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Two and a Half Men Season 8 Episodes
Season 8 Episode Guide
16 Episodes 2010 - 2011
Episode 1
Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud
Mon, Sep 20, 201022 mins
Hung over Charlie wakes up on the stairs, without trousers, which are later found in his mailbox with postage attached. His inability to remember the night before is a wake-up call to stop drinking, but his definition excludes beer and wine. Charlie and Berta are proud about two girls sneaking out of Jake's room early in the morning, but Alan is angry. As Charlie predicted, that makes it far worse when Jake and Eldridge find out that Alan slept with Lyndsey and snuck out through her window. Herb is both impressed and jealous when he learns about Alan and Lyndsey and shares a secret about Lyndsey with Charlie.
Episode 2
A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer
Mon, Sep 27, 201022 mins
When Lyndsey asks Alan to move in with her, Charlie will do anything to get Alan to say "yes".
Episode 3
A Pudding-Filled Cactus
Mon, Oct 4, 201021 mins
Charlie is not amused when Alan, who finally moved in with Lyndsey, returns to his beach house for 'goodbye sex' with Melissa, who thinks he still lives there. Although Lyndsey offers Alan all he's ever wanted, he still can't resist meeting Melissa in the 'love nest', no matter what Charlie tries. When Melissa turns up unexpectedly, disaster strikes for all, even in Charlie's, for once, utterly innocent crotch.
Episode 4
Hookers, Hookers, Hookers
Mon, Oct 11, 201022 mins
After Alan's pipe sets fatal fire to Lyndsey's home, Charlie unhappily takes in the couple and their sons but keeps insisting that they should be able to move back soon, and orders a silent comfort girl. When Alan finally realizes he's unlikely to be forgiven, he visits the burned-out ruins, where Charlie already drinks with Lyndsey's ex Chris, Judith's husband Herb, and adult pizza-boy Gordon, a cocktail which proves most cruel to Alan.
Episode 5
The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel
Mon, Oct 18, 201022 mins
Charlie is off to Las Vegas, allegedly to enjoy some time away from Alan and Jake, but actually to have discreet cosmetic surgery. Back home, Alan finds an envelope of cash that Charlie forgot to take with him, borrows his clothes and pretends to be Charlie to score dates in bars. However, Gretchen, who he picks up in a bar, already knows Charlie and the beach house.
Episode 6
Twanging Your Magic Clanger
Mon, Oct 25, 201022 mins
Charlie takes his dermatologist, Michelle, on a movie date that ends at her house. He has second thoughts about dating her after learning that she's 47 and tells her that he doesn't think he's ready for another relationship because he's not sure that he's over Chelsea, but changes his mind when he meets her beautiful, bisexual 20-year-old daughter, Shauna. Fearing he'll end up doing it with both, he starts to leave but overhears Shauna on the phone, breaking up. Charlie asks her if she's ever considered dating an older man and she tells him that she once dated an old man of 35, but was sickened by it because it was like sleeping with a grandfather. Charlie goes back inside, telling Michelle the good news that he's over Chelsea. Meanwhile, Alan, not wanting his nearly expired erection pills to go to waste, ceaselessly masturbates in every room of the house and even in his car, in the garage.
Episode 7
The Crazy Bitch Gazette
Mon, Nov 1, 201020 mins
Despite skepticism from Alan, Jake, Evelyn and Berta, Charlie continues his affair with Michelle. Rose reappears and announces her upcoming wedding to fashion industry executive Manny Quinn. Michelle is willing to put up with Charlie's drinking, womanizing and gambling but his stalker, Rose, is too much. Alan is convinced of Rose's upcoming nuptials, but Charlie needs proof. At the church, they see Rose and Manny Quinn at the altar.
Episode 8
Springtime on a Stick
Mon, Nov 8, 201022 mins
In a drunken stupor, Charlie ruins Jake's evening with cute classmate Megan, just as they are getting physical. Jake swears revenge. The next day, Alan and Jake are at Evelyn's house and Jake has a diabolical idea: he convinces Alan to invite Evelyn to the house for a birthday dinner on Sunday while Jake is at Judith's. That Sunday, Evelyn drinks and drags her sons to the drug store, where Charlie hopes to set her up with pharmacist Russell, given their matching vices. Charlie tells the perpetually stoned Russell to "bring whatever he wants" and he does, to Charlie's aggravation and Evelyn's dismay, but Evelyn finds a way to have a good time despite it all.
Episode 9
A Good Time in Central Africa
Mon, Nov 15, 201022 mins
Charlie is too drunk even to notice who asks him for cash and why, or to remember that Berta arranged a stand-in cleaner during her family-reunion weekend. When temp Esmerelda arrives, her luxury-suite treatment delights Charlie utterly, but he lacks the courage to fire Berta. Meanwhile, Alan's delight when Lyndsey leaves her ex Chris again turns to terror when Chris seems to be stalking him.
Episode 10
Ow, Ow, Don't Stop
Mon, Nov 22, 201030 mins
Charlie goes on a spending spree for his old fling Courtney, who shows up after three years in prison for conning him out of money.
Episode 11
Dead from the Waist Down
Mon, Dec 6, 201022 mins
Charlie reaches the limit of his generosity towards Courtney when she spends his money lavishly on Jake, who also milks his parents. Alan insists on earning money for Lyndsey's birthday gift himself rather than accept money from Charlie. After grueling days of offering professional massages in a mall and then losing the meager earnings on fake pearls, he can't resist stealing back the diamond earrings he once bought for Judith.
Episode 12
Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead
Mon, Dec 13, 201021 mins
The mischievous magic between Charlie and Courtney suddenly wears out, so they agree to part. His behavior becomes odder than even his household is used to, and picking up girls doesn't come as easily anymore, so Alan convinces him to seek therapy again. There the theory is advanced that he seeks excuses to avoid commitment.
Episode 13
Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup
Mon, Jan 3, 201121 mins
Charlie and Lyndsey discover that they have things in common, like gambling, but agree not to trouble Alan, who gets jealous for nothing. When her burned-down home is finally fixed up, she plans a housewarming party. Alan's jealousy and ingratitude to Charlie to the point of opposing inviting him are the only vices Lyndsey won't tolerate. Alan initially plans to stay home alone, but ultimately he can't resist spying, which also exposes him to an inhospitable lurking skunk.
Episode 14
Lookin' for Japanese Subs
Mon, Jan 17, 201130 mins
Charlie is amused, inspiring and genuinely supportive, unlike worried Alan, when Jake and Eldridge start a website to promote 'Dumbass', their even worse version of Jackass. After meeting Rose 'after her honeymoon', the forbidden fruit-effect reduces Charlie to painful efforts to stalk her beach-house, only to be 'allowed' to 'seduce her into adultery'.
Episode 15
Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak
Mon, Feb 7, 201122 mins
Alan convinces Charlie to lend him $5,000 to start advertising, like a former college mate, for whom that tripled chiropractor earnings. As soon as people believe it works, they offer to invest too. Since Charlie gets a refund with 'turbo profit', all are eager to invest back and more in a pyramid system. Meanwhile Charlie's gently jealous pizza-boy Gordon discovers Rose's husband Manny Quinn is just a mannequin, but Charlie fails to get repeated clues.
Episode 16
That Darn Priest
Mon, Feb 14, 201130 mins
A guilty conscience and the risk of being discovered drive Alan to seek forgiveness for his pyramid scheme in Confession, but finding the penance too steep and counter-blackmailing Rose too easy, he opts for just refunding. Meanwhile, Charlie wants to seduce Rose to divorce for his sake, leaving him too blind to smell a rat when he finds the mannequin in her closet.