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Hit Me Baby One More Time I'm...

Hit Me Baby One More Time I'm a huge fan of cheesy 80s pop music and totally unafraid to admit it. I've created an 80s playlist on my iPod, collected several 80s compilation box sets (on CD and cassette!) and set my TV remote to the '80s digital music channel. I can't remember much of what I learned in high school, but I can freely quote Duran Duran as if they were Byron. So you can imagine I had high expectations for One More Time, especially the season finale. Boy was I let down. The five finalists all looked good, especially Missing Persons's Dale, who sported a fedora over long blonde hair and a tight pin-striped suit. (Very Stevie Nicks meets Madonna.) Can you believe she's 50? But geez louise, the woman had no voice whatsoever! Not a big surprise considering her big hit, "Words" was totally synthesized. Even worse was Animoti

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Hit Me Baby One More Time
I'm a huge fan of cheesy 80s pop music and totally unafraid to admit it. I've created an 80s playlist on my iPod, collected several 80s compilation box sets (on CD and cassette!) and set my TV remote to the '80s digital music channel. I can't remember much of what I learned in high school, but I can freely quote Duran Duran as if they were Byron. So you can imagine I had high expectations for One More Time, especially the season finale. Boy was I let down. The five finalists all looked good, especially Missing Persons's Dale, who sported a fedora over long blonde hair and a tight pin-striped suit. (Very Stevie Nicks meets Madonna.) Can you believe she's 50? But geez louise, the woman had no voice whatsoever! Not a big surprise considering her big hit, "Words" was totally synthesized. Even worse was Animotion's Astrid who desperately struggled through "Obsession." She should've left all the vocals to bandmate Bill, who sorta reminded me of Lindsey Buckingham. Shannon practically put me to sleep — we've heard better from the top 20 on American Idol. The best thing about PM Dawn's "Set Adrift" was the riff they lifted from Spandau Ballet's "True." Clearly the most talented musician was Juice Newton whose "Queen of Hearts" sounded just as strong as it did on the radio 20 years ago. (And she was the only one who actually played an instrument while she sang — a gorgeous mint-green Danelectro guitar.) After her twangy country version of Ashlee Simpson's "Pieces of Me," I didn't need to hear the other four bands do contempo songs. I was convinced she'd be the winner. Wrong! Somehow PM Dawn's flat version of Puddle of Mudd's "Blurry" won over the young crowd. Wait a minute, they're a '90s band! Dude, that's like, totally bogus. Fer sure. — Robin Honig

Being Bobby Brown
Just how long have many of us been waiting for this? Ever since I first read that Bravo was developing this show, my biggest interest (of course) was not in Bobby Brown himself, but in his wife — the diva Ms. Whitney Houston herself. I've been a Whitney fan since the '80's, but I, like most people I know, prefer PDW (Pre-Drugs Whitney) over the current version. So did I get what I was waiting for? Well, I was expecting a trainwreck and, by golly, I wasn't disappointed. The best trainwrecks are the ones that you just can't look away from and I especially couldn't look away from the screen when they had the subtitles up. You know I had to see every word! And Bravo treated us with 2 back-to-back episodes, so I was in trainwreck heaven.

It's "My Prerogative" to give you a list of examples from tonight's two shows of why I will be back each week (and I hope that "Every Little Step I Take" has you agreeing with me):
1) Nice opening theme — love how they give us all the family members' names underneath cutesie photos of each.
2) Whitney saw Destiny's Child in concert but couldn't remember their name — "I saw them sisters... the ladies."
3) I need to start saying what Whitney said to Bobby: "Hell to the no!"
4) After Bobby smeared Preparation H under his eyes and Whitney picked out sunglasses in the hotel gift shop while performing an impromptu skat, the female clerk's facial expression was priceless. It personified most of the viewer's facial expressions at home.
5) Whitney gave us more reason for wanting the show to be called Being Whitney Houston when she said "Be me for a minute!" after saying no to the vacationer who asked for a photo.
6) Bobby's narration does make him more likable and I did enjoy his impersonation of Whitney snoring a la Donald Duck.
7) I can only imagine what other tacky things Bobby has up his sleeve after seeing him break into the hotel mini bar. Class act.
8) The show included a new low for reality television after Bobby admitted that he once used his own finger to assist Whitney with her constipation problem, prompting Whitney to mutter "That's love!" This just gives new meaning to the term "Crack is whack." — Dave Anderson

The Cut
I'm in shock! They finally did a challenge that involved designing and got to used the previously wasted special cutting room for the project. But my mind is still very confused by the fact that few of the contestants had any experience with design or sewing. How the heck did they get on this show? Did they not realize that object of this show was to get a fashion line with Tommy Hilfiger? I mean the people that try to work for Trump have at least some business sense or skills. Anyway annoying little Tommy was supposed to learn the reality TV lesson that if you are a control freak and the task goes bad then you'll be the one to take the fall. But the stubborn self involved guy proved that he was just a freak to the very end insisting that big boss Tommy would realize that he made a huge mistake. My thinking is the Tommy H.'s big error in judgement is not trying to find a way to get rid of pervy Jeff who creeped me out bad when saw him on the street trying to wrangle models. Ick. Oh, and a side note to Shauna: There are no sick days on reality shows! — Angel Cohn

Channel Surfing
After my annoying DVR incident, I caught the WB's handy dandy replay of Beauty and the Geek, and it was all I could have hoped for. Richard and Chuck nearly came to blows and will go head-to-head next week, and boy scout Shawn almost hyperventilated. Thought it was a little cruel that Scarlet who had just dissed her "special" friend Chuck, turned on her partner Shawn blaming him for being out of shape. Not so sorry to see her go. And gosh I hope Mindi wins next week. She deserves it for putting up with wacky Richard and for letting Mr. Happy Hands massage her feet. — AC

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