michael.ausiello

Question: I thought you ...

Question: I thought you looked kind of dorky in your picture in TV Guide and needed a possible wax job on the eyebrows, but then I saw you tonight on Inside Edition and you are way cuter than I thought! Can you get a new picture for your column to better reflect what you really look like? Love, love, love your column, dude.  Linda Coulter Ausiello: I love, love, love that you love me, Linda. And this might come as a shock, but I really don't like having my picture taken. I love, love, love it! So, I'll forward your request on to our photo department.

Wed, Dec 22, 2004

Wed, Dec 22, 2004

Question: Why? ? Zanne ...

Question: Why?  Zanne Ausiello: Because I was depressed, lonely and running out of options. Plus, I honestly didn't think I'd get caught. Wait a second... We are talking about the same thing, right? Right?! Well, on that ominous note, "Ask Ausiello" will be in repeats next week, but it'll be back with a fresh installment on Jan. 5. In the meantime, happy holidays! Thanks for making "Ask Ausiello" the phenomenon mostly everyone insists it isn't!

Wed, Dec 22, 2004

Wed, Dec 22, 2004

Question: I adore every iota ...

Question: I adore every iota of what little it is that I know about you, sir! You see, the only comfort they will let me have here at "Happy Hills Asylum" is my computer with Internet access. And, although I can't prove it, one of the nurses has filtered out every one of my favorite links except "Ask Ausiello." BTW, after reading "AA" I chant "Smurfs" four times every hour, on the hour.  Brynn Ausiello: Is that why they put you away?

Wed, Dec 22, 2004

Wed, Dec 22, 2004

Question: I'm willing to bet ...

Question: I'm willing to bet Keri Russell gave you fake digits. Have you tried the number yet?  Karen Ausiello: Does 212-555-1212 look like a fake number to you? Does it? Now who feels stupid?

Wed, Dec 22, 2004

Wed, Dec 22, 2004

Question: I too can tell you ...

Question: I too can tell you how famous you are ("Ask Ausiello" 12/15). Boston's Star 93.7 also uses your "Entertainment News" column for it's showbiz break-ins! Can I replace the new guy as your assistant? I'll hunt down more royalties to keep you in Smurfs for the rest of your life!  Ron Angelo Ausiello: You're hired. Mike, the dude who replaced Ismael, never showed up for his first day of work last week. Now I know how Murphy Brown felt.

Wed, Dec 22, 2004

Wed, Dec 22, 2004

Question: South Park and Curb ...

Question: South Park and Curb Your Enthusiasm need to be in your Top 10!  Chad Ausiello: They're Nos. 13 and 17 respectively.

Wed, Dec 22, 2004

Wed, Dec 22, 2004

Question: Only 77 more days! ...

Question: Only 77 more days! Are you excited?  Candelaria Ausiello: You bet I am!!! (Someone please tell me what Candelabra is referring to.)

Wed, Dec 22, 2004

Wed, Dec 22, 2004

Question: And Crossing ...

Question: And Crossing Jordan!?  Bonnie Ausiello: No. 104, tied with Listen Up!

Wed, Dec 22, 2004

Wed, Dec 22, 2004

Question: While browsing TV ...

Question: While browsing TV Guide.com, I came across your column and I noticed we have the same last name. I was just wondering where you are from? I am from Massachusetts. Maybe we're related!  Jenn Ausiello Ausiello: Oh, sure  now that I'm a big star at TV Guide you wanna be long-lost sibs. Where the heck were you when I was getting hamburgers thrown at my head in the high-school cafeteria? Huh?! In any event, I'm a New Jersey Ausiello.

Wed, Dec 22, 2004

Wed, Dec 22, 2004

Question: Do you know when ...

Question: Do you know when the final season of Queer As Folk is scheduled to start?  Jerome Ausiello: Sometime in May, although Showtime isn't confirming that it is in fact the final season. (And my shrink says I'm in denial.)

Wed, Dec 22, 2004

Wed, Dec 22, 2004

Question: How strange that ...

Question: How strange that you'd suggest dour, diminutive Sarah Michelle Gellar as the new Wonder Woman ("Entertainment News" 12/20) when the perfect choice is also in Joss Whedon's former coterie  gorgeous Charisma Carpenter. I can't think of a single actress who could fill those satin hot pants with half the wit and flair.  KT Ausiello: Never underestimate the power of tall red boots, KT. But you're right, Charisma would definitely be a better fit for the role. Got any other casting suggestions? Send 'em my way! In the meantime, will someone please tell me what coterie means? Is that like couture?

Wed, Dec 22, 2004

Wed, Dec 22, 2004

Question: Do you have ...

Question: Do you have Kayaking Smurf in your collection?  Christine Ausiello: Does Jonathan from The Amazing Race have his pharmacist on speed dial?

Wed, Dec 22, 2004

Wed, Dec 22, 2004

Question: I am a reality-show ...

Question: I am a reality-show junkie. I wondered if you think there will be another Average Joe series?  MC Ausiello: A new one has been shot, but NBC is sitting on it. I can't imagine why.

Wed, Dec 22, 2004

Wed, Dec 22, 2004

Question: What about Veronica ...

Question: What about Veronica Mars?  Abby Ausiello: A solid No. 12.

Wed, Dec 22, 2004

Wed, Dec 22, 2004

Question: I read somewhere ...

Question: I read somewhere that Angel, uh, I mean, David Boreanaz is going to be on a new TV show. Do you have any info on that? P.S. You're frickin' hilarious.  Megan Ausiello: Nothing since the last time I wrote about it in November. Click here for that story.

Wed, Dec 22, 2004

Wed, Dec 22, 2004

Question: Any idea if ...

Question: Any idea if Jonathan and Victoria have filed for divorce yet?  Tricia Ausiello: Apparently not. Check out their poor excuse for a website. (And that's coming from someone who knows a thing or two about lame websites.)

Wed, Dec 22, 2004

Wed, Dec 22, 2004

Question: Can you hook me up ...

Question: Can you hook me up with Steve D., the reader who expressed his love of Felicity, Gilmore Girls and Buffy in last week's Ask Ausiello"? I think I'm in love.  Kelly Ausiello: Only if you promise to name your first-born Mariska  regardless of the gender.

Wed, Dec 22, 2004

Wed, Dec 22, 2004

Question: After seeing how ...

Question: After seeing how Jonathan treated Victoria on the Dec. 14 episode of The Amazing Race, I was wondering about the rules of conduct for the racers. In this episode, Jonathan treated Victoria so poorly, she was in tears. Would there be any consequences for his abusive actions? Could he be arrested for assault? Would he have a "punishment delay" in the race? What did you think of Phil's reaction to Jonathan and Victoria's fight as they arrived at the pit stop?  Nicole Ausiello: I couldn't believe Phil didn't bitch-slap that lunatic on the spot when he shoved Vicky halfway across Berlin. At the very least he should have shot him with a tranquilizer dart. And although that particular incident didn't really qualify as assault, I'm told producers have security on hand during each and every race in the event that violence erupts. As far as what consequences he/she would face  penalty, arrest, immediate Philimination, etc.  that

Wed, Dec 22, 2004

Wed, Dec 22, 2004

Question: Could you expand ...

Question: Could you expand your Top 10 list and tell me where The O.C. would rank? Smurfs rock!!!  Oscar Ausiello: With Oliver: No. 35. Without Oliver: No. 14.

Wed, Dec 22, 2004

Wed, Dec 22, 2004

Question: Mike, this column ...

Question: Mike, this column is hilarious! When's the next season of America's Next Top Model coming on?  Jackie Ausiello: In early March, right after The Road to Stardom with Missy Elliott ends.

Wed, Dec 22, 2004

Wed, Dec 22, 2004

Question: OK, so imagine if ...

Question: OK, so imagine if you will that there's a fire and trapped inside are Mariska, Keri, and your Smurf collection. You can only save one of them, so what's it going to be?  Ellen Ausiello: It depends: Is it my entire Smurf collection  the ceiling fan and all?

Wed, Dec 22, 2004

Wed, Dec 22, 2004

Question: I have become a ...

Question: I have become a huge fan of "Ask Ausiello" over the last several weeks. When did you start writing it and is there anyway to access old, archived columns? Keep up the great work!  Nikki Ausiello: Thanks to the "Read More" button at the top of the column, you can access the entire "Ask Ausiello" library with the click of a mouse. Or you can send me $56.76 and I'll mail you a special bound collector's edition. A portion of the proceeds will benefit the Anita Zerobalanceonmyvisa Fund.

Wed, Dec 22, 2004

Wed, Dec 22, 2004