rose, Walden invites her to move in. Just then Zoe returns, saying she dumped her lover in England and hopes to get Walden back. Alan triumphs sadly when his hitherto discarded warnings about crazy Rose come true, alas also biting him too, even literally. Private Jake has been promoted, despite incessant bumbling.
Episode 7
Avoid the Chinese Mustard
Thu, Nov 8, 2012 22 mins
In the library, Walden bumps into fresh, convincing would-be actress Whitney and hires her to pretend to be his girlfriend with no sex, only to come to like her too much not to want to know and regret the truth. Jake and Missi invite themselves to the beach house "coincidentally" and spend another hot weekend. To Alan's horror, the MP drops by looking for the AWOL private, who risks jail unless he returns to base that very day but doesn't seems to understand the risk, so "whisperer" Missi must get through.
Episode 8
Something My Gynecologist Said
Thu, Nov 15, 2012 22 mins
After dating now for several years, Lyndsey asks Alan for a commitment of some sort. If he can't or won't give her that commitment, she might consider exiting the relationship. Although Alan does love her, he has trouble providing that commitment. A chance meeting with Sid, an elderly man at a bar, could give Alan some perspective on the situation. Meanwhile, Walden borrows Alan's car to take his bike for repairs; when the car breaks down at the side of the highway, he's picked by Shari, a beautiful, wealthy woman driving a Bentley. They immediately start a sexual relationship on the premise that Walden is her toyboy, since he can't convince her that he too is wealthy. Walden considers what to do about their relationship after he learns that he is not her only toyboy.
Episode 9
I Scream When I Pee
Thu, Nov 29, 2012 20 mins
Ever-generous Walden decides that the traditional fat check isn't enough to celebrate lonely Berta's birthday, so he brings her space-cake and stays to help enjoy the effect. Meanwhile, Alan has won Lyndsey back, but faces a colossal jealousy risk when his second ex Kandi, now a hot TV star, wants to get together to talk.
Episode 10
One Nut Johnson
Thu, Dec 6, 2012 22 mins
Walden proves to Alan how systematically women switch into gold-digger mode as soon as they Google his Fortune rank:Alan's frank jealousy inspires Walden to "switch images." Through a fake Facebook page, Walden meets helpful single Kate, who actually dates the "pauper" him just for his killer charm--but makes clear in bed that she's big on honesty. Meanwhile, Alan enjoys posing as a billionaire and wriggles to get hold until further notice of some expensive attributes, yet is still only a classless minor babe-magnet.
Episode 11
Give Santa a Tail-Hole
Thu, Dec 13, 2012 22 mins
To maintain his poor man's cover, Walden can only help his destitute would-be-actress lover Kate, whose sewing machine breaks down, by taking an "honest" job as a Christmas-tree salesman; he proves to be good at it and enjoys it although it's exhausting. Jake cancels on Alan, leaving him all alone for Christmas and not consoled by the perks of Walden's fortune, so he craves a hug from Berta. Billy is eager to sell their "'lectric suitcase" to Zuckerberg for half a billion, but Walden stoically holds out for 1.2 while toiling cheerfully to earn peanuts.
Episode 12
Welcome to Alancrest
Thu, Jan 3, 2013 22 mins
Kate despairs about her fashion design ambitions, so Walden decides to invest $100,000. Alan, who spends Walden's money like water in "Alancrest", the beach house, still makes it convincingly hard on Kate. Meanwhile, all the stress has caused a problem Walden never experienced before--erectile dysfunction--so Alan takes him to "liberal" pharmacist Russell.
Episode 13
Grab a Feather and Get in Line
Thu, Jan 10, 2013 22 mins
Finding Walden a heart-broken wreck, Alan urges him to get fit again. The they fly to New York and try to get him back in Kate's life as himself, no longer pauper Sam. Alan can barely resist trying to cheat on Lindsey with the fashion models. Kate is shocked to find their identities were crossed and dumps Walden, but reconsiders while he gloomily wallows in despair, albeit in the style of the musicals Alan keeps pushing they should go see on Broadway.
Episode 14
Run, Steven Staven! Run!
Thu, Jan 31, 2013 22 mins
Alan, Walden, Billy, and Herb spend the night out together commiserating over their exes after Lyndsey dumps Alan yet again.
Episode 15
Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It
Thu, Feb 7, 2013 21 mins
Alan panics when he learns that Jake's latest "true love", Tammy, is a much-older mother of three. She visits, sporting the marks of her business, a tattoo parlor, which worries Alan even more; Walden merely asks what she sees in Jake. Her explanations and declared intentions actually make some sense, especially to Jake, who acts utterly leashed.
Episode 16
Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby
Thu, Feb 14, 2013 20 mins
Walden is delighted when Kate flies to L.A. and requests a Valentine's Day date. Alas--she only wants friendship, still prefers "Sam", and now has just as busy a calendar as Walden, so no next date can be booked Meanwhile, Alan decides to spoil Lyndsey for one Valentine's Day by booking a hotel suite he cannot afford, but she ends up driving him to hospital instead because of how he tried to prepare for the evening; and Kate's new business partner--Rose--lures her to China.
Episode 17
Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries
Thu, Feb 21, 2013 22 mins
Walden considers it's time to go looking for a partner. Although Alan claims he's attractive enough, he pays for an expensive dating agency's exclusive millionaires mixer. Alas most women participants prove impossible, so he ends up in bed with his first ex, Bridget. As Alan feared, she soon becomes more domineering then ever, starves Walden sexually 'for Tantric rewards' and insists on giving Alan and Berta marching orders.
Episode 18
The 9:04 from Pemberton
Thu, Mar 7, 2013 22 mins
Walden scolds Alan for wrecking his perfect toaster and pretending the cheap junk he bought as replacement is better--and it breaks down the first time. Mutual bluffing sees Alan move out, but Lyndsey won't take him in. Lonely Herb, his ex's ex, does, but fun at the miniature trains soon turns into anxiety about his host's mildly-sick mind. Lonely Walden decides, after talking to Jake, to make the first move, and even fears that it might be too late.
Episode 19
Big Episode: Someone Stole a Spoon
Thu, Mar 14, 2013 22 mins
Walden takes pity on lonely Herb after he took in Alan, enough to let him turn the beach-house into a party home. After a while, Walden tires of serial hangovers and puts an end to it. Herb resumes his orgies in a hotel-room, until Walden brings out the big gun.
Episode 20
Bazinga! That's From a TV Show
Thu, Apr 4, 2013 21 mins
Alan is worried when Jake presents his new love Ashley, after having given up a more-promising adult relationship. Walden's puzzled amusement, shared by Berta, grows with some admiration and commiseration as the clueless knave specifies that it's none other than her predecessor and mother, Tammy, who objects out of maternal concern, which Walden manages to soothe. Then her previous adult lover, super-slick TV ad car salesman Jerry, a businessman to Walden's taste, arrives: he wants Ashley back and refuses to leave without her.
Episode 21
Another Night with Neil Diamond
Thu, Apr 25, 2013 20 mins
Just now Alan believed to get his life in order, Lyndsey dumps him for a hot catch. Commiserating and mainly concerned he'll be stuck with Alan constantly, Walden tries to help and keep an eye on him. Herb also has his reasons to spy on the new couple.
Episode 22
My Bodacious Vidalia
Thu, May 2, 2013 21 mins
Desperate to get Alan out of his hair, Walden breaks his heartbroken gloom by spicing the suggestion of a make-over with the magic gesture: his limitless credit card. The result may still be tacky: it attracts an airhead gold-digger whose ancient, super-rich husband Victor is rarely even conscious. The smell of money soon helps Alan overcome any embarrassment about adultery around the sick husband.
Episode 23
Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped
Thu, May 9, 2013 22 mins
After meeting a very beautiful, but shallow and slow-minded young woman, Walden finds himself much more interested in dating her grandmother Linda. Jake makes an announcement about him leaving to Japan for a whole year, so Alan decides to take on final father-son trip to the Grand Canyon. Meanwhile, Walden is trying to figure out how to date Linda without her granddaughter finding out.