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Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episodes
Season 2 Episode Guide
24 Episodes 2004 - 2005
Episode 1
Back Off Mary Poppins
Mon, Sep 20, 200421 mins
Charlie is having some friends over to his house for a gathering but Alan is not invited. Things get worse for Alan when he is also not invited to Judith's party even though her guests are Alan's friends.
Episode 2
Enjoy Those Garlic Balls
Mon, Sep 27, 200422 mins
Alan is hurt when he finds out that Judith is seeing Jake's pediatrician. Meanwhile, Evelyn tries to find out why Charlie hates her.
Episode 3
A Bag Full of Jawea
Mon, Oct 4, 200420 mins
After Jake flips off his teacher, Alan and Judith move to punish him. Charlie, meanwhile, has other plans for Jake's teacher. Chaos ensues when Jake discovers the relationship and the increasingly overbearing Miss Pasternak tells Charlie she believes God brought them together.
Episode 4
Go Get Mommy's Bra
Mon, Oct 11, 200422 mins
After Charlie reluctantly lends Evelyn his new car, he later discovers her bra in the back seat. Meanwhile, Alan is forced to compensate after Jake gets attached to Judith's rich and talented boyfriend.
Episode 5
Bad News from the Clinic
Mon, Oct 18, 200422 mins
Charlie is dating a self-assured woman who plays hard to get, easily dismisses him and he finds it disarming. Rose gets Charlie to see that his new lady friend, Sherri, is in his head because she is just like him: a self-centered, manipulative narcissist. Charlie debates breaking it off. Alan and Jake have a battle of wills over Jake doing his homework.
Episode 6
The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance
Mon, Oct 25, 200422 mins
After confessing responsibility for a childhood shoplifting incident blamed on Alan, Charlie seeks the forgiveness of his now-infuriated brother.
Episode 7
A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana
Mon, Nov 8, 200422 mins
Evelyn announces she is receiving an honor from the real estate industry and that Charlie and Alan will host a party in her honor. Mayhem ensues when Berta and her sister agree to cater the event, but sibling rivalry takes center stage.
Episode 8
Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers
Mon, Nov 15, 200422 mins
Alan gets carried away with a woman he met at the supermarket, and it's up to Charlie to talk some sense into him while shielding Jake and Judith from what's going on.
Episode 9
Yes, Monsignor
Mon, Nov 22, 200422 mins
Charlie runs into a newly divorced ex, now single mom, who's willing to give him another shot. Back home, Jake tries to self-diagnose his learning problems.
Episode 10
The Salmon Under My Sweater
Mon, Nov 29, 200421 mins
Charlie struggles to write a jingle for a new cartoon. Meanwhile, Alan spends time with Rose and Jake procrastinates doing a book report.
Episode 11
Last Chance to See Those Tattoos
Mon, Dec 13, 200422 mins
Charlie sets out to find who started a derogatory web site about him. Meanwhile, Alan overhears something he shouldn't on Jake's webcam.
Episode 12
A Lung Full of Alan
Mon, Jan 3, 200522 mins
After hearing from former schoolmate Jamie Eckleberry, who's passing through LA, Charlie and Alan show little interest until they find out the former ugly duckling matured into a beautiful, sexy woman. She even proves to be flirtatious and Alan begs Charlie to let him have her, so Charlie tries to pass her up, but she insists on flattering both and flirting with each. Alan tries bringing in 'adorable son' Jake to tip the scales in his favor, but, naturally, that backfires. In the end, she reveals a pathological trauma that spoils it for all.
Episode 13
Zejdz z Zmoich Wlosów
Mon, Jan 17, 200521 mins
Tensions rise after an earthquake displaces Judith to Charlie's house.
Episode 14
Those Big Pink Things with Coconut
Mon, Jan 31, 200522 mins
Evelyn's condescending attitude towards Jake's good grades sets Charlie and Alan out for revenge.
Episode 15
Smell the Umbrella Stand
Mon, Feb 7, 200522 mins
Charlie and Alan need a vacation, so Charlie suggests a weekend in Las Vegas. Dreading his upcoming colonoscopy, Alan agrees but must take Jake along. Alan plans the trip down to the most minute detail, delaying their departure and irritating Charlie. Jake gets sick from over-eating junk food, so Alan wants to cancel. Judith becomes livid when she finds out about the intended trip and threatens Alan with legal consequences. Berta, thinking everyone is in Las Vegas, invites her friends to the house for a party, but gets caught. Charlie bribes Alan's proctologist to pull a revenge prank.
Episode 16
Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?
Mon, Feb 14, 200522 mins
Alan pays Judith such generous alimony, which he can barely afford, that she can go on vacation to Hawaii for a week and dump Jake on him, without warning. Jake is caught in the rain when Alan forgets to pick him up after his soccer game. After remembering to get Jake, Alan finds month-old mail that Charlie had forgotten about on the floor of Charlie's car during the drive home. Included in the forgotten mail is a notice to Alan of an IRS audit scheduled for the following day, which means it's up to Charlie to take Jake to school. Charlie doesn't know where Jake's school is and they arrive an hour late, at which time Jake informs Charlie that he needs a Benjamin Franklin costume for the school play that afternoon. Jake is caught in the rain again when Charlie forgets to pick him up after school. It takes Alan all day to convince the IRS that he does, in fact, pay Judith as much alimony as he claims on his taxes and he doesn't get back home until after dark, at which time he and Charlie remember about picking up soaking wet Jake from school. After the three get back home, Alan remembers that Jake isn't the only one who was forgotten.
Episode 17
Woo-Hoo, a Hernia-Exam!
Mon, Feb 21, 200522 mins
Berta deals with Jake's total lack of bathroom cleanliness in her own blunt way: she confiscates his toilet seat until he painstakingly redeems himself by slaving away at her job, cleaning by hand all day. Charlie cries out for help in agony: his back has gone out during sex, but he refuses his long-ridiculed brother's professional chiropractor's help and insists that Alan take him to his conventional Jewish doctor, Dr. Schwartz, in Beverly Hills. The doctor is hard to find because Charlie can only remember his receptionist's first name and when they find his office, they learn that the doctor has passed away. But Charlie is happy to discover that Dr. Schwartz's successor is a young female, attractive enough to cause Charlie to forget his pain even before she gives him a injection of Demerol. Alas, she is only happy to give him a hernia exam for an unprofessional reason from the past.
Episode 18
It Was Mame, Mom
Mon, Mar 7, 200522 mins
Charlie pretended to be gay so he could flirt innocently with his main client, Eric, whom he told he was engaged to avoid a proposal. Invited to Eric's party, he needs a fake partner and commandeers Alan, whose posh demeanor comes across as gay, but Alan overplays, even turning jealous. Charlie has the hots for Eric's ex-wife, Pamela, and finds keeping up the charade impossible, yet the stress makes him erectile-dysfunctional while she won't believe he's straight.
Episode 19
A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise
Mon, Mar 21, 200522 mins
When Charlie takes his brother's request to throw him a piece of toast literally, it hits Alan in the eye, so Charlie has to drive one-eyed Alan to work and Jake to school. At Starbucks, Charlie bumps into ex-girlfriend Sherri and surprises Alan by not remembering why he dumped such a beautiful woman and then encouraging Alan to ask her out on a date. Alan fumbles his words talking to her, yet she shows interest and agrees to a date, to Charlie's utter surprise. Charlie coaches Alan with some helpful hints, such as getting her drunk instead of yourself, being distant and suave, etc. But after one second in her presence, Alan reverts to a clumsy, lovesick puppy. Sherri says that she's had enough of womanizers like Charlie and would rather have a real relationship. Explaining his dating life to Jake is a wasted effort, Jake is more interested in the potential of toast as a projectile. After more tips from Charlie, Alan's next date with Sherri leads to her bedroom but she finds Alan can't stop thinking and talking about Charlie having been with her before him. As she throws Alan out, she asks him to return a CD that Charlie had left behind, with a disastrous result.
Episode 20
I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey
Mon, Apr 18, 200522 mins
Judith is nagging Alan and Evelyn is nagging Charlie, leading the brothers to take their frustrations out on each other. Rose witnesses Charlie contaminating Alan's burgers with spit and armpit sweat while barbequeing lunch, so, in an effort to end their war, she volunteers her services as an amateur student of psychology and her psychoanalysis brings back childhood memories of when Charlie abused his kid brother both verbally and physically, with cruel pranks and wedgies. Charlie finally admits to having been jealous of Alan for being an 'A' student and their parents' favorite. They make up, but then Judith shows up at the door at the same time that Evelyn calls Charlie on the phone and the hostilities resume.
Episode 21
A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On
Mon, May 2, 200521 mins
While visiting Charlie's house, Evelyn is reading the obituaries, looking for potential real estate clients, and finds that Harry, one of her her ex-husbands, has died. Charlie and Alan are surprised when Evelyn starts crying and reveals that she truly loved him. Charlie and Alan liked Harry, so they accompany their mother to the funeral. On the way there, Evelyn reveals that their marriage ended when Harry left her for a younger woman. At the funeral, Evelyn sees the 'younger woman', who reveals that Harry left *her* for yet another younger woman, in whom Charlie takes an immediate interest. Evelyn delivers an insulting eulogy, which includes calling Harry's young widow a slut. Meanwhile, Jake is constantly playing games on his new GameBoy, somehow loses it inside the casket and Alan has to retrieve it.
Episode 22
That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother
Mon, May 9, 200522 mins
Alan borrows money from Evelyn to buy a Porsche, hoping to be cool, but Charlie says his red Boxter is a chick car. Judith finds out Alan bought a new Porsche and wants to renegotiate her alimony and child support. As Charlie predicted, Evelyn's loan comes with a catch: Alan is coerced into a blind dinner date with Evelyn, her client and the client's daughter, Trudy, who is on her first weekend pass from a rehab center in Palm Springs. Evelyn and Trudy's father cancel and Alan is left alone with Trudy, who relapses at the restaurant, drinking wine and cocktails from neighboring tables. In desperation, Alan takes the wild, out of control Trudy back to Charlie's house, hoping for advice. Alan leaves her, passed out, in his new car while he goes inside to ask Charlie for help and they hear the car start up and speed away. After realizing that Alan left the keys in the ignition, they watch Trudy on TV, slowly destroying the Porsche, piece by piece, during a high-speed pursuit on the freeway.
Episode 23
Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab
Mon, May 16, 200521 mins
After learning that Jake spent a week camping with his other grandparents, an upset Evelyn demands equal time. Alan and Charlie reluctantly agree to let Jake spend a week with Evelyn, who immediately backpedals, at first attempting to indefinitely postpone the visit before agreeing to let Jake spend the night. Alan and Charlie leave Jake at Evelyn's and then, feeling guilty about leaving him with the woman who traumatized them as children, go to a bar to drink the guilt away but a women's beach volleyball team gets their attention instead. Meanwhile, Evelyn tries to introduce Jake to fine food such as sushi or squab, but Jake prefers his usual spaghetti with ketchup and the evening goes downhill from there. Overwhelmed by guilt, Alan and Charlie return to Evelyn's house to get Jake before she can emotionally damage him and find a haggard Evelyn on the couch, drinking and defeated. Back home, Alan and Charlie have a new respect for Jake, the "Chosen One" who broke her.
Episode 24
Does This Smell Funny to You
Mon, May 23, 200521 mins
Jake amuses the class, but embarrasses his teacher, with an oral report about his weekend. When mother Judith dropped him off, she sneered at the brothers they have a role model function in the weekend, which doesn't fit with teaching Jake to play for Caesars's Palace chips, that may even have serious legal consequences for Alan- who gets a cane punched in the stomach when admitting his name is Harper to Norman, the old husband of Charlie's latest foxy catch, Nathalie, who didn't mention being married. Jake notices very little and understood nothing, absorbed by the search for his lost Gameboy. After Norman punched Charlie on every foot and gave him a gloomy lecture, being a former 'player' himself, he bumps into mother Evelyn, who sends the family and Bertha to the movies and does it with the old coot on Charlie's well-tried couch. Jake's report experience makes nice breakfast conversation at home, but Alan really is't comfortable to hear the boy's notes are at Judith's...