The Bikini Carwash Company Reviews

THE BIKINI CARWASH COMPANY is a film of such far-reaching stupidity and fatuousness that even the patience of its target audience--youthful, oversexed males--will be sorely tested. A rube from Iowa, Jack McGowan (Joe Dusic), roams around a California beach teeming with buxom, nubile babes, in search of his Uncle Elmer's (Michael Wright) carwash, where he is to take over the management for the summer while his uncle leaves to tend to an allergic condition. Jack comes upon a group of top-heavy coeds who have just been bemoaning the depletion of their vacation funds. Melissa (Kristie Ducati) directs Jack to the carwash and plots with her friends to trick him into providing them with more vacation money. No sooner has Jack assumed his new duties than Melissa shows up and, after exposing her breasts to the impressed youth, persuades him to take her on as a business partner. With the help of her bikini-clad friends, Melissa turns the carwash into a model of form and function--exposed female workers sudsing down spanking new cars. As a result, the carwash is a resounding success. A flasher and an irate district attorney appear at the carwash, but the rest of the film mostly concerns itself with the female carwashers performing their jobs in various states of undress. To round out the show, Jack and Melissa fall in love and Uncle Elmer returns to reveal his allergy as an aversion to underwear, compelling him to switch to the edible variety to help his sinuses. He also invites the kids back to work in his carwash next summer. THE BIKINI CARWASH COMPANY will only appeal to immature males who are voyeuristic and horny. It's certainly not a film with any appeal for women--not readers of Backlash or Revolution From Within, at any rate. The women are all bimbos who hang around the beach with their dude boyfriends simply to hold court and wait for their breasts to pop out of their string bikini tops. It's almost a slap on the side of the head when one character reveals that she's a political science major (with this and THE DISTINGUISHED GENTLEMAN, American politics may never recover). The southern California landscape of THE BIKINI CARWASH is almost on par with Arthur Conan Doyle's The Lost World--pure fantasy. It's a whitebread WASP world with no blacks, Hispanics, Jews or even Eskimos to blot the racially pure landscape. These comely youths can also make love morning, noon and night in every position because, in this world, AIDS is nothing but a diet pill. It's a land where stupidity is way of life, where one character can say "I need something to cover my boobs" and another character can reply "I'll cover your boobs" and mean it. The mentality of THE BIKINI CARWASH is like a smart virus. It creeps into your psyche and you either give in to moronic chortles or wince at the screen in stupefaction. The film's worldview can best be summed up by the fact that, half-way through its running time, the girls abandon cleaning cars in favor of soaping each other. As one character says to another, "Preposterous." As the other replies, "It's worse than that." (Excessive nudity, sexual situations.)