michael.ausiello

Question: You suck! You ...

Question: You suck! You should have your column censored and your keyboard keys completely smashed for talking negative about life as we know it  aka the best show on any network. You suck!  Scott Ausiello: Hey, watch your language, kiddo. I made you, therefore, I can break you. All I said was that ABC was probably gonna kill it in early December. I never said anything about it being bad. Actually, I kinda think life's pretty good. But the cold, hard truth is that not enough people are watching it to keep it alive. Now there has been a bit of good news since last we spoke, and I'll share it with you, Scott, if you promise to watch that mouth of yours. Promise? OK. ABC announced Monday that a life marathon will air on MTV on Nov. 27 and Dec. 4  proof positive that the network still believes in the show. The real test comes Dec. 2 when it returns to ABC's lineup

Wed, Nov 24, 2004

Wed, Nov 24, 2004

Question: Would you please ...

Question: Would you please tell me the name of the show about two sisters who were seamstresses in early England?  Donna Ausiello: I know this one... it's on the tip of my tongue... wait... wait... wait... damn, I lost it.

Wed, Nov 24, 2004

Wed, Nov 24, 2004

Question: Have you ever ...

Question: Have you ever considered being a sitcom writer?  Nikki Ausiello: As a matter of fact, yes. Back in my roaring 20s, I wrote spec scripts for Roseanne and Empty Nest that were actually quite funny, if I do say so myself. The Roseanne episode dealt with Rosie accusing D.J. of buying porn, only to later discover that it came from Dan's private stash. And the Nest story revolved around Carol and Barbara attempting to catch a serial burglar, only to later discover that it was just David Leisure sneaking in to use their cable. If there are any literary agents out there guffawing over themselves while reading this, I can drop fresh copies of these in the mail as early as today.

Wed, Nov 24, 2004

Wed, Nov 24, 2004

Question: Hey, Aus! I've got ...

Question: Hey, Aus! I've got a great title for your soon-to-be-renamed "TV News" column in TV Guide magazine ("Ask Ausiello" 11/17). Tell the higher-ups that Anthony from NYC thought up "All-knowing Ausiello News."  Anthony from NYC Ausiello: Well, I ran it by the fact-checkers here and they gave it the thumbs-up. That's a good start.

Wed, Nov 24, 2004

Wed, Nov 24, 2004

Question: Who are your top ...

Question: Who are your top five television couples of all time?  Latoria Ausiello: Good question. Let's see... Eden and Cruz, Felicity and Ben, Maggie and Richard, Eve and Nick and Roseanne and Dan.

Wed, Nov 24, 2004

Wed, Nov 24, 2004

Question: I just saw a ...

Question: I just saw a commercial for a new season of High School Reunion on the WB Tuesday. What?!? I thought both Gilmore Girls and One Tree Hill have been doing well? Which one is moving? Hopefully it is the latter, so I can watch The Amazing Race.  Bryan Ausiello: They are doing great. Rather than air One Tree Hill repeats, the WB is running HSR 3 at 9 pm for six weeks beginning Dec. 7. OTH will return with original episodes in January.

Wed, Nov 24, 2004

Wed, Nov 24, 2004

Question: Thank you. Now I ...

Question: Thank you. Now I have the Smurf theme song stuck in my head. How am I supposed to get anything done with "La, la, la, la, la, la... " blasting in my head all day?  Elissa Ausiello: Allow me to introduce you to my good friend, Anita Prozac. If anyone can make the singing stop, it's her.

Wed, Nov 24, 2004

Wed, Nov 24, 2004

Question: I have a question ...

Question: I have a question that I'd like you to ask Wes from The Apprentice. He started to explain why he brought all three of his teammates into the boardroom, but Trump cut him off. What was he going to say?  Jill Ausiello: Here's what Wes told me, Jill: "When the teams are this small  there were only four of us  we either win together or we lose together. It only made sense to me for every single one of us to have to defend our position."

Wed, Nov 24, 2004

Wed, Nov 24, 2004

Question: Has anyone ever ...

Question: Has anyone ever told you you look like Buster Poindexter?  Erica. Ausiello: Not to my face, Erica.

Wed, Nov 24, 2004

Wed, Nov 24, 2004

Question: Yo! I still haven't ...

Question: Yo! I still haven't heard from that certain blond woman you said was going to call me a couple of weeks ago ("Ask Ausiello" 10/27).  Jason Ausiello: Sorry, bro! Turns out, she'd rather you call her directly. Her number is 916-225-5887.

Wed, Nov 24, 2004

Wed, Nov 24, 2004

Question: How about "Open ...

Question: How about "Open Mike?"  Sue Fox Ausiello: Ladies and gentleman, I think we may have a winner! (The higher-ups were still mulling it over at "press" time, Sue. If they end up going with it, there's a copy of TV Guide's handy new tube bible Guide to TV headed your way. In case you haven't heard, it's the most definitive encyclopedia of television that you can buy.

Wed, Nov 24, 2004

Wed, Nov 24, 2004

Question: This is the first ...

Question: This is the first time I've read your column and I love it! Hopefully, they won't cancel it like they did Angel.  Victoria Ausiello: Good news, Vick! "Ask Ausiello" has been picked up for the remainder of the season. Next stop: syndication. On that note, Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Wed, Nov 24, 2004

Wed, Nov 24, 2004

Question: I'm sorry. I'm just ...

Question: I'm sorry. I'm just writing to see my name appear in your column. But I still love you!  Melissa Ausiello: That's what they all say, Missy.

Wed, Nov 24, 2004

Wed, Nov 24, 2004

Question: I think you look ...

Question: I think you look like Quentin Tarantino.  Anne Ausiello: To quote Nicole Kidman from The Others, "That'll do, Anne."

Wed, Nov 24, 2004

Wed, Nov 24, 2004

Question: OK, I'm a sucker ...

Question: OK, I'm a sucker and pulled up your "website" last week ("Ask Ausiello" 11/17) and I gotta know: Could you ask the girl behind the plane where she got the adorable pumps? (Not the icky flip-flop girl, the other one.) Thanks!  Heidi Ellis Ausiello: That was cute how you put the word website in quotes like that. Very clever. Anyway, I'm not in contact with Lady Pumps, but I do recall her saying she was an architecture student at some university in the Midwest. She just got married and was honeymooning with her new hubby  a fellow architecture student. Nice couple. Is that enough for you to go on?

Wed, Nov 24, 2004

Wed, Nov 24, 2004

Question: 1. What does the ...

Question: 1. What does the "T" stand for in your middle name? 2. Have the Powers That Be at TV Guide ever considered doing a road show like the Food Network's Big Food Show? You could have vendors, stars, Muppets... and you could charge $20 a head! 3. Have you ever been to Cleveland?  Tim (the first recipient of the "I Can't Believe You Asked Me This Award... ") Ausiello: 1. The "T" stands for Thomas. 2. No, but I'll pitch the idea to them and give you partial credit if they like it. 3. No.

Wed, Nov 24, 2004

Wed, Nov 24, 2004

Question: Why didn't Wes fire ...

Question: Why didn't Wes fire Maria's ass?  Holly Ausiello: Here's what he said about Madame Blinky, Holly: "Where I'm from you can't really slap girls around. I'm a pretty nice, polite guy, and I took the high road. I think it was the only way to go. My mother would be proud... It's not like I put my tail between my legs and ran, but at the same time, I could have had a firmer hand in the matter. At the end of the day, I weighed my options: Keeping Maria productive or not, and in my mind as the Project Manager, I really needed her expertise. I needed her there."

Wed, Nov 24, 2004

Wed, Nov 24, 2004

Question: What's up with the ...

Question: What's up with the ratings for Joan of Arcadia this year? Is there legitimate cause for concern, or do you think CBS will stick with the show?  Brian Rowell Ausiello: Ratings are down, but Joan still draws a devoted following on Friday nights. So I don't think there's cause for alarm just yet. Plus I hear God is working on quite the casting coup for February sweeps. Actually, I didn't just hear it  I reported it in the new issue of TV Guide magazine, on sale tomorrow. (Here's a hint: It's Lizzie McGuire, er, Hilary Duff.) Someone alert the Scoop Police  a crime has just been committed!

Wed, Nov 24, 2004

Wed, Nov 24, 2004

Question: I read that Keri ...

Question: I read that Keri Russell is doing a play in New York very soon. Are you going?  Sydney V. Ausiello: Gee, where on Earth did you read that? And yes, I'm going this Friday! In light of my attendance, I hear the theater is beefing up security that evening. They must be worried about my stalkers.

Wed, Nov 24, 2004

Wed, Nov 24, 2004

Question: Hey, did you get ...

Question: Hey, did you get all the e-mails I sent you about returning TV shows?  Dan Ausiello: Hmmm... doesn't ring any bells. Are you by any chance typing with your caps lock on?

Wed, Nov 24, 2004

Wed, Nov 24, 2004

Question: "Ausiello Alerts," ...

Question: "Ausiello Alerts," or "Alerts from Ausiello?"  Charlotte Ausiello: Your last name wouldn't happen to be Ross, would it?

Wed, Nov 24, 2004

Wed, Nov 24, 2004

Question: Someone in your ...

Question: Someone in your column recently wrote that Tru Calling was canceled, yet Fox.com says it's going to air in Jan. '05. What's the sitch?  Jen Ausiello: Fox.com also says Quintuplets is "taking America by storm." You do the math.

Wed, Nov 24, 2004

Wed, Nov 24, 2004