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Married... with Children Season 9 Episodes
Season 9 Episode Guide
28 Episodes 1994 - 1995
Episode 1
Shoeway to Heaven
Sun, Sep 4, 199422 mins
Al and Jefferson decide to cash in on 1970s nostalgia by selling shoes from that period.
Episode 2
Driving Mr. Boondy
Sun, Sep 11, 199422 mins
Bud gets a job as a driving examiner and he is the examiner when Al goes to renew his long expired drivers license. Meanwhile, Marcy gets Kelly a job as the model window girl at her bank after Jefferson's egocentric, selfish advice makes Kelly lose her job as the Verminator.
Episode 3
Kelly Breaks Out
Sun, Sep 18, 199422 mins
Kelly has a big zit on the day before her commercial for Ice Hole beer and Peg offers her a solution. Her uncle Sticky Wanker's zit removing potion will cure it. Al is ecstatic for her being in the commercial, despite being upset over not having tapes of Emma Peel. The Home Shopping Network has offered him a compromise, endless first edition volumes of The Three Stooges, which he also loves. His real problem is with Marcy and her feminist group. They recently filed suit against Ice Hole beer for not hiring average and unattractive women. It had gone nowhere as the jury ruled for the company and FANG is forced to protest against the commercial.
Episode 4
Naughty But Niece
Sun, Sep 25, 199422 mins
Bud's intense studying for a scholarship exam makes him periodically nod off and fantasize about making out with beautiful women. So, is a passionate encounter between him and Marcy's visiting, sexually aggressive, 19-year-old niece, Amber, a dream or real?
Episode 5
Business Sucks
Sun, Oct 2, 199422 mins
When Al banishes a nursing mother for breast feeding her baby in the shoe store, Marcy and FANG holds a protest against Gary's Shoe Store in order to have him lift the ban.
Episode 6
Business Still Sucks
Sun, Oct 9, 199422 mins
The day after, with no end in sight to the feud and both sides unwilling to back down, Al concocts a plan to rid the shoe store of women by selling mens shoes. But will it hold up when the long-unseen owner Gary finally arrives? Al's case is blown to bits after Gary shows up.
Episode 7
Dial 'B' for Virgin
Sun, Oct 16, 199422 mins
Bud's community-service assignment for college is the one he is least suited for: consulting virgins on the brink of temptation; he must wrestle with temptation himself when he goes to one's house to talk her out of it. Meanwhile, Al and Peggy go to the video store to find a movie that they can watch together.
Episode 8
Sleepless in Chicago
Sun, Oct 23, 199422 mins
Jefferson learns that the Barbie doll he bought for Marcy on her birthday at an auction is worth a small fortune of $50,000. So he asks Al a big favor: sleep next to Marcy for the night while he goes out to exchange dolls. In return, Al gets to keep a prized first edition of the magazine "Big 'Uns" that he bought at the auction with Jefferson's money.
Episode 9
No Pot to Pease In
Sun, Nov 6, 199422 mins
When Kelly auditions for a part in a Fox network sitcom she happens to mention some stories about her family which the producer likes better then the original script.
Episode 10
Dud Bowl
Sun, Nov 13, 199422 mins
After the funeral of a former football teammate at the Bullpen Sports Bar, an old rival, named Jack Franklin, challenges Al and his former team from Polk High into a grudge football match between them. But Al ends up being turned into a tackling dummy by ringers Bubba Smith, Laurence Taylor, Ken Stabler and John Reynolds on the opposing team.
Episode 11
A Man for No Seasons
Sun, Nov 27, 199422 mins
When Major League Baseball goes on a strike, NO MA'AM organizes their own league sponsored by nude bars.
Episode 12
I Want My Psycho Dad Part 1
Sun, Dec 11, 199422 mins
Al launches his group NO MA'AM in a protest outside the local TV station after Marcy's group FANG gets NO MA'AM's favorite TV show "Psycho Dad" canceled. But in a blizzard, no one takes notice. Meanwhile, Kelly and Bud try to convince Al to have them throw a house party for their friends.
Episode 13
I Want My Psycho Dad: Part 2
Sun, Dec 18, 199430 mins
Al and his friends from NO MA'AM who include Griff, Officer Dan, Ike, and Bob Rooney travel to Washington D.C. where thanks to Jefferson's pull, being a former CIA agent, Al and the group gets to address the U.S. Senate about Psycho Dad being put back on the air.
Episode 14
The Naked and the Dead, But Mostly the Naked
Sun, Jan 8, 199522 mins
To check out their husbands claim of "totally innocent fun," Peggy, Marcy, and their friends accompany their husbands Al, Jefferson, Charlie, Ike, and Bob Rooney to the Jiggly Room strip club. Afraid of the ladies responses, Al and the group take them on a Thursday night where it's A-cup night so the men won't get excited by the small breasted dancers. Everything goes well at first, until the unexpected arrival of a huge breasted stripper named "Rocky Mountains." Meanwhile, Kelly lands a part in a weight loss commercial and must drink various un-drinkable protein shakes.
Episode 15
Kelly Takes a Shot
Sun, Jan 15, 199522 mins
Al gets an owl costume to scare away the birds who keep him awake. To impress Amber, Bud helps Kelly to learn archery for her audition.
Episode 16
Best of Bundy
Sun, Feb 5, 199523 mins
George Plimpton hosts a 200th Episode celebration. Includes clips from many episodes spanning from the 1987 inaugural season through the mid-point of season 9.
Episode 17
Get the Dodge Out of Hell
Sun, Feb 5, 199522 mins
Al's Dodge mysteriously disappears during a family visit to a local car wash while on their way to Wanker county. Meanwhile, Marcy's ex-husband, Steve Rhoades, mysteriously reappears at the car wash to show her his new life while she is trying to get the lazy Jefferson to work there.
Episode 18
25 Years and What Do You Get?
Sun, Feb 12, 199522 mins
On their 25th wedding anniversary, Peggy goes out with Marcy to a posh health spa where Peggy gets conned out of all her money by a gift shop employee selling cheap beauty items. Meanwhile, Al is in trouble when the old and senile Buck buries in the back yard the anniversary gift necklace he plans to give Peggy, which prompts him, Bud, and Kelly to literally dig up the entire back yard looking for the necklace.
Episode 19
Ship Happens
Sun, Feb 19, 199522 mins
Wolfman Jack appears at the Bundys' door telling them that they won a free Caribbean cruise. So while he stays at the Bundy house and eats Kelly and Bud out of house and home, Al and Peggy, with Marcy and Jefferson along strictly for the ride, hit the high seas on the S.S. Sea Dodge. They stay in a cramped cabin in the boiler room on a ship with large women on their way to a weight loss center on a tropical isle.
Episode 20
Ship Happens
Sun, Feb 26, 199522 mins
The Bundys ocean cruise takes a turn for the worse when their ship sinks and they are stranded on a life raft in the middle of the ocean with the D'Arcys, a fat woman, and comedian Gilbert Gottfried. Meanwhile, Kelly and Bud endure the media circus that comes to their house asking about their missing parents.
Episode 21
Something Larry This Way Comes
Sun, Mar 12, 199523 mins
Kelly gets a big break while attending the Larry Storch School of Acting when she and Larry Storch are to appear on stage in a part of the show "Phantom of the Opera." But when the shoe store owner, Gary, knocks out Larry Storch himself, whom she holds a personal grudge against, Al must leave the midnight madness sale at the shoe store, leaving Griff solo, to go to Kelly's rescue at the theater.
Episode 22
And Bingo Was Her Game-O
Sun, Mar 26, 199522 mins
Peggy gets invited to the Bingo Invitational Final. To their horror, Al and Jefferson hear that the new spokes-model for their official No Ma'am club beer, Girlie Girl Beer, is Yoko Ono. Therefore, No Ma'am must select a new official beer.
Episode 23
User Friendly
Sun, Apr 9, 199522 mins
Bud gets hooked on a virtual-reality sex experiment to revitalize his sex life with Amber, until she and Kelly find out and plan to stop him. Meanwhile, during his week-long vacation, Al becomes obsessed with an electrical switch that has an unknown function.
Episode 24
Pump Fiction
Sun, Apr 30, 199522 mins
When Kelly and Al collaborate and make a short documentary film about shoes for Kelly's acting class in the Larry Storch School of Acting, they win a grant of $10,000 from the National Endowment of the Arts to make another movie: "A Day in the Life of a Shoe Salesman."
Episode 25
My Favorite Married...
Sun, Apr 30, 199522 mins
Cast members talk about some of the best moments in the series.
Episode 26
Radio Free Trumaine
Sun, May 7, 199523 mins
In this pilot for a proposed new TV series, set on Trumaine University's radio station, W.H.I.P., DJ's Oliver Cole and Mark Campbell host several hours of unconventional and overlooked programming. After a probing interview, divulging the past of Trumaine's new dean of students, Steve Rhoades, both Oliver and Mark are kicked off the air and expelled from the college. Marcy arrives and upon hearing the news, she tries to get revenge against her ex-husband by leading a feeble on-air protest against their expulsion. But their protest doesn't attract much attention. Meanwhile, Bud is dating April Adams, a fellow student and intern from Marcy's bank, who is also being pursued by Nickolai Pushkin, a rugged, handsome basketball star from Russia. When Bud desperately attempts to steal April's affections away from Nickolai, Mark happens by and secretly broadcasts the conversation over the station and calls it "Hot Talk With April." Mark, Oliver, and their new show become so popular that dozens of people turn out for the protest, in which Steve backs down and lets them stay on the air and at the college. April ends up rejecting both Bud and Nickolai, as well as a job at Marcy's bank to remain with Mark and Oliver at their radio station.
Episode 27
Shoeless Al
Sun, May 14, 199522 mins
An insurance agent is assigned to make sure Al is afraid to wear shoes to corroborate his lawsuit against the mall that claims he is afraid of shoes after being tied up by a burglar while at work. But Al must decide between the money from the settlement or winning a bowling championship when he's not allowed to bowl barefoot.
Episode 28
The Undergraduate
Sun, May 21, 199522 mins
Kelly's new secret admirer turns out to be a wealthy, spoiled, immature 12-year-old boy named Robby Bennett, who blackmails her into accompanying him to his middle-school junior prom. Bud also crashes the prom disguised as a music DJ to taunt Kelly until she finally cries out for help, and Bud saves her by contacting Robby's father--who eyes Kelly too.
