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Two and a Half Men

Episodes

24 Episodes 2011 - 2012

Following Charlie Sheen's departure from the show, Ashton Kutcher joins the cast for Season 9 as brokenhearted billionaire Walden Schmidt, who shows up at the beach house after a suicide attempt. Alan (Emmy winner Jon Cryer), distraught over Charlie's death—he was killed in a subway accident in Paris—bonds with the eccentric newcomer, who decides to buy the house and start a new life with Alan and Jake (Angus T. Jones). Alan desperately wants to get Lyndsey (Courtney Thorne-Smith) back, but has a hard time getting past the fact that she once starred in an adult film. He also suffers a mild heart attack, and in the hospital is visited by Charlie's ghost—now in the body of a woman (Kathy Bates, who won an Emmy for Outstanding Guest Actress in a Comedy Series). Meanwhile, Jake and Eldridge (Graham Patrick Martin) graduate from high school, but with few prospects make a decision about their future that will let them be all they can be. Guest stars include Sophie Winkleman, Judy Greer, Patton Oswalt and Jason Alexander.

Episode 1

Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt

Mon, Sep 19, 2011 30 mins

In Part 1 of a two-part ninth-season opener, Ashton Kutcher joins the cast as brokenhearted billionaire Walden Schmidt.

Where to Watch
Two and a Half Men, Season 9 Episode 1 image

Episode 2

People Who Love Peepholes

Mon, Sep 26, 2011 30 mins

In the conclusion of a two-part ninth-season opener, Judy Greer joins the cast as Bridget, Walden's ex-wife.

Where to Watch
Two and a Half Men, Season 9 Episode 2 image

Episode 3

Big Girls Don't Throw Food

Mon, Oct 3, 2011 30 mins

Alan gives dating advice to Walden as he prepares to go out with Bridget; and Jake decides to drop out of school because that's what Walden did.

Where to Watch
Two and a Half Men, Season 9 Episode 3 image

Episode 4

Nine Magic Fingers

Mon, Oct 10, 2011 30 mins

Walden looks for Mrs. Right, and Alan wants Lyndsey back in his life.

Where to Watch
Two and a Half Men, Season 9 Episode 4 image

Episode 5

Giant Cat Holding Churro

Mon, Oct 17, 2011 30 mins

Alan has trouble accepting Lyndsey's seedy movie past, and Walden tries to cheer him up by throwing a party.

Where to Watch
Two and a Half Men, Season 9 Episode 5 image

Episode 6

The Squat and the Hover

Mon, Oct 24, 2011 30 mins

Walden receives divorce papers, but then he meets a woman who looks just like Bridget.

Where to Watch
Two and a Half Men, Season 9 Episode 6 image

Episode 7

Those Fancy Japanese Toilets

Mon, Oct 31, 2011 30 mins

Jake develops a crush on his Japanese tutor, and his tutor has a crush on Walden. Meanwhile, Alan is fascinated by Charlie's journal, which Charlie left to him.

Where to Watch
Two and a Half Men, Season 9 Episode 7 image

Episode 8

Thanks for the Intercourse

Mon, Nov 7, 2011 30 mins

Walden redecorates, and the change unsettles Alan as it prompts him to think of losing Charlie.

Where to Watch
Two and a Half Men, Season 9 Episode 8 image

Episode 9

Frodo's Headshots

Mon, Nov 14, 2011 30 mins

Alan comes home from the hospital and encounters a series of daunting challenges.

Where to Watch
Two and a Half Men, Season 9 Episode 9 image

Episode 10

Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes

Mon, Nov 21, 2011 30 mins

Walden likes a British woman, but both Walden and the woman doubt that he's ready to date yet.

Where to Watch
Two and a Half Men, Season 9 Episode 10 image

Episode 11

What A Lovely Landing Strip

Mon, Dec 5, 2011 30 mins

Bridget reappears just as Walden is romancing a new love interest.

Where to Watch
Two and a Half Men, Season 9 Episode 11 image

Episode 12

One False Move, Zimbabwe!

Mon, Dec 12, 2011 30 mins

Alan falls for Walden's mom during her visit, in which she reveals a devastating secret from Walden's past.

Where to Watch
Two and a Half Men, Season 9 Episode 12 image

Episode 13

Slowly and in a Circular Fashion

Mon, Jan 2, 2012 30 mins

Walden's ex-wife and mother try to take control of his company, so he turns to Alan for help.

Where to Watch
Two and a Half Men, Season 9 Episode 13 image

Episode 14

A Possum on Chemo

Mon, Jan 16, 2012 31 mins

Zoe asks Walden for a favor.

Where to Watch
Two and a Half Men, Season 9 Episode 14 image

Episode 15

The Duchess of Dull-In-Sack

Mon, Feb 6, 2012 30 mins

Walden tries to get Zoey to relax by introducing her to Berta's "enhanced" brownies.

Where to Watch
Two and a Half Men, Season 9 Episode 15 image

Episode 16

Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy

Mon, Feb 13, 2012 30 mins

Tempers flare when Walden, Alan, Lyndsey and Zoey are trapped in the house during a storm for a sequestration that might result in another Valentine's Day massacre.

Where to Watch
Two and a Half Men, Season 9 Episode 16 image

Episode 17

Not In My Mouth!

Mon, Nov 17, 2008 30 mins

A brush with death drives a wedge between Walden and Zoey; Alan wonders about Lyndsey's drinking habits.

Where to Watch
Two and a Half Men, Season 9 Episode 17 image

Episode 18

The War Against Gingivitis

Mon, Feb 27, 2012 31 mins

Walden is taken aback when he gets a surprise visit from his bitter former business partner, who's looking to mend their differences.

Where to Watch
Two and a Half Men, Season 9 Episode 18 image

Episode 19

Palmdale, Ech

Mon, Mar 19, 2012 30 mins

Alan and Lyndsey's mothers meet for the first time; Jake and Eldridge want Walden to drive them to a party.

Where to Watch
Two and a Half Men, Season 9 Episode 19 image

Episode 20

Grandma's Pie

Mon, Apr 9, 2012 30 mins

Walden tells Zoey his new business partner is his ex-wife, Bridget; Alan and Lyndsey struggle to get used to their mothers' relationship.

Where to Watch
Two and a Half Men, Season 9 Episode 20 image

Episode 21

Mr. Hose Says "Yes"

Mon, Apr 16, 2012 30 mins

Walden's relationship is put to the test when Zoey and her daughter become his new housemates. Meanwhile, Alan moves in with Lyndsey.

Where to Watch
Two and a Half Men, Season 9 Episode 21 image

Episode 22

Why We Gave Up Women

Mon, Apr 30, 2012 30 mins

Kathy Bates guest stars as Charlie's ghost when Alan is hospitalized following a minor heart attack.

Where to Watch
Two and a Half Men, Season 9 Episode 22 image

Episode 23

The Straw in My Donut Hole

Mon, May 7, 2012 30 mins

Alan gets out of the hospital and is greeted warmly by his loved ones, but Zoey wonders what the fuss is about.

Where to Watch
Two and a Half Men, Season 9 Episode 23 image

Episode 24

Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!

Mon, May 14, 2012 30 mins

In the ninth-season finale, Jake makes an important decision about his future after graduating from high school.

Where to Watch
Two and a Half Men, Season 9 Episode 24 image