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Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episodes
Season 11 Episode Guide
22 Episodes 2013 - 2014
Episode 1
Nangnangnangnang
Thu, Sep 26, 201321 mins
Walden is forced to deal with two freeloading Harpers when Charlie's daughter that nobody knew he had arrives at the beach house.
Episode 2
I Think I Banged Lucille Ball
Thu, Oct 3, 201320 mins
Alan can't believe his luck: for once, to Walden's romantic envy, when his ex Lyndsey, who left Alan for another, insists on "meaningless" sex; golddigger Evelyn has a ball with live-in filthy-rich near-terminal fellow libertine Marty Pepper, but she must also take in late Charlie's daughter Jenny Harper.
Episode 3
This Unblessed Biscuit
Thu, Oct 10, 201321 mins
New PA Alan exasperates Walden with endless futile detail questions he's supposed to handle. Yet Berta takes the cake as nightmare employee when she invades Walden's bed and steals his weed after hurting her back. She resigns 'indignant' when asked about possible retirement, however absurdly generous. So the housemates interview and test housemaids, only to find the one good cook crazier then the other. Alan tricks Walden and Berta to meet.
Episode 4
Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank
Thu, Oct 17, 201322 mins
Walden decides to join Jenny and her friends during their wild escapades. But when he wakes with her in bed, they wonder what happened and if anything happened. And when Alan is out with Lyndsey, they run into a woman they know and when she assumes they're together, they deny it. So Lyndsey tells Alan to ask her out so that she won't think they're together. Which he does but she's throwing herself at him and he tries not to reciprocate.
Episode 5
Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003
Thu, Oct 24, 201320 mins
Walden can't bear to watch Jenny waste her future by partying all day instead of pursuing her acting dream, so he arranges a course with a Hollywoodian, but she deserts bored after a single lesson and still profits from lesbian luck. Alan can't resist spying on Lindsey's 'other boyfriend' Larry, whose discarded cloths he already wears, then meets him cycle-spinning in the gym, finds him incredibly nice and generous. Alan befriends him under the alias Jeff and stands Lindsey up for Larry's VIP sky box invitation, only to find her attending too, but she plays along.
Episode 6
Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants
Thu, Nov 7, 201319 mins
Walden dutifully agrees to attend one of his mother's monkey benefit dinners and even shouts eagerly begging Alan a $1000 plate on an unlikely quest to score a celebrity. Against expectations, Alan gets to meet his Wonder Woman heroine Lynda Carter and insists to be introduced to her. Walden agrees but starts doubting, as he feels his house-mate unworthy of almost anyone. Linda accepts, but only to kiss unprepared Walden.
Episode 7
Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie
Thu, Nov 14, 201322 mins
Walden and Alan approach a couple of girls and ask them out. And the one Alan hooks up with is "easy" to please. And when they are about to go out Lyndsey shows up, Alan is worried how she will react. But she says she's OK with it because they are not in a relationship. And just when things between Alan and the girl were heating up, Lyndsey calls up and she's drunk and saying she's not OK with it. So Alan goes to Walden who's about to get it on with his girl to ask what should he do.
Episode 8
Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room.
Thu, Nov 21, 201321 mins
Alan is still seeing Lyndsey's boyfriend, Larry who doesn't know that he and Lyndsey are seeing each other behind his back. But Larry tells Alan that he fears that Lyndsey is cheating on him so he hired a private investigator to follow her and the trail led to the beach house. Larry shows Alan a photo of the man she's seeing but it's Walden. Larry plans to go there and confront her. Alan then tells Walden who tells him to fix it but Alan doesn't want to jeopardize his relationship with Lyndsey; and with Larry. While Walden is out, Rose approaches him and tells him he's in danger. He doesn't believe her at first but when he sees a laser sighting on him he goes with her who takes him to a motel to hide. Alan tells Lyndsey about Larry's suspicions. She tells Alan to keep Larry occupied till she can find a way to fix things.
Episode 9
Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer
Thu, Dec 5, 201322 mins
When the boys go date-hunting in a bar, Alan's blunt attitude and Walden's sincere charm soon hook them up with two equally ill-matched friends. Walden senses trouble with airhead model Nadine, who keeps incurring ER-requiring injuries in his home and making moves on him, but his Samaritan kindness is cruelly rewarded. Alan seems lucky with Paula, but has reason for doubts when told after a night in his bed it's actually a transsexual ex-Paul, who actually still enjoys doing gentlemanly favors.
Episode 10
On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer!
Thu, Dec 12, 201322 mins
Walden helps Jenny get a second date with a one-night stand and Alan's transgender girlfriend's ex-wife hits on him. Meanwhile, in the spirit of the holidays, Alan receives a Japanese delicacy from Jake for Christmas, and Walden's Malibu house is alive with questionable Christmas carol lyrics.
Episode 11
Tazed in the Lady Nuts
Thu, Jan 2, 201421 mins
Walden finds a fired ex-employee, who hired him to write code for a new Internet project, to proud to accept his free improvements. Alan makes an even worse mess then else of himself after being bitten by a tick and trying to fix his swollen genitals himself, so Jenny and her girl must help him.
Episode 12
Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.
Thu, Jan 9, 201422 mins
Alan runs into Lyndsey and her boyfriend. He asks Alan to go on a double date with them and a girl he knows. Alan accepts. The girl they set him up with is hot. She then takes them to a party which is for swingers. Lyndsey's boyfriend gives Alan the opportunity to be with Lyndsey but she's upset with him for going on the date. Walden wants to hook up with Nicole but she wants to finish her project. So he offers to help but all they can think about is being with each other.
Episode 13
Bite Me, Supreme Court
Thu, Jan 30, 201422 mins
After multimillionaire Marty Pepper proposes to Evelyn, Walden and Alan throw him a bachelor party with several of his old friends (comedy legends Tim Conway, Steve Lawrence and Garry Marshall) who help him celebrate his last days of bachelorhood.
Episode 14
Three Fingers of Crème de Menthe
Thu, Feb 6, 201422 mins
Walden can't accept his manhood being out-staged by Jenny, her lesbian date and even Berta, more knowledgeable about cars and handier, so he resolves to prove himself a bigger then life macho handyman, alas with painful end results. As Jeff, Alan learns that Lyndsey dumped Larry but didn't tell him. Seeking solace in a strip club, Larry inspires 'Jeff' to go all the way for his love, but by the time Alan is ready to propose, she already gets and accepts Larry's ring, so Jeff must resume his supportive pretense.
Episode 15
Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin
Thu, Feb 27, 201430 mins
Alan turns to Judith for comfort after Lyndsey accepts Larry's marriage proposal; Jenny is worried that Brooke is blowing her off.
Episode 16
How to Get Rid of Alan Harper
Thu, Mar 6, 201421 mins
Walden planned a steady relationship with Nicole, but to his shock she prefers selling out their mind-probing computer device by accepting a Google job and moving to San Francisco. Their sidekick Barry soon decides against following her and invites himself to move in with Walden. Alan's alter-ego Jeff Strongman not only agrees to be Larry's best man against bride Lyndsey's wishes but also falls in love with the groom's sister Gretchen, who is scarily like the petty scrooge.
Episode 17
Welcome Home, Jake
Thu, Mar 13, 201420 mins
Realizing that Barry fits in too nicely with his parasitic/lazy housemates, Walden finds the courage to give him marching orders, albeit generously helping to find him a cozy apartment at Walden's expense. Alan feared that his relationship being found out would wreck his Jeff-Strongman alter-ego happiness, but Lyndsey gets jealous enough to resume sex with Alan and Larry is delighted to find his sister engaging in kinky sex with briefs-only best man "Jeff", whom he even promotes to best friend. To Walden's horror, Barry shamelessly abuses his standing invitation and hardly leaves the beach house, so the owner seeks privacy in the apartment.
Episode 18
West Side Story
Thu, Apr 3, 201420 mins
Delighted that his ex-lover Kate is back and agrees to a date, Walden dreams of a steady relationship, but as his house-mates warned, she still puts her own career first. Although warned by Walden that his lies can't stay hidden, Alan's alter-ego Jeff Strongman takes Gretchen to 'his' apartment, actually Barry's, where things get complicated by the arrival of jealous-horny Lyndsey and ultimately Larry. The couple's doggy bag-squid past expiration date causes repeated vomiting in Walden's home.
Episode 19
Lan mao shi zai wuding shang
Thu, Apr 10, 201421 mins
After a single quality day with Kate, Walden feels ready to propose again, but as his house-mates warned, all it takes for the hopeless romantic to switch course completely is Vivian, an adventurous stranger who comes ask for some water. Alas Walden's unintended fickleness ends up making his crotch feel abused like a carnival bullseye. Alan's happy time with Gretchen in Barry's apartment as Jeff Strongman cruelly collapse when she finds his wallet, yet she soon realizes it's no worse then what she did and proposes a new start as themselves.
Episode 20
Lotta Delis in Little Armenia
Thu, Apr 24, 201422 mins
Alan decides to start a new business venture at the house. Reeling from his recent breakup, Walden goes to a therapist, who says he falls in love too easily and advises him to have casual sex to get over his breakup. When one of Alan's clients shows up and he's not there, Walden lets her in, entertains her, and sleeps with her. Thinking that's what Alan's business is, pays him. Seeing how much money he makes, Alan lets women think that's what's going on without telling Walden.
Episode 21
Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot
Thu, May 1, 201421 mins
Walden, Jenny & Barry travel to Colorado in Walden's private jet to reconnect with his 1st car. While there they take advantage of Colorado's legalization; Gretchen pushes Alan to reveal his identity to Larry. Alan gets down on 1 knee & proposes to Gretchen.
Episode 22
Oh WALD-E, Good Times Ahead
Thu, May 8, 201422 mins
Alan proposes to Gretchen and she accepts but he also reveals to Larry who he is and his connection to Lyndsey. Upon learning of this Larry dumps Lyndsey. Alan and Gretchen plan their wedding and decide to use the one Larry was going to use for him and Lyndsey. Lyndsey snaps and pursues Alan. On the day of the wedding Walden inadvertently reveals to Larry something Alan didn't tell him which makes them try to rush the wedding. And some unexpected visitors arrive that may alter the outcome.
