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Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episodes
Season 2 Episode Guide
24 Episodes 2004 - 2005
Episode 1
Back Off Mary Poppins
Mon, Sep 20, 200421 mins
Charlie is having some friends over to his house for a gathering but Alan is not invited. Things get worse for Alan when he is also not invited to Judith's party even though her guests are Alan's friends.
Episode 2
Enjoy Those Garlic Balls
Mon, Sep 27, 200422 mins
Alan is hurt when he finds out that Judith is seeing Jake's pediatrician. Meanwhile, Evelyn tries to find out why Charlie hates her.
Episode 3
A Bag Full of Jawea
Mon, Oct 4, 200420 mins
After Jake flips off his teacher, Alan and Judith move to punish him. Charlie, meanwhile, has other plans for Jake's teacher. Chaos ensues when Jake discovers the relationship and the increasingly overbearing Miss Pasternak tells Charlie she believes God brought them together.
Episode 4
Go Get Mommy's Bra
Mon, Oct 11, 200422 mins
After Charlie reluctantly lends Evelyn his new car, he later discovers her bra in the back seat. Meanwhile, Alan is forced to compensate after Jake gets attached to Judith's rich and talented boyfriend.
Episode 5
Bad News from the Clinic
Mon, Oct 18, 200422 mins
Charlie is dating a self-assured woman who plays hard to get, easily dismisses him and he finds it disarming. Rose gets Charlie to see that his new lady friend, Sherri, is in his head because she is just like him: a self-centered, manipulative narcissist. Charlie debates breaking it off. Alan and Jake have a battle of wills over Jake doing his homework.
Episode 6
The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance
Mon, Oct 25, 200422 mins
After confessing responsibility for a childhood shoplifting incident blamed on Alan, Charlie seeks the forgiveness of his now-infuriated brother.
Episode 7
A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana
Mon, Nov 8, 200422 mins
Evelyn announces she is receiving an honor from the real estate industry and that Charlie and Alan will host a party in her honor. Mayhem ensues when Berta and her sister agree to cater the event, but sibling rivalry takes center stage.
Episode 8
Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers
Mon, Nov 15, 200422 mins
Alan gets carried away with a woman he met at the supermarket, and it's up to Charlie to talk some sense into him while shielding Jake and Judith from what's going on.
Episode 9
Yes, Monsignor
Mon, Nov 22, 200422 mins
Charlie runs into a newly divorced ex, now single mom, who's willing to give him another shot. Back home, Jake tries to self-diagnose his learning problems.
Episode 10
The Salmon Under My Sweater
Mon, Nov 29, 200421 mins
Charlie struggles to write a jingle for a new cartoon. Meanwhile, Alan spends time with Rose and Jake procrastinates doing a book report.
Episode 11
Last Chance to See Those Tattoos
Mon, Dec 13, 200422 mins
Charlie sets out to find who started a derogatory web site about him. Meanwhile, Alan overhears something he shouldn't on Jake's webcam.
Episode 12
A Lung Full of Alan
Mon, Jan 3, 200522 mins
After hearing from former schoolmate Jamie Eckleberry, who's passing through LA, Charlie and Alan show little interest until they find out the former ugly duckling matured into a beautiful, sexy woman. She even proves to be flirtatious and Alan begs Charlie to let him have her, so Charlie tries to pass her up, but she insists on flattering both and flirting with each. Alan tries bringing in 'adorable son' Jake to tip the scales in his favor, but, naturally, that backfires. In the end, she reveals a pathological trauma that spoils it for all.
Episode 13
Zejdz z Zmoich Wlosów
Mon, Jan 17, 200521 mins
Tensions rise after an earthquake displaces Judith to Charlie's house.
Episode 14
Those Big Pink Things with Coconut
Mon, Jan 31, 200522 mins
Evelyn's condescending attitude towards Jake's good grades sets Charlie and Alan out for revenge.
Episode 15
Smell the Umbrella Stand
Mon, Feb 7, 200522 mins
The brothers need a booster, so Charlie decides on a weekend in Las Vegas. Fatalistic dramatizing his colonoscopy, Alan agrees but can only come with Jake and plans like an expedition till Charlie duly slaps him soundly. Jake however is sick from over-eating even by his Berta-standard, a second vomit round can't be ignored again, so he must be nursed while his mother still manages somehow to blame the brothers. Berta invited a while gang to party, but now gets caught. Charlie pays the surgeon for a payback prank.
Episode 16
Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?
Mon, Feb 14, 200522 mins
Alan pays his ex Judith such generous alimony, which he can barely afford, that she can go on holiday to Hawaii for a week and dump their son Jake on him, barely announced. As usual the Harper brothers grin and bear their cross (Jake) as good as they can, which isn't quite good enough, for one thing because the boy is not too helpful and hopelessly forgetful, reason enough for maid Berta to award herself a permanent raise. The brothers aren't much better: they manage to forget picking up Jake at school, once each; Alan, because his workload kills him; then Charlie, because he has to bring Jake to school while Alan desperately tries to convince the IRS that he pays Judith about every cent he earns; of course everything goes wrong too...
Episode 17
Woo-Hoo, a Hernia-Exam!
Mon, Feb 21, 200522 mins
Berta deals with Jake's total lack of bathroom hygiene in her own blunt way: she confiscates his toilet seat until he painstakingly redeems himself by slaving away at her job, cleaning by hand all day. Charlie cries out for help in agony: his back has gone out during another duo-roll in bed, but at the last moment he shies away from his long-ridiculed brother's professional chiropractor's help and insists that Alan take him to his conventional Jewish doctor in Beverly Hills. This noble man is hard to find because Charlie can only remember his receptionist's first name--and when he gets there Dr. Schwartz turns out to be dead. But Charlie is happy to discover that Dr. Schwartz's successor is a young female, attractive enough to forget his pain even before she injects Demerol in his butt. Alas, she is only happy to see him drop trou for an unprofessional reason from the past.
Episode 18
It Was Mame, Mom
Mon, Mar 7, 200522 mins
Charlie pretended to be gay so he could flirt innocently with his main client, Eric, whom he told he was engaged to avoid a proposal. Invited to Eric's party, he needs a fake partner and commandeers Alan, whose posh demeanor comes across as gay, but Alan overplays, even turning jealous. Charlie has the hots for Eric's ex-wife, Pamela, and finds keeping up the charade impossible, yet the stress makes him erectile-dysfunctional while she won't believe he's straight.
Episode 19
A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise
Mon, Mar 21, 200522 mins
When Charlie takes his brother's request to throw him a piece of toast literally, it is caught straight in Alan's eye, so Charlie should now drive him to work and Jake to school. At Starbucks Charlie bumps into Sherry and surprises Alan by not even remembering why he ever dumped such a foxy female, and just gets encouraged to give it a go himself. Alan literally has trouble uttering the first word, yet she shows interest and gives him a date, to Charlie's utter surprise. Without any jealousy, cool brother coaches the stick(ler) how to be smart (get her drunk, not yourself), distant, suave etc., but one second in her presence suffices to revert Alan to a clumsy, lovesick puppy; she explains to be tired of womanizers like Charlie, rather wants a real relationship. Reassuring explanations to Jake are wasted effort: his father's love-life loses out on interest against the potential of toast as a projectile, given Alan's black eye. More cool tips from Charlie, next date reaches her bedroom and undressing, but she finds Alan can't stop thinking and talking about Charlie ...
Episode 20
I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey
Mon, Apr 18, 200522 mins
Charlie and Alan' latest fraternal rowing, with head smacks, seems childish even to Jake. Rose 'volunteers' her services as never-graduated student of psychology. Nevertheless, the unprofessional 'psycho-analysis' gets them to recall their childhood, when Charlie meanly abused his kid brother verbally, with pranks and wedgies ..., but actually was jealous of Alan being every elder's favorite and soon A-student, and still resorts to spitting or worse on wiseguy Alan's barbecue hamburgers. They sort of make up, until mother Evelyn calls.
Episode 21
A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On
Mon, May 2, 200521 mins
The brothers are surprised their hated ma Evelyn has any feelings, but are dragged along to the funeral of Harry, one of her exes she made them call 'dad'. Harpers will be Harpers, though: mother sees in every death an opportunity for real estate business, Charlie sees good-looking women as trophies to drag to his bed. Evelyn delivers the eulogy, which insults everybody, most of all by calling Harry's young widow a slut. Jake loses a computer toy in the casket, which daddy Alan has to retrieve.
Episode 22
That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother
Mon, May 9, 200522 mins
Alan hoped to get respect buying a cool Porsche, but as Charlie reacts, his Boxter model looks like a chic car, only inspiring greed for more alimony and allowance. Alan borrowed the money from their mother, who forces him to dinner date with ex-con Trudy, an alcoholic out of control, who ends up joyriding the Porsche. Meanwhile Berta keeps pretending to ignore where everyone is at Charlie's so they keep looking for each-other in the wrong places.
Episode 23
Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab
Mon, May 16, 200521 mins
The brothers can't resist mother Evelyn demanding quality with Jake, like his maternal grandparents, but 'less', so get her agree to a single night of Alan's weekend, which even Judith can't stop. The brothers feel guilty exposing the boy to the she-devil who traumatized both of them for life, so Jake gets spoiled and bribed first, then they find solace in a beach bar, serially dating birdbrain volleyball babes. Meanwhile hosting Jake proves way worse then being Evelyn's hillbilly guest.
Episode 24
Does This Smell Funny to You
Mon, May 23, 200521 mins
Jake amuses the class, but embarrasses his teacher, with an oral report about his weekend. When mother Judith dropped him off, she sneered at the brothers they have a role model function in the weekend, which doesn't fit with teaching Jake to play for Caesars's Palace chips, that may even have serious legal consequences for Alan- who gets a cane punched in the stomach when admitting his name is Harper to Norman, the old husband of Charlie's latest foxy catch, Nathalie, who didn't mention being married. Jake notices very little and understood nothing, absorbed by the search for his lost Gameboy. After Norman punched Charlie on every foot and gave him a gloomy lecture, being a former 'player' himself, he bumps into mother Evelyn, who sends the family and Bertha to the movies and does it with the old coot on Charlie's well-tried couch. Jake's report experience makes nice breakfast conversation at home, but Alan really is't comfortable to hear the boy's notes are at Judith's...